Wednesday, February 09, 2005

i'm fed up.

Geez. Today, I finally unleashed all the opinions about the slackers in our AP English class that have been building up since last semester, and they proceed to blow it out of proportion and make drama out of it. If there's one thing that girls in our high school are good at, it is making drama out of ridiculously un-drama situations. I, in all my social stupidity, suggested that perhaps they would actually have some homework to do in AP English and that it really isn't that hard. I also called them out for trying to use the "I have tons of AP classes" excuse, because I have the most homework-intensive AP classes of anybody in our school, and I have plenty of time to do it, even with 2 hours of lifeguarding a night. That's how it started. Innocuous enough, or so I thought. And then, while going over the vocabulary sheet for a quiz we are going to have on Monday, some of the folks were like "oh, we already had that word." I in all my logical splendor decided to say something to the effect of: "well, then you already learned it and so it's like extra points on your test!" It was optimistic! It wasn't weird! It made sense! Despite this, some of the girls took it upon themselves to make fun of me. Indirectly, mind you- the most popular mode of tearing people down by this crowd. Everybody recognized it, and while their whole side of the room was laughing along in their immature teenage way, we all knew what was going on. I knew, Goldie knew, the other half knew, and I didn't say anything about it. I just turned around to BAG and Tillman and talked to them to distract myself from the immaturity. It was my survival mechanism. Then, to top it all off, they all started pleading for Goldie to sing a song. That is my BIGGEST pet peeve, like, ever. I almost couldn't handle it. It drives me craazzzy. So I acted a little crazy for a few minutes. It was actually a good coping method- you should try it some time. I bit my pen and went into a mini rage about how I hated the pleading. And then class ended.

In Advisor Advisee, we were talking about general gripes in classes, kindof, and I asked Goldie if what I did made sense. And I told her my frustration at the lack of willingness for people to do work. And how I hated it when I would tell people summaries of the story, and then they would comment in class as if they had actually read it. I also talked about how it was a cop-out when people said "well, i can't listen to your argument because i'm not a genius..." or "of course it's easy for you, you're emma." I hate that. It's a total BS excuse. Goldie's the one that said it, too. That it was BS. And then the topic moved on and they were talking about people who do their work, and so I said. "Well, I see so-and-so takes good notes when we do stories and novels and stuff, and I know for a fact that so-and-so does hers because she tells me about it." And that was all I said. Two of the girls in AA with me decided to tell "that half" that I told Goldie that they never did their work.

So they are all mad at me. For something I didn't do. But they won't tell that to my face, they'll just gossip about me behind my back and create opinions that I am mean spirited or something. Because, honestly, it wasn't mean. It was meant to be a reality check. If you're in AP english- heck, if you're in school at all- you should expect to have to do some homework. Slackers who don't complain about the workload don't bother me. Slackers who get defensive and try to rationalize themselves out of their slackerness (some resort to becoming the ever popular ECW) and who get mad when they are called out on this slackerness totally bother me. I am going to be more mature about it, though, by apologizing and saying that I was merely in a bad mood and that I didn't mean to offend anyone. Because I didn't. I just hate it that they won't ever see that they were totally off base and hurt my feelings. They will claim it as a victory. I just hate immaturity. The fact that this whole situation made me want to cry, like, all day sucks so much. I get under their skin, so they resort to mean tactics of making me feel bad and tearing me down and getting under my skin. I resort to feeling bad about myself and wanting to cry. I don't start rumors about them back. I guess that's why I am never in a state of perpetual drama. Or why I am not a typical high school girl.

Whatever. I'm done with it. That was my final rant on the subject. It is in the past. I am officially over it.

4 comments:

CoCo said...

Ugh...Mount Airy, NC....Drama capital of the world.

Anonymous said...

here's what the mantra i keep on repeating to myself:
"i can be a loner for four more months. i can be a loner for four more months."
i suggest you catch up on some reading/knitting/hammocking etc and be a loner. it's a lot cheaper than having friends every night!
xoxo
shmims

Anonymous said...

I understand where you are coming from to a certain degree, but maybe sometimes its better to keep opinions to yourself, instead of classifying people as slackers because they don't own up to your expectations... I don't think judging people on how much work they do in ap english is for you to say... I think it should be left to Mrs.Goldwasser. So most people will be on the defense when offended, especially after doing 2 hours of sports and AP homework...but I'm sure no one intended to hurt your feelings. Also by saying you have the hardest schedule and etc etc... it comes across as bragging, and no one likes a bragger. I think you should take into consideration that you might be hurting our feelings and making us feel like we aren't as good as you. High School girls are dramatic, but if that whole post isn't drama... then I don't know what is?
-AP English "Slacker"

Anonymous said...

Taylor Clark is the slacker.