Instead of a black dot, I know have an incision scab and 3 stitches! That's right, Dad took it out last Sunday in his office. After some numbing shots and realizations that he wasn't cutting muscle, the thing is out. Maybe it's pencil lead? Maybe it's something else? Only pathology will tell.
In other news, I've found that I try to find satisfaction in other people and it leaves me empty and overanalizing everything like I always do. I find satisfaction when people like me and so I get nervous when I do something that people may think is "awkward" and think I'm weird. So if I recognize that I'm being awkward, maybe it won't be as bad. I dunno. And also, I think I can find satisfaction in my family whom I love, but I can only see them every once in a while and that's not enough to fill me. The only thing that works well enough to fill me is Jesus. I can't fill myself with anything else that will be worth my time. And it is a good realization. He has plans for me so I don't have to worry about filling those plans myself. Like, I don't have to worry about boys because it will happen! I don't have to worry about what people think because that's not what ultimately matters. Also, I can be honest because the truth is true and I'm not making anybody love me more by bending it or trying to hide things.
I know that's weird and the audience of this blog basically doesn't exist, but I just wanted to process it on here. There's a lot of my personality in this blog and it kindof makes me happy. So I added one more story to look back on in the future. Hmm.
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