My little home for the next eight Tuesdays! I'm excited to learn a new craft skill (weaving) but this time with the guidance of a teacher and the structure of a class (instead of teaching myself). I think I might like this! If I do, I'd be following the footsteps of my mom's grandfather and aunt, and I think that would be really cool.
Still not over the eclipse y'all... I know the pictures all look the same but this was something that just has to be experienced in person. I was really overwhelmed. A teacher at school asked me why it was overwhelming and I had a hard time pinpointing it. That seeing the sun and the moon at the same time interacting kinda made me lose my mental footing as if I realized for the first time we are on a tiny little globe hurtling around with other globes & stuff all around space??? Or that it was just so beautiful to see something I've literally never seen before hanging up in the middle of the sky??? That it universally caused people to exclaim in awe, reminding me that nature is a language and spirit that can impact any & everybody with this sense of grandeur???? It's hard to think we are just plopped down here with no souls or no spirit... I think when seeing this sight I just tapped into the spiritual river that is flowing all around but hard to access sometimes in the humdrum day-to-day stuff. Like when I went to church after the election and the songs filled me with such a sense of the holy spirit & hope- that the fight against oppression was not new and this body of people has a language to talk about this hurt and songs to sing about this hurt and tools to affirm the humanity of all people in the face of such evil. Maybe it's this sense of timelessness that knocks me down but also grounds me? Idk but this feeling will be with me for a long time.
Thank you to everyone who reached out to comfort me in my beginning of school despair!! I have been able to process things a lot more to isolate exactly why I am feeling these things & how to redirect to feel better things!!! It's easy for me to forget to do this type of thinking bc it doesn't come naturally, but that's why I have friends like y'all to help me!!!! • • • I went in to school today even though we aren't supposed to start til Thursday... I just knew I'd get stressed & want to talk to everyone and not feel like I got anything done. Though not many people were at school I still managed to spend a lot of the day talking lol... I'm now starting to get that excited feeling again!!! I'm glad to have my space back so now I can get back into my routine. Xoxoxo
School is about to start and I'm feeling honestly not great. I've been trying to push down feelings of depression since August hit, and it's making me feel all out of sorts. I didn't think about school hardly at all this summer, rather focused on reading and getting the house in order and thinking about the wedding. But now that I have to face school again I'm just filled with such dread. I feel disconnected from my teacher self after such a hard semester last spring, and I feel like I've lost my footing a little bit. I keep comparing myself to teachers on the internet and it ends up making me a combination of sad and mad. I want to not compare, I want to feel confident again, but it is hard! I want to claim my uniqueness like I worked hard to do last year, but something is off right now and I can't quite figure it out. I might just need to take some meditative days to get my mind right in this next week. Oh, also I'm going to take a weaving on a floor loom class this fall so maybe I will like it and it will give me some meditative space. We can only hope!!! (But seriously if you could pray for peace for me that would be awesome xoxoxo)
