Thursday, May 15, 2008

change

There's nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
-Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom

Looking back on this blog, it is really pronounced how much I have changed. I no longer need this blog to process my life. I guess it comes along with getting older, but I've found that I am not as dependent on what other people think as before. Don't get me wrong, I am still definitely aware of other people's opinions on my life, but I am becoming who I am, and I'm doing it by myself.

It is hard to look back on this blog. It is hard to look back and see where I was when I wrote those posts. I want to go back and tell younger Emma how to live and how to act and what to write! I have not noticed specific changes, but now I can see that they are there. I can't articulate these changes... that hasn't changed! I have a problem pinning down exactly what I feel, because I think it's too much for words. It's hard to know that while I am different, I am still everything that I was before. I'm still these words. I'm still that annoying high schooler. It is a part of me, but it doesn't define everything that I am. 

My goal (make it a mid-year's resolution) is to live life. Live fully, live richly, and take it all in. I don't want to let my life pass me by. I'm almost 21! I'm entering this new phase of my life where I've been given all kinds of instructions on how to live this life and now I get to go out and live it. Crazy!

So I thought when I started this blog that I wanted to keep doing it, but I almost want to stop it here and let it live on as what it was. I need some sort of closure, so I feel like this is as good a time as any. It's really the end for this blog.

Au revoir!

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