someone please save us... us college kids

Ok, so college was making me feel stupid. Chem lab in particular, and a bit of Enst 35, but generally I was feeling like I turned dumb when I came here, seeing as how it was a bigger pond and how I seemed big in a small pond but really am just a normal fish. Well, now I feel better because I kept thinking it was inevitable that I would do poorly at college but I did well on my Chinese and Chemistry tests! I'm not so good at quizzes--in any class--but I sure can handle the tests. When I think about it, Labs were always the worst part of classes in HS, but now it's just like it's concentrated into the Chem Lab that I hate so very much. I don't really hate it, I'm just not good at writing lab reports. So, now I feel better about my ability to be good at school, and I think I'm going to have a good weekend. I won't procrastinate like usual. As my wise middle-school teacher of a sister said, it's better to spread the work out so you have time to stop and smell the roses. Which is true. It's hard to smell roses if you're stuck on a computer doing a chem lab all the time. Honestly.

So, I told myself I wouldn't go home until Fall Break, and I'd say I'm doing a pretty good job of it. A month seems like a pretty long time to wait until then, but if you think about it it's only like 2 more weekends after this one and then the next weekend is fall break! I mean, I do have midterms and all that, but I'll probably survive. I really am glad that I'm not going home, because I need to get settled. If I stay longer than I've ever stayed at a camp, it keeps college from feeling like a bunch of camps all at once, you know? If I go home now, I'll feel like I'm just starting the second half of GSW or something. And I don't want to feel like that. On the other hand, if I keep looking forward to things then I'll forget to be happy about things going on in the present time. Like we have a football game on saturday! If I were only concentrating on fall break, I'd forget to be happy about that. Yay Carolina sporting events!!!

For the record, stress makes my muscles hurt and I have very poor computer posture at this desk with this laptop. So then all my muscles hurt when I have to keep studying on the computer and doing Lab reports. Just for the record.

I'm going to do some homework that isn't due until Monday! shocker!!

the art of quadding

Right now, I'm leaning up against a tree in the lower quad, along with many of my fellow UNC-ers, enjoying this cool, end-of-summer-but-still-not-fall day. My chem lab starts in approximately 40 minutes, after which I will be done for the day. I thought that this would be the perfect time to blog.

Ok, so Chem Lab has taken over my life. I procrastinate my lab reports until Tuesday afternoon, and then I freak out and don't do well on them. Such was the case last night. I've been doing work during all of my spare time since Sunday. Tonight I have to study for Chinese, and then Thursday I have to catch up on my readings for Enst 35 and then it pretty much starts all over again. I just need to learn how to split up my work so I have a little bit of time all the time instead of a lot of time only some of the time. Right. I make sense.

Hehe, so a group of protestors just walked by the quad yelling "What's disgusting? Union busting! What's outrageous? Sweat-shop wages!" and "Hey hey, ho ho, sweat-shop rates have got to go." I don't even know what they were protesting. But they were loud.

Last night I was all stressed out by my chem lab and was debating not going to YL since it was just a dinner and not a real club, but I was like there's no way i can stand to do this chem lab for any more seconds. So I went to McAlisters to meet the YL people all by myself. It was really fun. I got to actually talk to the leaders for more than 15 minutes, and it made me feel so at home. I heart YL a lot. Aannnd I found out that College Life is gonna go to Windy Gap and do work crew in November. I'm soooo pumped about that. Young Life people are just so much fun to be around.

Quadding is my new favorite thing to do. On my long days when I have to stay up on campus all day, I take a break around lunch to just listen to my iPod and look at the trees and the sky and it's very relaxing. It's like taking a little nap, except without sleeping. And you get to see fun stuff, like people playing frisbee and prostesting and tightrope walking. Yeah, these guys are tightrope walking over on a rope between two trees right now. It's not too far off the ground, but it looks like it takes a heck of a lot of balance-- balance I certainly don't have. Oh yeah, and I think the protestors made it to the Pit. I hear them yelling again. "ONE we are the students TWO a little bit louder THREE we want justice for the workers!" Silly geese.

Ok, I'm gonna head off to Chem Lab now, but I hope you have a good day and thanks for joining me on my quadding experience today. Adios!

this weekend made me happy! for reasons that will remain a mystery to the public, as to not jinx it. lets just say that i'm verrrryy happy and leave it at that. yay!!!

p.s.- i might rush phi beta chi in the spring, because casey and megan are in it and they want me to. and i want to, too. we'll see how that plays out.

it's official.

My new chinese name means "Love Plum."

Ran (third tone) ai (fourth tone) mei (second tone).

Ran ai mei.

You can just call me love plum.

ni hao

Hey guys! I guess it's time for an update on my life, since I haven't been posting very regularly. The reason for this irregularity can be summed up in one word: College. When I'm not sleeping, I'm studying. And when I'm not doing either, I'm hanging out with my friends. It's just how it works. And then when I'm not doing any of those things, I'm wasting time on facebook and not having enough time to organize my thoughts into a coherent blog.

Today's top story: I got a new cell phone! It's glorious-- it flips open, has ringtones, takes pictures, is cheap because of the wonderful school which I attend, has awesome service on campus, and has unlimited minutes when I call people with Cingular, which most of my friends do. It's glorious. I am officially in love with it. It's the first time I've had a new cell phone since my original phone, which was before the flip-phone craze, I guess. So, yeah. That is good news. Super duper. Neato, gang.

In other news, I can speak Chinese. It's fun to know how to do something like that. Like, I can read some characters and speak out loud and say things like "I am an American." "I am not a teacher." Today in class, Li Laoshi made us say funny things. We were repeating our new vocabulary after her, and she'd arrange it to say different things than were in the book. We learned how to say "friend" and "boy" and "girl" and also a possesive pronoun. She started making us say "I don't have a friend." "I don't have a boyfriend." "I don't have a girlfriend." Way to make it more obvious, Li Laoshi. Thanks a lot. Hehe... Oh, teachers.

I also now have 2 nalgenes that I love. I love them a lot. More than life, a little bit. Allthough I do love life a lot right now. I now have a family of nalgenes-- A big pink one (the mommy), a big blue one (the daddy) and a little green one (the baby). Ironically, the baby is the oldest of the bunch. I just added a chaco sticker to my blue nalgene that already has a carolina logo and an apple logo and a sticker of a street sign that looks like it says walking but then has a hula-hoop around the person's waist. I love that one a lot. The blue nalgene looks like a boy. It has boy stickers on it. Except for the hula hoop, but whateva. It has a spot that I need to fill immediately, lest it gets under my skin and annoys me forever. The pink one makes me smile every time I look at it. It is pink with a pink lid and girly stickers-- a flower YL one and a big one that says "PEACE" with hearts and peace signs in the block letters. It also has that nalgene flowery-looking thing on it. The only annoying thing is that I put the PEACE sticker on too low so it crinkles at the bottom, but I think it will survive. Maybe I'll exacto-knife it. Another reason it makes me smile is that I have a yellow smiley-face splashguard. The PEACE sticker is yellow, so it coordinates and makes me happy. The street sign on Mr. Nalgene is also yellow, so the splashguard coordinates there as well. Yayy! Nalgenes make me happy!!!

So, um, yeah. I love hanging out. I love it so much, that I watched Anchorman Friday, Saturday, and Monday, just for fun. Group watchings of that movie are fun. I should have studied for Chinese on Monday night, but I loved the Anchorman proposition more than studying at that point, so I made flashcards simultaneously instead of devoting my full attention to studying. (Don't worry, I was a good student and woke up early to refresh myself with the language before taking the quiz-- and I think I did well on it, too.) So, yeah. I'm going to go watch America's Next Top Model in Liles and Erika's room tonight because I love to hang out with them. And I'm giving myself a break from doing schoolwork. Poo on schoolwork, seriously.

Yay! It's practically the weekend now!

sorry for lack of postage, but school has officially taken over my life.

hey, i can speak chinese!

wo bu shi xuesheng hao. "i am not a good student." except i'm missing all the tones, because i don't know how to do it with the keyboard.

basically, chem lab sucks and i spend forever on lab reports. yay.

raisin...

my kitty died. and that makes me sad. she was 17 years old, and we'd been friends since we adopted each other in Texas when i was one-and-a-half. i love her. even though she would always try to bite my head when i was sleeping, even though she had the roughest tongue ever, even though her meow was reminiscent of a bull-horn, even though she took forever to get settled on your lap, even though she would bat at my hand when i'd type on the computer, i love her. i've never known my house without her. i'm going to miss her.

i'm sad that i'm never home when my pets die.

congratulations! you're a seeder!

Today it rained. I was caught unawares, and walked the entire 15 minutes in the downpour back to my dorm room. Needless to say, I was soaked. But it was fun after I was completely soaked, and I even got to walk barefoot. Oh, and I got a bit of puddle jumping in, too. So it wasn't too bad.

YL's College Life started, and I am so excited. I like being in some form of my comfort zone. I don't know any of the people, and I'm going to be venturing into a new world of leadership, but I already know that I love Young Life. And I am naturally drawn to people who do YL as well. It made me really happy.

I'm addicted to sunflower seeds.

I like using any excuse for counselor handwriting. I like taking pictures.

The printers that are in the basement are cool, becuase I don't have to pay for them. Yay!

national geographic tongue

Ok. I definitely have not reached the stage in my college life to go to a coed Hoe Down safely yet. I can't handle it. I want to meet a good group of girls to be best buds with, but it's hard to do so when they are all trying to meet boys. A bunch of boy-crazy college girls looking for husbands or boyfriends or hookups is not the scene I feel comfortable in right about now.

It's an interesting thought, though-- relationships in college. When Eric Leathers gave me words of wisdom for college, I had a couple reactions to them. "Don't fall in love during your first semester" was his advice. My first reaction was-- that won't be a problem. The other was-- one semester of college is not enough time to do so. But now I see more reason to the sage advice. It's less about actually falling in love as it is the mentality. Going into college, you are bombarded with new people to meet. If the thought of finding the love of your life is in the back of your mind, it alters the way you think about everyone-- subconsciously, of course. Somehow you find yourself measuring everybody up to some imaginary standard you've built up for yourself. "Could I be friends with this person?" "Could I see myself with this person?" "I wonder if they like me." First impressions become a crucial factor of social interaction.

I've found myself falling back into my habits of overanalyzation while here. The moments when I can slip out of that mindset are the most free and most fun. I get so caught up in trying to find who I really click with that I don't just let things happen. Everything has an underlying meaning or something. Its hard to find what to focus on. There is so much free time, and I have to get over the fact that this is not camp. It's my new life. These people will be my "college friends," like the ones my sister and my college-age friends have. But I've only been here for 2 weeks. That is not enough time to find and bond with a group of good friends all at once. When I remember this, I switch back into the favorable mindset and stop overanalyzing things. Then I feel like a normal person again. And I like it.

I keep telling myself that I'll be happier when Young Life (or I guess I should start calling it College Life) starts. If nothing else, I can throw my energy into something with which I am very familiar. It's easier because I already know that I love YL.

So, yeah. Falling in love my first semester. I don't want it to happen. I want to find myself and my group of friends before I try to devote my energy to things I don't know how to do, namely relationship things. I have no idea how to deal with those kinds of things. My overanalytic nature is the worst thing in the world for that. For example: what is this post even about? Me trying to express some sort of coherent thought on a vague theme. It doesn't make sense, really. And neither does my brain when I think of any type of relationship-- friend ones or romantic ones or any other ones you can think of.

In conclusion, I'm tired and am trying to face the transition into college, and you are seeing the effects of that. There will be more on this stuff later, I guess. Until then, zaijian! (it means goodbye in chinese... hehe)

p.s.- i really like college, don't get me wrong. i really do. it's gonna be a really fun experience.

ooooooh that smelll

School stressed me out yesterday. I was overwhelmed with the fact that classes were going to be hard, and I felt like I was already behind for some reason. They all seem to be challenging in ways I am not used to. Chinese is hard because I have to learn how to move my mouth in totally different ways to produce the sounds. Environmental Studies is hard because we have to do a case study and interview people and have hard exams that are essays. I feel somewhat behind in Chem because I don't have a calculator and I want to do the homework. And it's online, which is not what I'm used to for numerical answer stuff. And maybe I should've read the chapter earlier. And freshman seminar doesn't look too hard, I just have to write response papers and it's just once a week. Not too bad.

I was going to go on an InterVarsity retreat this weekend, but I've decided to stay home and catch up on schoolwork. I'm not really behind, I just need to get in the groove. So this will be a "groovy" weekend. Except everybody's apparently going home or something. I just really need to go to a Wal*Mart. I need folders and a calculator and spiral notebooks and random things that will satisfy this Wal*Mart craving. But I don't have a car. Maybe when the fam comes to visit me. Who knows?

My posts are boring. I can't think. I have a chinese quiz tomorrow. They'll get better. Sorry.

i got my own VIC card today!!

I've survived my first week of college... and I didn't run out of meals! Surprising, I know. It's easier than it looks.

So, yeah. Not much to report, really. I woke up at 8:00 yesterday morning without the aid of an alarm or anything. I just opened my eyes and it was 7:55 and I didn't feel like I needed to go back to sleep. So I did some laundry, listened to some music, cleaned up a little bit... you know, housekeeping kind of things. It was really chill and fun... I like relaxing for long periods of time. I was a bit sad that Ashley couldn't make it from Boone, but I totally understand her reasoning. I, too, hate driving long distances by myself when I'm going to be at the destination for only a night. So the dinner we had planned at Top of the Hill was slightly altered for the circumstances. Nicole and Casey and Ashley weren't going to be there, and that made it only McKenzie, Nancy, Liz (nan's roomie) and me. Nan and Liz were a bit late (only by 30 minutes), but all-in-all it was a good meal. Not too expensive, and with extra to spare-- just my kind of meal! Afterwards, McKenzie and I headed down to see "Mediocre Bad Guys" playing at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was a cool setting; one could watch the football games, eat some dessert, and listen to a Jack Johnson cover band all at once! I liked seeing some folks from home, too. Gary, Jerry, and Les are cool guys. After that, Mac and I took the P2P. Point 2 Point. Gotta love the P2P. Especially when drunk people get on. It's funnier that way. And then after that, I went to sleep.

So I'm pumped that I survived my first week with only minor bumps and bruises. No, just kidding. I don't even have bumps or bruises! Sweet! I'm doing better than I thought. Speaking of college, I need to have a good study routine. I haven't really had to have one yet, because I haven't really had homework or anything. I've had reading, but I've done it from my chair. Not a good idea. That chair makes me want to watch TV and have ADHD, not read a book. Silly chair.

Speaking of my chair, I'm off to be lazy on this lovely sunday afternoon. Hasta luego!

boy, i'm tired.

Hey, folks! Not a lot has been happening in Emma-land. Just getting adjusted to college life. It takes a while, I think, to get in the groove. I still have to get used to the fact that this is school, but you are supposed to be more social than I normally am at home.

The most exciting thing to happen to me was the sighting of Sean May and Marvin Williams in Kenan Stadium while watching a Football practice that was apparently closed to the public with McKenzie, Jacob, and Dusty. It was fun times, definitely.

Other than that, I've pretty much been anti-social these past two days. I'm so tired and so not used to being social that I don't know what to do with myself. My classes are done by lunch, and then I have the rest of the afternoon to sit around until Dinner, which is when people do things. I feel bad about wasting away the afternoons because I never do anything at night, really.

This week was so long. I feel like I've been here so long, but I still don't really have a set schedule. My classes were just in the beginning stages, so I haven't had to go study. I need to spend some serious time in the Library to feel productive during the day. My butterfly chair isn't conducive to studying. I feel like I'm rushing myself so that I can hurry up and do nothing. I really like my classes; I feel like it is a good variety. I haven't had my freshman seminar or my lab or my recitations yet, though. Once I've had all I'm going to have, I think I'll start to get in the groove.

Also, I haven't really made a ton of new friends right away. I knew that I wouldn't really make new and best friends right away, I just forgot that it took time for it to happen. I've met plenty of people, but I like being with people who know me already, at least a little bit. That's why I like Cheerio and GSW people. I've already passed the odd stage with them.

Despite the exhaustion and the reclusiveness and slight awkwardness that has permeated my college life thus far, I think it's going to be great. I just need to get used to the fact that this isn't a camp that I will leave soon, it's college. It's my new home. I have to go to school and be social all at the same time.

I'll get better at it, I swear.