The art of living out of your car

 There comes a time in every newly grown woman's life when she has to look at her wallet and decide whether she has enough money to pay rent for the summer months in which she is technically unemployed. Being the (wannabe) vagabond that I am, I decided to rely on the good graces of my friends in the area to allow me to, shall we say, float about for the summer. I have come up with some obstacles in the terminology I use to describe myself during these wandering months, so I have explored the various connotations of using each term.

• Homeless: this draws up images of some sort of a permanent state of living, making it look like I have fallen victim to bad economic planning. It also makes me look like I don't know how to live in a house and have maybe been evicted or something. Homelessness is a serious issue that people spend lots of time trying to rectify and/or justify why they're not rectifying it, so I think it would probably be very "first -world-problems" of me to pretend to be homeless, because I definitely am not.
• Couch surfing: surfs up, dude! Surfing is, like, the favorite American pastime. Couches are, like, the favorite lazy person pastime. So what better term to have to make my lack of a domicile sound like something everybody wants to do right now. So chill, so hip, so early-to-mid-twenties of me. An internalized requirement for this term is a vast array of friends on whose couch you are able to surf. Or you could just go to this website ?!
• Living out of my car: this makes it sound like all of my belongings are strategically placed throughout my car for easy access without removing them, and that I have a hammock behind the drivers seat in case I need to sleep outside. Which is true... but it also makes it sound like I can live without a bed or running water. This is not true. I have found that one cannot entirely live out of ones car without supplementing it with plumbing, and I have found that I personally can't live without that supplementation being from someone I'm close to. 
• Urban backpacking: I love this one, and I want to say I just made it up, but I've probably heard it somewhere before. It's like the phenomenon of buying a Nalgene but never planning to use it camping, or owning all Patagonia but having no desire to leave the comfort of the city. I have a tent in my backseat and lots of outdoorsy gear, but I haven't really used it in the woods as of yet this summer. I do plan on finding some campsites to sleep in later on, capitalizing on the outdoorsy possibilities that not having a permanent home can afford me. I am also thinking that "urban backpacking" is like the American version of "backpacking around Europe," which I've never done. Until now.

Well, I am going to go back to my current existence as a vagrant. I leave you with an image that you can go ahead and ingrain in your head in place of whatever picture of me is currently in there. It's what showed up when I googled "living out of your car."

(Best Week Ever)

Catching the Bouquet

 Here is the deal. If you are a single woman attending a wedding, there will come a moment when everybody else in the room decides it would be a grand idea to make you and your fellow "not-with-it-enough-to-have-a-man" counterparts gather in the middle of the room so they can taunt and jeer at you while you act like a fool to get your hands on a superstitious get-out-of-singlehood-free card. It's this point in the wedding when Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies" starts running through your head much like a haunting circus theme that only comes on in the types of movies I'm too wussy to watch.

Now I, for one, tend to come alive when I feel like I'm on stage, so I pretend like it is a game or performance as some sort of a coping mechanism. I have come back with my fair share of bouquets, so I decided to share with you some steps to catching the bouquet.

1. You have to want it. This is the most influential piece to your acquisition of the flowers. Nobody really thinks about it or cares about it that much, so if you decide you want it, the bouquet is as good as yours.
2. Don't be afraid to look crazy. Most girls, when forced to stand in a clump of their peers with a huge blinking arrow sign above that says "HEY YOU BOYS, I'M SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE", will try to maintain some sort of poise. The dedication to sacrifice that femininity so that you can get your hands on the prize will get you pretty far.*
3. Stand in the front and make a lot of noise. These girls are trying to look innocent and cute, so if you stand in front of everybody and push them out of the way, they will be so confused that they will back away.
4. Also, wear heels. Add height, can be used as a weapon... crucial tool.
5. Feel out the wedding/group of girls. Are they all deathly afraid of the flowers? Do they want it as much as you? Are they a bunch of wimps? Will they literally eat you alive if you take away their one chance to dance with a single man (the garter catcher)? This will help you to gauge your necessary level of intensity.
6. Don't just stare at the thing, grab it. I've caught my fair share of bouquets, and most of them were times when I literally just picked it up off the ground. One time the bride's toss was too short, and we all stared at the thing like it contained the Ebola virus. It suddendly donned on me that this bouquet would lie there infinitely if I didn't grab it, so I took charge. Another bouquet was acquired when it somehow managed to make it past the initial barrage of man-hungry hands and fall to the floor. Without having to be involved in the mess, I simply reached down and claimed my prize.
7. Don't be too obvious. Yes, my friends have purposefully held down my hands just so I wouldn't catch the bouquet. I was so confused that I just let it happen, but I will from this point on be on my guard.
8. Never give up. Fight to the bitter end. This applies to all areas of your life as well.

I hope these tips will prove useful to you single ladies out there who might have to face the music one day. For your entertainment, I have included a few pictures of past bouquet tosses at weddings I've attended.

"what?! she's throwing the bouquet from the balcony?!?!?" 

Nancy & Jonathan, 5/28/11

My dedication was outdone by my own flesh and blood.

Kelly & Jimmy, 12/19/10

Those are faces of determination and desire. (Lisa's [center] own wedding is this summer, so she will be out of the running in the future)

Chris & Missy, 10/9/09

*It occurs to me that catching the bouquet is supposed to mean that you are the next to get married, but the girls who maintain their dignity in front of this crowd are probably 10x more likely to actually get a boyfie. Ironic. (Right? Thanks to Alanis, I'm fuzzy as to when to use the word)

Taking a Breather

 *there are pics at the end of this post if you wanna just skip the words and see pics*

(as a blog reader myself, i'm just lookin out for you. also i get kinda philosophical towards the end if that sounds interesting to you)

update: Since all I ever want to do is post e.e. cummings poems on this blog, I resist the urge to even post. All other creative juices are sucked out by my lack of time to even eat a proper meal, and I am left with no motivation to write a blog. But the idea is so enticing! Musing is one of my very favorite pastimes. I think without an outlet like this, I just end up boring and/or weirding out my friends.  With that, I would like to gladly announce that I am on spring break, and what a break it is. With time to breathe, the likelihood of this blog being something worth reading has shot through the roof, not unlike the amount of sleep I am gifted with this week.

preview: Things to look forward to this summer: musings about weddings, perhaps the evolution of this blog into a wedding blog unlike any other... from the perspective of the attendant, since I will be a professional wedding guest this summer. Let's just say I should probably learn the dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies" so that I might entertain all those watching the spectacle that is the bouquet toss, while also using some ninja moves to procure all 8 bouquets.

the real post: This week I've been helping out at Union Independent School here in Durham. They are a year-round school, so they are currently "tracked out" (i think that's what they call it... sounds a little like cracked out, which could be just as likely here in durham... is that bad to say?). This week they are putting on a camp for the lil chillins so they aren't bored to tears. We've had a ball so far, partaking in all that the Bull City can offer. We walked/took a city bus to the Durham Bulls game, where our time was filled with "dance breaks" and home runs, which are especially exciting because smoke comes out of the bull's nose! (You kinda have to already know what I'm talking about to picture it.) Today was probably my favorite, because we got to go to the Scrap Exchange and hang out in the Durham Central Park. And that brings me to the thought I wanted to muse on that brought this whole post into being: Imagination.

Being in the Scrap Exchange was like a magical transportation into the inner workings of an imagination. You walk into a room that is lined with barrels full of delightfully organized scraps of what originally looks like well-sorted trash. You are a little overwhelmed and skeptical. But with Devandra Banhart on in the background and projects hanging from any and all wall space, you start to sink into the core of your imagination and sit there for a while to see what comes out. It is stressful at first-- the free reign to create legitimately anything your heart desires. But then, you settle in and it blossoms. I found my niche as a frilly accessory maker, coming out with headbands made from plastic flowers and what I can only assume were discarded elastics for underwear from some clothing factory. By the end, the girls were fairy princesses and the boys were civil war soldiers, waging an epic battle complete with shields and helmets. The time flew as all of us... both the 6-year-olds and the 28-year-olds threw off the shackles of standards/objectives/rules and just created. It was glorious.

But there is something about imaginative creations that seem so silly out of context. Inside that room, we were princesses, good guys, and bad guys. An old CD was an axe, a flava-flav necklace, a shield. All that junk serves a purpose and is necessary to exist inside of those four walls. But then you leave, and eat lunch or something, then look down at your pile of stuff and a little bit of the magic is gone. What was a ferocious shield is now just 4 CD jewel cases barely held together by masking tape. You're not a princess, you just have a bunch of plastic flowers taped to a cup. By the time you walk it all home, you are left with a less-shiny version of something that just doesn't make sense in the "real" world. I think the beauty of childhood is that that magic veneer doesn't really wear off as quickly as when you're an adult. Everything's a little more enchanting, all parts of the world are a little bit mixed in with imagination. I like to think of it as part of my job as an educator/future-mom to create those spaces so that kids don't have to take off the rose-colored imagination glasses and can live in the blissful oblivious world of imagination for as long as they want. Really, I think I'm probably still there in a lot of ways.

the chillins outside the scrap exchange gettin ready to create! 

dj headphones... definitely one of my favorite creations 

lil chica sporting fairy wings, headband, fairy wand, and flava-flav style necklace/medal 

the epic battle for which there was so much preparation and so little actual battling. i think this captures some of the magic, but it really can't be captured.

Spring

 e.e. cummings knows spring, by golly. and spring has certainly sprung here in Durham. here's another poem.  (it is best read when sitting in a field with the sun shining on your face):

now winging selves sing sweetly,while ghosts(there

and here)of snow cringe;dazed an earth shakes sleep

out of her brightening mind:now everywhere

space tastes of the amazement which is hope

gone are those hugest hours of dark and cold

when blood and flesh to inexistence bow

(all that was doubtful's certain,timid's bold;

old's youthful and reluctant's eager now)

anywhere upward somethings yearn and stir

piercing a tangled wrack of wishless known:

nothing is like this keen(who breathes us)air

immortal with the fragrance of begin

winter is over--now(for me and you,

darling!)life's star prances the blinding blue

-e.e. cummings

Board Tweets

 Twitter is sweeping the RHS nation. Well, let me re-phrase that. Twitter has already swept the RHS nation, but now it is seeping into the teacher world. I have had a regular twitter (@refvemma) for a while, but I decided that my teacher alter-ego needed one to keep up with the kiddies (@msrefvem). Really, it's for the kiddies to keep up with me. I can tweet interesting stuff from the web or reminders about homework or announcements about how many fish have died (i'm working on a post about the epic saga of animals that call room 222 home, stay tuned...).

All that to say, we tend to talk in twitter lingo sometimes in class. I had a kid answer a question on a test something to the effect of "We need to save biodiversity so that it can provide ecosystem services and the environment can last for future generations. #swag"... For those of you who are less up to twitter speed, that is a hash tag. And a student wrote a hash tag at the end of a test answer. I gave him some "lol points" for that one.

On Friday, we had some green pancakes and bacon in Ms. Hunter's AP Bio class, about which some tweet-ers in the class tried to start a trending topic: #apbiobaconswag. Much discussion of hataz (those who hate) also came up during breakfast.

Ms. Hunter (@mikajhunter) gettin her green pancake/sunglass/rollpiratesroll swag on


Since Ms. Hunter and I have so much fun talkin bout hataz, I googled "hater quotes." (side note: i HIGHLY recommend googling hater quotes. it will entertain you. clearly there are a lot of drama queens trying to fill up their facebook profile "about me" sections, and someone has found and filled in that internet niche). I came up with some great ones, enough to inspire my "quote of the day/week/whenever-i-feel-like-changing-the-quote." While writing it, I was encouraged by my 4th period to write it in ghetto twitter/txt lingo. Here is the result:

Some more "board tweets" for your enjoyment:

(this next one is not necessarily a tweet, but a reaction to Food, Inc. which we were watching in APES. Born out of a sad joke about making baby chicks straight into nuggets.)

It will be interesting to see how this whole twitter thing evolves... follow me if you dare! @msrefvem

Spring Fever

Today I really felt like myself, and I'm not sure why, or if that even makes sense since technically I am myself every day, but I liked it!! I got a little sassy with my students, and by that I mean that I am getting more assertive as the days go on and it's a good thing. Part of my wonderful day had to be the weather, while the other part of it was that I got to chill in my favs outfit. I wore chacos, carhartts, and a light thermal shirt, set off by my default earrings, a headband, and a low bun. If that's not a typical spring Emma outfit, then I don't know what is. I also did laundry at the laundromat while jamming out to some new songs, squeezing in some grading during the wait times. So productive and college of me! By the time I got to community group, I was so hopped up on caffeine and spring that I couldn't contain myself! I can't get over this weather. I just wish every day could be like today. I'm drinking it in and it's only February. I surely hope I won't retreat back into my winter hole once it gets cold again, because I simply cannot deal with that!

Because I have spring fever and I love my outfit so much, I will leave you with a picture of daffodils and some poetry from e.e. cummings. Nothing says spring like poems and DAFFODILS!!!

in Just-

spring      when the world is mud-

luscious the little

lame balloonman

whistles       far       and wee

and eddieandbill come

running from marbles and

piracies and it's

spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer

old balloonman whistles

far          and         wee

and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's

spring

and

       the

             goat-footed

balloonMan         whistles

far

and

wee 

LOL Points: N-Cycle Edition

 In APES (AP Environmental Science), you have to learn about the nitrogen cycle. Really, you just have to learn that nitrogen cycles through the ecosystem. It is vaguely important to know how nitrogen switches forms so that we humans can get it into our lovely tissues to make DNA and survive and all that, but the test writers really really want you to know how to identify all the steps.

Last semester, I did a particularly horrible job of imparting this knowledge to my students. This semester, with the help of some good ol' fashioned arts and crafts, topped off with the ever-present motivation of earning lol points for making me chuckle, those kids learned them some N-cycle. These two particularly exemplary students went above and beyond to impress me, and now hopefully you as well, with their wit. Maybe you will learn something about how nitrogen gets from being an inert gas in the air to making up the base of your genetic code!

artist one: will h.

artist 2: josh a.

I had a blog in high school...

 And now I teach high school. It's only fair.

I am trying this out again, for reals this time. I promise it won't be too mushy. That's about all I can promise.

And now, to add some bittersweet to your Monday, some Neutral Milk Hotel.

"And one day we will die

And our ashes will fly 

from the aeroplane over the sea

But for now we are young

Let us lay in the sun

And count every beautiful thing we can see

Love to be

In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me, me"