Was a good movie. I saw it with mom and dad tonight, instead of hanging out with MA friends. It seems that tonight was not my night for getting in touch with anyone my age in MA. Emmy is here in MA and I get to see her tomorrow! Yay!
I get jealous a lot. It's weird, and it's not an outright jealousy, it just lingers there-- like my random insecurities breed it or something. Most of the time I'm logical and can think things through and I forget my insecure thoughts, but late at night, they get blown out of proportion.
Right now, I just need to focus on thanking God for the wonderful new friends I have at Carolina that I am bonding with and whom I love so very much. I just start thinking that maybe people don't love me, but then I remember that of course they do. I wish I wasn't so hung up on getting satisfaction from all that. If there's one thing that I want to take from Passion, it is that I need to stop looking to people to fill the holes that He should be filling, you know? Passion has got me talking all "religious" and stuff, but I kinda like it. I feel weird integrating it into my language sometimes, like it's too cheezy or something, but really, it's a part of my thoughts and that's what this thing is for anyway-- my thoughts. Haha, I'm getting defensive about my thoughts to myself... weird how I do that sometimes.
Oh yeah-- I forgot to explain what Passion is! It was a conference in Nashville that was so amazing. We worshipped, heard speakers, met in small groups, went to breakout sessions, and grew and revitalized our faith a little bit. I went with Stephanie and Julia and Abby, and it was so much fun. Tay Ray Pony was there, too, but I didn't see him a ton b/c he was with a different group and in a different hotel. My favorite thing, if I had to choose, was the worship. 18,000 people in one place all praising God is pretty amazing.
So I had fun, and I am happy, and my goal is to stop being so insecure at night. (If you've been following my blog, I think you might've noticed a trend that the insecure stuff happens at night and when I have too much time for introspection )
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