"With eyes wide open to the mercies of God, I beg you, my brothers, as an act of intelligent worship, to give him your bodies, as a living sacrifice, consecrated to him and acceptable by him. Don't let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould, but let God remake you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed."
- Romans 12:1-3 (J.B. Phillips translation)
This was at the center of Cleve's talk at quest tonight, and it really hit home for me, especially now. A ton of things have been going on-- things are swirling around in my head and I'm having a hard time sorting them out. I've come to a few resolutions, and I am going to state them (or at least one) here.
My blog has strayed from its usual emotional connectedness. I avoid the deep, hard topics in favor of lighthearted ones that are easier to write. I want to go back to being true and forgetting my audience.
I don't like thinking about dating. I am not the dating type. I don't like knowing what is going on in other people's romantic lives. It depresses the hell out of me. I am more the marriage type. I know this will probably be hard to understand, but I don't think that I would want to date any guys at the maturity level which my peers are experiencing. I am not the "hooking up" kind of girl. I don't even know what that entails. So until boys stop searching for a "hook up," I will be enjoying my life without all the shallow drama. I want love, not lust. I am not made for lust. Nobody is, really. I just think that I want to be out of the relationship loop until the maturity level is right. It will give me so much time to focus on much more rewarding and fulfilling things. Dating is not where I find my fulfillment. That is not to say that I regret my dating past. I don't at all. If anything, it helped me a lot with my viewpoint. I don't have any regrets in my life at all up to this point, and that is something I'm proud of.
It's a really great thing when walls break down between friends and you can sit down and talk about true things to each other because you have trust in each other and just honestly need to share thoughts. It is quite liberating. A talk such as this led me to part of my previous semi-epiphany.
I'm not allowing comments so you guys can let my words and only my words soak in so you get the whole meaning from me.