Instead of a black dot, I know have an incision scab and 3 stitches! That's right, Dad took it out last Sunday in his office. After some numbing shots and realizations that he wasn't cutting muscle, the thing is out. Maybe it's pencil lead? Maybe it's something else? Only pathology will tell.
In other news, I've found that I try to find satisfaction in other people and it leaves me empty and overanalizing everything like I always do. I find satisfaction when people like me and so I get nervous when I do something that people may think is "awkward" and think I'm weird. So if I recognize that I'm being awkward, maybe it won't be as bad. I dunno. And also, I think I can find satisfaction in my family whom I love, but I can only see them every once in a while and that's not enough to fill me. The only thing that works well enough to fill me is Jesus. I can't fill myself with anything else that will be worth my time. And it is a good realization. He has plans for me so I don't have to worry about filling those plans myself. Like, I don't have to worry about boys because it will happen! I don't have to worry about what people think because that's not what ultimately matters. Also, I can be honest because the truth is true and I'm not making anybody love me more by bending it or trying to hide things.
I know that's weird and the audience of this blog basically doesn't exist, but I just wanted to process it on here. There's a lot of my personality in this blog and it kindof makes me happy. So I added one more story to look back on in the future. Hmm.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
college
About that black dot on my arm-- I cancelled the appointment because Dad said he could get it out for free. Yay for connections at the hospital! Except I will have to remain in suspense as to the identity of this dot for a while longer.
So here I sit, done with my allotted homework for the day (which I so meticulously planned out yesterday so as to not get ridiculously stressed out), thinking about how this week is like the precurser to the hell that will be next week. I have a lab to do, some physics and chinese homework, a Chinese vocab quiz and test all this week. That's like mini hell week because I can at least give myself some free time between homework sessions. I also have random appointments which make me annoyed because I don't have as much time to sit around and do the work, and I have to walk extra places. Next week, however, I have three tests, two homeworks and a lab due. What? It doesn't hurt that the 3 tests are in subjects in which I feel ridiculously lost. Physics is okay except the problems are really hard and I can't get my mind to wrap around them. Math is hard because the teacher is french and talks really fast and doesn't really give thorough examples. So when it comes to problem solving (in both classes), I'm lost. Also, speaking of problem solving, I don't pay attention in Geomorphology. I mean, I do, but the teacher has a boring voice and I find myself doing the Sudoku from the newspaper (because the crossword just makes me mad usually). So I have a worksheet due and a test on Monday in that. Hopefully I'll be able to get somewhere with studying over the weekend. Basically, next week will be a lot of work. But hopefully I'll get to go home afterwards and deal with the fact that I might not be as good at College as I was at High School and in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter at all. I'm going to be a High School teacher and love life and be an environmentally conscious parent and citizen. And, who are we kidding, I'm going to graduate college. Duh. I'm not that bad at school.
So, yeah. That's what life is looking like right now. In other news, I'm getting a haircut on Wednesday. My hair all of a sudden got really long. I don't know how it happened. But it is gross on the ends and needs to be taken care of. So I'm getting it cut at Aveda by a student I think, because it's a school... hopefully they won't try to do something crazy trendy because I just can't handle that. I just want my side bangs to make a comeback and for my hair not to do weird curly things at the end. We'll see. Right now I have my hair in pigtail french braids and they look like the best I've ever given myself. I used bobby pins for the first time in my french braiding career, and what a difference they make! I don't have crazy bumps hanging out... they look very together. Not too tight, not too lose, juuuuuust right. So I think I'm gonna chill out and watch TV while looking over some Chinese stuff. Sounds like a plan!
So here I sit, done with my allotted homework for the day (which I so meticulously planned out yesterday so as to not get ridiculously stressed out), thinking about how this week is like the precurser to the hell that will be next week. I have a lab to do, some physics and chinese homework, a Chinese vocab quiz and test all this week. That's like mini hell week because I can at least give myself some free time between homework sessions. I also have random appointments which make me annoyed because I don't have as much time to sit around and do the work, and I have to walk extra places. Next week, however, I have three tests, two homeworks and a lab due. What? It doesn't hurt that the 3 tests are in subjects in which I feel ridiculously lost. Physics is okay except the problems are really hard and I can't get my mind to wrap around them. Math is hard because the teacher is french and talks really fast and doesn't really give thorough examples. So when it comes to problem solving (in both classes), I'm lost. Also, speaking of problem solving, I don't pay attention in Geomorphology. I mean, I do, but the teacher has a boring voice and I find myself doing the Sudoku from the newspaper (because the crossword just makes me mad usually). So I have a worksheet due and a test on Monday in that. Hopefully I'll be able to get somewhere with studying over the weekend. Basically, next week will be a lot of work. But hopefully I'll get to go home afterwards and deal with the fact that I might not be as good at College as I was at High School and in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter at all. I'm going to be a High School teacher and love life and be an environmentally conscious parent and citizen. And, who are we kidding, I'm going to graduate college. Duh. I'm not that bad at school.
So, yeah. That's what life is looking like right now. In other news, I'm getting a haircut on Wednesday. My hair all of a sudden got really long. I don't know how it happened. But it is gross on the ends and needs to be taken care of. So I'm getting it cut at Aveda by a student I think, because it's a school... hopefully they won't try to do something crazy trendy because I just can't handle that. I just want my side bangs to make a comeback and for my hair not to do weird curly things at the end. We'll see. Right now I have my hair in pigtail french braids and they look like the best I've ever given myself. I used bobby pins for the first time in my french braiding career, and what a difference they make! I don't have crazy bumps hanging out... they look very together. Not too tight, not too lose, juuuuuust right. So I think I'm gonna chill out and watch TV while looking over some Chinese stuff. Sounds like a plan!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
the saga of the black spot
Ok. So I have this thing on my right arm, located in the skin near the elbow on the anterior side. I don't know what it is, exactly, so i just call it a black dot. I've had it for years and years. Just recently, people have convinced me to fiddle with it and try and see if I can scratch it out, but I just can't and now it looks different. I decided to go to the doctor to see what it actually is. He didn't know. What he did know whas that "Due to the size and color, it needs to come out." Yay! They will send it off to figure out what it is, exactly, after a small biopsy. "Biopsy?" you say? Yes, Biopsy. Under some sort of anesthesia, they will do a "puncy biopsy" where they punch a razor into my skin and dig out the black dot. Sounds... delightful? Maybe not.
I've grown to love this black dot. It is quite the conversation starter. "What is that black spot on your arm, did you get stabbed by a pencil?" It works in all situations. Also, I just love it. It's like a little mystery on my body. Too bad it's the kind of mystery that is a potential health threat. I am excited, however, to finally figure out what it is. I kinda hope it's bad so that I'll feel better about having had it taken out.
So, anyway, I'll keep you updated once the results come back as to what exactly this thingy really is.
I've grown to love this black dot. It is quite the conversation starter. "What is that black spot on your arm, did you get stabbed by a pencil?" It works in all situations. Also, I just love it. It's like a little mystery on my body. Too bad it's the kind of mystery that is a potential health threat. I am excited, however, to finally figure out what it is. I kinda hope it's bad so that I'll feel better about having had it taken out.
So, anyway, I'll keep you updated once the results come back as to what exactly this thingy really is.
Monday, September 04, 2006
what? a post?
Guess what I haven't done in a while? Blogged. I took a respite. It seems that this is the way I've processed things that have happened in my life for the past 3 or so years. When things happened, I wrote them in here so that the thoughts would be somewhere. When I was bored, I excercised my brain and wrote silly stories or used creative language to tella bout goings on in my life. Now it seems that I either don't have time or have so many people in my life that I tell things to that I don't need this blog anymore. But I love it! I love the feeling of writing to an ambiguous audience that may or may not exist. I like telling stories and being silly and writing. I think that this blog has affected my writing style significantly. I write freely and informally, which may or may not be a good thing. Either way, I think it might be high time to bring this puppy back into high gear. I have extra time these days, what with a mere 14 hour schedule with everything done by 2. Also, the curse of Chem Lab is over and now I've made the step down to Physics Lab (which may or may not be a step down... that has yet to be decided). So hows about an update in my life? Nah, that's boring. I am in college, being a YL leader at northwood, and doing homework a lot. C'est La Vie! I love life right about now, with all of it's awkward, depressing, joyful, hilarious, and random moments. Right now, I'm about to watch some more Law and Order SVU and then get things on track. I'll be back!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
make new friends, but keep the old...
...one is silver and the other gold! and they're both amazing!!!
I just got back from a meeting with YL at Rasberry Ridge where we sent off our seniors with much ado and many repetitions of Philipians 1:3-6. At the end of it all, we took a picture of the freshman and a comment by one Greg Salazar summed up my adoration for all of them: "You guys roll so deep. You're obsessed!" It's true. I'm obsessed with these kids. I don't want to go places without them. I don't know what my freshman year would've been like without them. I remember being so awkward at the beginning of college, trying out all the different clubs just to see where I would fit. I always prayed that I would find a close knit group of friends who shared my beliefs and with whom I could have a ton of fun. Little did I know that soon enough I would have those wonderful people in my life to such an amazing degree. I have to admit, when it didn't happen almost instantly, I got depressed and thought I'd never find friends. But then College Life happened. And Windy Gap Work Crew happened. And when WG happened again, I knew I'd found them. My loves for life! I was thinking about how I wonder what it will be like when we graduate, and then I started thinking that we have 3 whole entire more years to spend with each other! I have (at least) 3 more years to get established at this High School and spend my time loving high schoolers and having a lot of fun. I have 3 more years to have amazing experiences with these people who I know will be my friends forever.
I really wanted a close group of girl friends. I had Nan and Ash and Audra in high school (and oh how i still love them!), but I knew I wanted a solid group of girls that I can be friends with forever and about whom I can say "I met them in college and we knew we would be friends for life!" And now they're here. And I love them. All of them. It is better than I even imagined when I asked for it.
And not to mention my surrogate suite. I love to hang out with them and they have been way better than my actual suite. (who i never talk to... ever) They are tons of fun!
I also have all of my Cheerio friends. Liles and I have grown so close, mainly because we live so close. It's amazing and I love her and we will be on the same porch this summer at Cheerio and we will LOVE it! And I've gotten to chill with Shmimmy in Chinese and bond about how much we regret the fact that we took such a ridiculous language just to fill our requirement. We may laugh about it later, and we even laugh about it now, but that's mainly to distract ourselves from the fact that we are not that great at Chinese. But at least it's fun!
And then there's the MA crowd. I've grown so close to them. There are 4 of us who became leaders, and we're infamous around the YL crowd. "I'm from Mt. Airy" "Oh, you're one of those..." hahaha. But I really do love them. We love each other and have fun together and love the same things and can hang out when we're in MA as well as when we're at college. It's going to be a fun future with those guys and girls too.
Yay! I just love my friends. I thought I'd share that with my blogging audience. It's been quite a good year! mmmm yay.
I just got back from a meeting with YL at Rasberry Ridge where we sent off our seniors with much ado and many repetitions of Philipians 1:3-6. At the end of it all, we took a picture of the freshman and a comment by one Greg Salazar summed up my adoration for all of them: "You guys roll so deep. You're obsessed!" It's true. I'm obsessed with these kids. I don't want to go places without them. I don't know what my freshman year would've been like without them. I remember being so awkward at the beginning of college, trying out all the different clubs just to see where I would fit. I always prayed that I would find a close knit group of friends who shared my beliefs and with whom I could have a ton of fun. Little did I know that soon enough I would have those wonderful people in my life to such an amazing degree. I have to admit, when it didn't happen almost instantly, I got depressed and thought I'd never find friends. But then College Life happened. And Windy Gap Work Crew happened. And when WG happened again, I knew I'd found them. My loves for life! I was thinking about how I wonder what it will be like when we graduate, and then I started thinking that we have 3 whole entire more years to spend with each other! I have (at least) 3 more years to get established at this High School and spend my time loving high schoolers and having a lot of fun. I have 3 more years to have amazing experiences with these people who I know will be my friends forever.
I really wanted a close group of girl friends. I had Nan and Ash and Audra in high school (and oh how i still love them!), but I knew I wanted a solid group of girls that I can be friends with forever and about whom I can say "I met them in college and we knew we would be friends for life!" And now they're here. And I love them. All of them. It is better than I even imagined when I asked for it.
And not to mention my surrogate suite. I love to hang out with them and they have been way better than my actual suite. (who i never talk to... ever) They are tons of fun!
I also have all of my Cheerio friends. Liles and I have grown so close, mainly because we live so close. It's amazing and I love her and we will be on the same porch this summer at Cheerio and we will LOVE it! And I've gotten to chill with Shmimmy in Chinese and bond about how much we regret the fact that we took such a ridiculous language just to fill our requirement. We may laugh about it later, and we even laugh about it now, but that's mainly to distract ourselves from the fact that we are not that great at Chinese. But at least it's fun!
And then there's the MA crowd. I've grown so close to them. There are 4 of us who became leaders, and we're infamous around the YL crowd. "I'm from Mt. Airy" "Oh, you're one of those..." hahaha. But I really do love them. We love each other and have fun together and love the same things and can hang out when we're in MA as well as when we're at college. It's going to be a fun future with those guys and girls too.
Yay! I just love my friends. I thought I'd share that with my blogging audience. It's been quite a good year! mmmm yay.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Tay Ray Pony came to visit this weekend, and it made me happy! I like to hang out with my high school friends because they are just the coolest. Next weekend I am going home, and it will be a much needed break. I've just been so tired lately, so I will be happy to just chill at home and do nothing.
I am in such a good mood this weekend! I think it's because YL things are finally starting. Tonight is the banquet where we find out where we are placed... and that's just plain exciting. I think another contributor to the good mood is that I've gotten to just hang out and chill this weekend and get some work done and do some laundry and just get settled in. My room is finally cleared of the clothes that have been lying around since getting back from spring break.
Well, there's nothing I really wanted to say, I'm still getting back in the habit of writing in here. I'll keep you posted on where I get placed and what we do with all that later.
I am in such a good mood this weekend! I think it's because YL things are finally starting. Tonight is the banquet where we find out where we are placed... and that's just plain exciting. I think another contributor to the good mood is that I've gotten to just hang out and chill this weekend and get some work done and do some laundry and just get settled in. My room is finally cleared of the clothes that have been lying around since getting back from spring break.
Well, there's nothing I really wanted to say, I'm still getting back in the habit of writing in here. I'll keep you posted on where I get placed and what we do with all that later.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
told you i'd be back!
I've obtained some recent addictions, and I just thought I'd share them with you, as the audience of this blog.
First: The Daily Tar Heel (DTH) crossword puzzle. I started off being horribly bad at them, but am improving quite well. Apparently that might have something to do with a new source for the puzzles, but still. I like to think it is because my vocabulary is expanding and I am training that side of my brain to work well. It gives me something to do during boring parts of classes... time that used to be spent writing my name in as many different styles as possible. Now I direct my bored energy to the small square boxes, and end up either feeling really good about myself or ridiculously stupid. Most of the time stupid, but what can you do.
Second: Sudoku puzzles. They are along the lines of crossword puzzles, but they require no vocabulary knowledge, only logical reasoning. I kind of like that, when I want to work a little different part of my brain. They are great for airplane travel, as I found out during my 15 (or so) hours spent either in an airplane or airport this spring break.
Third: Fruit snacks. Gushers are number one on my list of favorite fruit snacks, Wal*Mart generic brand "Fruit Smiles" are second, closely followed by Disney themed snacks, which could be tied with Fruit Roll-Ups and Fruit by the Foots. I got some Spongebob snacks hoping they would be as good, but they aren't. They're actually the grossest things I've ever tasted. But you win some you lose some, I say. The only drawback of Fruit Snacks is that they are packaged for little kids, and therefore come in smaller portions. I would appreciate a slightly larger portion, but not double or anything. That's way too much for me. I don't want to get sick of them or anything, I just want to partake of their fruity goodness to a somewhat greater degree.
First: The Daily Tar Heel (DTH) crossword puzzle. I started off being horribly bad at them, but am improving quite well. Apparently that might have something to do with a new source for the puzzles, but still. I like to think it is because my vocabulary is expanding and I am training that side of my brain to work well. It gives me something to do during boring parts of classes... time that used to be spent writing my name in as many different styles as possible. Now I direct my bored energy to the small square boxes, and end up either feeling really good about myself or ridiculously stupid. Most of the time stupid, but what can you do.
Second: Sudoku puzzles. They are along the lines of crossword puzzles, but they require no vocabulary knowledge, only logical reasoning. I kind of like that, when I want to work a little different part of my brain. They are great for airplane travel, as I found out during my 15 (or so) hours spent either in an airplane or airport this spring break.
Third: Fruit snacks. Gushers are number one on my list of favorite fruit snacks, Wal*Mart generic brand "Fruit Smiles" are second, closely followed by Disney themed snacks, which could be tied with Fruit Roll-Ups and Fruit by the Foots. I got some Spongebob snacks hoping they would be as good, but they aren't. They're actually the grossest things I've ever tasted. But you win some you lose some, I say. The only drawback of Fruit Snacks is that they are packaged for little kids, and therefore come in smaller portions. I would appreciate a slightly larger portion, but not double or anything. That's way too much for me. I don't want to get sick of them or anything, I just want to partake of their fruity goodness to a somewhat greater degree.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
drinking rum punch and riding on open air taxis and having donkeys watch your presentation for class is a fun experience.
Oh boy. Life is too complicated for me to have time to sit down and externally process it as I've been doing with this blog for 3 years now. I like it when I get the chance, but I forget to give myself the chance. Here is a summary of my life:
I just got back from a spring break in St. John with my Enst 57: Coral Reef Ecology class. Snorkelling and (night) SCUBA was amazing. I saw things such as an eagle ray, a brown octopus, a green and purple (color changing!) octopus at night, a sting ray, a turtle... and much more. Now I am close to 52 (or so) new wonderful people and I can't wait to go to class with them all on Thursday! We keep having mini reunions around the pit area of campus, random sightings that turn into mini reunions as more people realize what is going on. It makes my heart happy.
I interviewed to be a YL leader on Tuesday morning, and they tell me on Friday whether I will be a leader, and if I make it past there, they tell me where I am placed on Sunday. It is going to be a ridiculously awesome and crazy time as a YL leader, and I am so excited. YL has been such a blessing this year-- the fellowship, the best friends, the fun times... college wouldn't have been the same without it.
Chem Lab is almost done FOR GOOD and that makes me so happy. Just 2 more reports until I can DELETE data studio from my computer forever.
Hmm... I guess that's all the main stuff. I'm off to go do some chinese translation homework. I really want to start updating this thing more... I'm making it somewhat of a resolution. So you might want to start checking more often!
Zai Jian!
I just got back from a spring break in St. John with my Enst 57: Coral Reef Ecology class. Snorkelling and (night) SCUBA was amazing. I saw things such as an eagle ray, a brown octopus, a green and purple (color changing!) octopus at night, a sting ray, a turtle... and much more. Now I am close to 52 (or so) new wonderful people and I can't wait to go to class with them all on Thursday! We keep having mini reunions around the pit area of campus, random sightings that turn into mini reunions as more people realize what is going on. It makes my heart happy.
I interviewed to be a YL leader on Tuesday morning, and they tell me on Friday whether I will be a leader, and if I make it past there, they tell me where I am placed on Sunday. It is going to be a ridiculously awesome and crazy time as a YL leader, and I am so excited. YL has been such a blessing this year-- the fellowship, the best friends, the fun times... college wouldn't have been the same without it.
Chem Lab is almost done FOR GOOD and that makes me so happy. Just 2 more reports until I can DELETE data studio from my computer forever.
Hmm... I guess that's all the main stuff. I'm off to go do some chinese translation homework. I really want to start updating this thing more... I'm making it somewhat of a resolution. So you might want to start checking more often!
Zai Jian!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... a beautiful day for a neighbor, would you be mine?
So. This is the first Thursday night in a long time that I've felt like I can at least breathe a little bit. Last week was my terrible week, and this week was nice and chill to offset it. I am still recovering, though. My skin has finally stopped freaking out, and I'm starting to catch up on sleep. My roommate was worried about me when I took a really long nap on Monday. I mean it was really long. I keep meaning to take naps, but it's hard to fit them into my schedule. My next hell week will be immediately followed by a trip to the virgin islands, which is definitely worth the pain. That is something I'm really looking forward to.
In other news, today was the reason why I hate winter. 72 degrees? Are you serious?!?!?? Everyone emerged from their cocoons and basked in the gloriousness that is this warm front. Winter is cold and it sucks and everyone stays inside and wears sweatpants and is antisocial. In the spring, however, one can sit outside and read and not be cooped up in a dorm room because it is cold and rainy and windy and stupid outside. I cannot wait for spring/summer. I like to read on the quad. I like to throw a frisbee around. I like to wear shorts and t-shirts and birkenstocks and chacos. It just makes me happy. I am more social when it is warm outside. Chalk it up to seasonal affected depression, or to the fact that I don't tolerate cold very well... but I just absolutely cannot wait. That is why I was sooooo mad at Punxsutawney Phil when he saw his shadow. That kid just needs to get a clue and realize that the world doesn't revolve around him and to just pretend he didn't see his shadow so we can have not six more weeks of winter. Well, too bad this warm front only lasted 2 days. It's going to snow on Saturday. Poop.
I'm excited because I get to go home this weekend and see my family and sleep in my bed and see Ash, whom I haven't seen in FOREVER it feels like, and just chill out. It's going to be superbly awesome.
In other news, today was the reason why I hate winter. 72 degrees? Are you serious?!?!?? Everyone emerged from their cocoons and basked in the gloriousness that is this warm front. Winter is cold and it sucks and everyone stays inside and wears sweatpants and is antisocial. In the spring, however, one can sit outside and read and not be cooped up in a dorm room because it is cold and rainy and windy and stupid outside. I cannot wait for spring/summer. I like to read on the quad. I like to throw a frisbee around. I like to wear shorts and t-shirts and birkenstocks and chacos. It just makes me happy. I am more social when it is warm outside. Chalk it up to seasonal affected depression, or to the fact that I don't tolerate cold very well... but I just absolutely cannot wait. That is why I was sooooo mad at Punxsutawney Phil when he saw his shadow. That kid just needs to get a clue and realize that the world doesn't revolve around him and to just pretend he didn't see his shadow so we can have not six more weeks of winter. Well, too bad this warm front only lasted 2 days. It's going to snow on Saturday. Poop.
I'm excited because I get to go home this weekend and see my family and sleep in my bed and see Ash, whom I haven't seen in FOREVER it feels like, and just chill out. It's going to be superbly awesome.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
This week has been the most stressful week in the history of ever for me. So many assignments and quizzes and tests and no free time... it's been crazy. It will all be over tomorrow after my chem test at 8 and math test at 9. And then it will be friday. and then it will be the weekend. and then i will be able to breathe.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
wed. nes. dayyyyy
Windy Gap was fun and now I am trying to get over how tired and behind I got because of the weekend. I love being friends with those people. They make my life oh so happy. I'm having doubts as to whether or not I'm spiritually ready to be a leader, but we're working on it and I think that when the time rolls around I'll be as ready as I'm ever gonna be.
Chem Lab is so much better this semester with Stuart as opposed to last semester with Adam. Stuart is a kazillion times more laid-back than silly old Adam. I also like having Nan and Julia and Caroline in there to joke around with and make the time go by more quickly. Wednesdays sure are tiring, but they're not as hard to deal with as last semester.
I think I'm finally settled in to college. I thought it came a while back, but now I see that I really wasn't then but am now. I am at a deeper level with all my friends, I'm used to classes and have figured out some sort of workload schedule for myself, and I'm just more relaxed. I like the feeling.
I also like the feeling of not being hooked to so many random television shows. As of right now, I'm hooked on Grey's Anatomy, The Bachelor, and Gilmore Girls. I also like to watch Made (on MTV) a lot because I like to live vicariously through high schoolers. I watch other random MTV shows when they come on when I'm flipping through channels randomly, but I'm not technically "hooked." The Bachelor is my guilty pleasure. I know that they probably won't get married and it's a bad concept and probably chauvinist, but whatever. It's fun to watch. You know what else is fun to watch? Ceaser Milan-- the Dog Whisperer. I can't get enough of that show. I love it so much!!!
Right now, I'm going to watch Spellbound with Stephanie and Julia. It's a documentary about the spelling bee. Yes!!
Chem Lab is so much better this semester with Stuart as opposed to last semester with Adam. Stuart is a kazillion times more laid-back than silly old Adam. I also like having Nan and Julia and Caroline in there to joke around with and make the time go by more quickly. Wednesdays sure are tiring, but they're not as hard to deal with as last semester.
I think I'm finally settled in to college. I thought it came a while back, but now I see that I really wasn't then but am now. I am at a deeper level with all my friends, I'm used to classes and have figured out some sort of workload schedule for myself, and I'm just more relaxed. I like the feeling.
I also like the feeling of not being hooked to so many random television shows. As of right now, I'm hooked on Grey's Anatomy, The Bachelor, and Gilmore Girls. I also like to watch Made (on MTV) a lot because I like to live vicariously through high schoolers. I watch other random MTV shows when they come on when I'm flipping through channels randomly, but I'm not technically "hooked." The Bachelor is my guilty pleasure. I know that they probably won't get married and it's a bad concept and probably chauvinist, but whatever. It's fun to watch. You know what else is fun to watch? Ceaser Milan-- the Dog Whisperer. I can't get enough of that show. I love it so much!!!
Right now, I'm going to watch Spellbound with Stephanie and Julia. It's a documentary about the spelling bee. Yes!!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
it's been a while
So after having made it through the most depressing day of the year (January 23-24 according to experts), I am now on my way to being excited about spring! I'm working out more, which is nice. I did a bellydancing class last night and tonight I'm going to do yoga. I've been in the pool for my WSI class, which has made me miss swimming. So I'm going to start swimming for excercise more often, too. Yay for getting my body in some sort of shape!
Chinese class is more fun this semester. Perhaps it is because I don't have it first thing in the mornign like last semester, or maybe because I know more and it's easier to build off of something as opposed to starting fresh. Classes themselves are more fun-- maybe the teachers are getting better? Or perhaps they can speak more chinese and less english and we can still understand them. I switched lecture teachers, and Zhou Laoshi (who I have now) seems to do more hands-on things that help us practice speaking. I just need to work on knowing how to write the characters. Memorization is hard!
College Life is exciting because we're starting to do leadership training now. We have folders and memorize verses every week. We talked about contact work at the last meeting, and I was excited. Because I've known what goes on behind the scenes of YL for a long time, but now I will actually be putting it into practice. McKenzie and I have to share our 5-minute testimony for our small group next week, and I'm a little excited. I used to think that sharing a testimony was so hard and when Mom tried to get us to do it back in high school sunday school, I was terrified. Now I realize that it's just my story, and that it shouldn't be scary.
Speaking of College Life, I'm going to Windy Gap this weekend!!! I'm very excited because: a) I will be with my college life loves; b) I will get to see Kristin and Eric and Brad (because eric and brad are doing program); c) I will be at Windy Gap, duh!; and d) because I like to have the break from school. So, it's just going to be a lot of fun chilling out and having fun with my friends. And I get to be a server this time, which is awesome.
I guess that's all for this post... have a great day, everyone!
Chinese class is more fun this semester. Perhaps it is because I don't have it first thing in the mornign like last semester, or maybe because I know more and it's easier to build off of something as opposed to starting fresh. Classes themselves are more fun-- maybe the teachers are getting better? Or perhaps they can speak more chinese and less english and we can still understand them. I switched lecture teachers, and Zhou Laoshi (who I have now) seems to do more hands-on things that help us practice speaking. I just need to work on knowing how to write the characters. Memorization is hard!
College Life is exciting because we're starting to do leadership training now. We have folders and memorize verses every week. We talked about contact work at the last meeting, and I was excited. Because I've known what goes on behind the scenes of YL for a long time, but now I will actually be putting it into practice. McKenzie and I have to share our 5-minute testimony for our small group next week, and I'm a little excited. I used to think that sharing a testimony was so hard and when Mom tried to get us to do it back in high school sunday school, I was terrified. Now I realize that it's just my story, and that it shouldn't be scary.
Speaking of College Life, I'm going to Windy Gap this weekend!!! I'm very excited because: a) I will be with my college life loves; b) I will get to see Kristin and Eric and Brad (because eric and brad are doing program); c) I will be at Windy Gap, duh!; and d) because I like to have the break from school. So, it's just going to be a lot of fun chilling out and having fun with my friends. And I get to be a server this time, which is awesome.
I guess that's all for this post... have a great day, everyone!
Sunday, January 15, 2006
yakkity yak don't talk back
I just made an interesting discovery-- my wardrobe consists of a lot of pink. I wouldn't have guessed that I was a pink kind of girl, but then I realize that I really am. When I buy new shirts, they are pink or gray. I just surveyed my non-t-shirt-long-sleeve shirts, and pink is the dominating color. I like pink. It makes me happy and brightens my day. So, yeah. Just thought I'd share that with you.
The fam came to visit this weekend. Only one week after having left them, but I still was really glad to hang with them. I got to see Jill and Char swim a bit, then we went out to dinner (on friday). Saturday was fun because we went to South Point and ate lunch and saw Casanova and then made a stop at Super Target on the way out. It was good quality time and I got to get myself organized by buying good snacks and school supplies. I finally got a 3-hole punch, which makes my life ten billion times better! The state of my organization is a reflection of the state of my stress levels.
I get sad when people go away. It takes me a few minutes to compose myself and resituate myself with my surroundings. I got sad when Mom and Dad and Jill and Charlotte went away because I had so much fun with them and I got to be with them (and Kate) all over christmas break and now I only get to see them in little bits until summer break. But then I'll see them for a few weeks and go away for a long long time for Cheerio. I am happy that I am here, and I miss my family of course, I just get a little overwhelmed by the missing when it's the instant after they have left. My tired-ness exacerbates the missing, of course, so that doesn't make it any better. But now I am in the moment and am glad to get this semester rolling.
The fam came to visit this weekend. Only one week after having left them, but I still was really glad to hang with them. I got to see Jill and Char swim a bit, then we went out to dinner (on friday). Saturday was fun because we went to South Point and ate lunch and saw Casanova and then made a stop at Super Target on the way out. It was good quality time and I got to get myself organized by buying good snacks and school supplies. I finally got a 3-hole punch, which makes my life ten billion times better! The state of my organization is a reflection of the state of my stress levels.
I get sad when people go away. It takes me a few minutes to compose myself and resituate myself with my surroundings. I got sad when Mom and Dad and Jill and Charlotte went away because I had so much fun with them and I got to be with them (and Kate) all over christmas break and now I only get to see them in little bits until summer break. But then I'll see them for a few weeks and go away for a long long time for Cheerio. I am happy that I am here, and I miss my family of course, I just get a little overwhelmed by the missing when it's the instant after they have left. My tired-ness exacerbates the missing, of course, so that doesn't make it any better. But now I am in the moment and am glad to get this semester rolling.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
oh the traumas of the adult life
I am not good at being an adult. First of all, I hate talking on the phone. I hate setting up appointments and figuring things out on the phone because I am not a good phone talker and I make things really awkward. I also don't like setting up appointments in general. And figuring things out for myself. (practical things, that is. outside of school)
Case in point: I had to get new glasses here in Chapel Hill. I found the eye place, I picked out some cute frames... all was going smoothly. Then, I had to figure out insurance information and call the guy at the eye place back. Instead of going right back in once I figured out the information, I called him back later. Several phone calls and minor misunderstandings later, they finally figured out my insurance information so I could get the deals. Then I had to choose lenses. Fed up at this point, and not wanting to walk all the way back up to University Square to the place, I just did it over the phone. Bad idea. I didn't call my regular doctor to see what type of lenses I currently have, and just decided to wing it. I went for the cheaper (although thicker) kind because I figured my vision wasn't that bad and it wouldn't be that thick and I am very stingy and don't like to spend a lot of money sometimes. My mom knows this, so after the deed was done she called me out on it-- asking if I really wanted the thin ones but just got the thick ones because they were cheap. I said that it didn't really matter to me. Haha... I tried to trick myself. After some investigation to find out that my current lenses are the thin kind, and that I really did want to change my mind, I called the eye place only to figure out that my glasses had already been sent off. It's out of my hands and now I must wait until I get a new prescription to get thinner lenses.
I guess it serves me right for being so sketchy like I always am. I hate it when I know I'm being sketchy but there's almost nothing I can do about it. One of these days I'll be better at appointments, and then I'll be able to reap the rewards. I mean, I really don't care because I'm not looking at my glasses, and they'll probably be cute anyway, and maybe if they're thick they'll motivate me to wear my contacts more often. At least the frames are cute... I've got that taken care of. Oh me. Why am I so weird?? I'm okay. We'll see how I feel when I have the glasses in my hand...
Case in point: I had to get new glasses here in Chapel Hill. I found the eye place, I picked out some cute frames... all was going smoothly. Then, I had to figure out insurance information and call the guy at the eye place back. Instead of going right back in once I figured out the information, I called him back later. Several phone calls and minor misunderstandings later, they finally figured out my insurance information so I could get the deals. Then I had to choose lenses. Fed up at this point, and not wanting to walk all the way back up to University Square to the place, I just did it over the phone. Bad idea. I didn't call my regular doctor to see what type of lenses I currently have, and just decided to wing it. I went for the cheaper (although thicker) kind because I figured my vision wasn't that bad and it wouldn't be that thick and I am very stingy and don't like to spend a lot of money sometimes. My mom knows this, so after the deed was done she called me out on it-- asking if I really wanted the thin ones but just got the thick ones because they were cheap. I said that it didn't really matter to me. Haha... I tried to trick myself. After some investigation to find out that my current lenses are the thin kind, and that I really did want to change my mind, I called the eye place only to figure out that my glasses had already been sent off. It's out of my hands and now I must wait until I get a new prescription to get thinner lenses.
I guess it serves me right for being so sketchy like I always am. I hate it when I know I'm being sketchy but there's almost nothing I can do about it. One of these days I'll be better at appointments, and then I'll be able to reap the rewards. I mean, I really don't care because I'm not looking at my glasses, and they'll probably be cute anyway, and maybe if they're thick they'll motivate me to wear my contacts more often. At least the frames are cute... I've got that taken care of. Oh me. Why am I so weird?? I'm okay. We'll see how I feel when I have the glasses in my hand...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
memoirs of a geisha....
Was a good movie. I saw it with mom and dad tonight, instead of hanging out with MA friends. It seems that tonight was not my night for getting in touch with anyone my age in MA. Emmy is here in MA and I get to see her tomorrow! Yay!
I get jealous a lot. It's weird, and it's not an outright jealousy, it just lingers there-- like my random insecurities breed it or something. Most of the time I'm logical and can think things through and I forget my insecure thoughts, but late at night, they get blown out of proportion.
Right now, I just need to focus on thanking God for the wonderful new friends I have at Carolina that I am bonding with and whom I love so very much. I just start thinking that maybe people don't love me, but then I remember that of course they do. I wish I wasn't so hung up on getting satisfaction from all that. If there's one thing that I want to take from Passion, it is that I need to stop looking to people to fill the holes that He should be filling, you know? Passion has got me talking all "religious" and stuff, but I kinda like it. I feel weird integrating it into my language sometimes, like it's too cheezy or something, but really, it's a part of my thoughts and that's what this thing is for anyway-- my thoughts. Haha, I'm getting defensive about my thoughts to myself... weird how I do that sometimes.
Oh yeah-- I forgot to explain what Passion is! It was a conference in Nashville that was so amazing. We worshipped, heard speakers, met in small groups, went to breakout sessions, and grew and revitalized our faith a little bit. I went with Stephanie and Julia and Abby, and it was so much fun. Tay Ray Pony was there, too, but I didn't see him a ton b/c he was with a different group and in a different hotel. My favorite thing, if I had to choose, was the worship. 18,000 people in one place all praising God is pretty amazing.
So I had fun, and I am happy, and my goal is to stop being so insecure at night. (If you've been following my blog, I think you might've noticed a trend that the insecure stuff happens at night and when I have too much time for introspection )
I get jealous a lot. It's weird, and it's not an outright jealousy, it just lingers there-- like my random insecurities breed it or something. Most of the time I'm logical and can think things through and I forget my insecure thoughts, but late at night, they get blown out of proportion.
Right now, I just need to focus on thanking God for the wonderful new friends I have at Carolina that I am bonding with and whom I love so very much. I just start thinking that maybe people don't love me, but then I remember that of course they do. I wish I wasn't so hung up on getting satisfaction from all that. If there's one thing that I want to take from Passion, it is that I need to stop looking to people to fill the holes that He should be filling, you know? Passion has got me talking all "religious" and stuff, but I kinda like it. I feel weird integrating it into my language sometimes, like it's too cheezy or something, but really, it's a part of my thoughts and that's what this thing is for anyway-- my thoughts. Haha, I'm getting defensive about my thoughts to myself... weird how I do that sometimes.
Oh yeah-- I forgot to explain what Passion is! It was a conference in Nashville that was so amazing. We worshipped, heard speakers, met in small groups, went to breakout sessions, and grew and revitalized our faith a little bit. I went with Stephanie and Julia and Abby, and it was so much fun. Tay Ray Pony was there, too, but I didn't see him a ton b/c he was with a different group and in a different hotel. My favorite thing, if I had to choose, was the worship. 18,000 people in one place all praising God is pretty amazing.
So I had fun, and I am happy, and my goal is to stop being so insecure at night. (If you've been following my blog, I think you might've noticed a trend that the insecure stuff happens at night and when I have too much time for introspection )
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year!
What a great way to start off the new year! I got to spend the first day with my two favorite families and my own family, playing games and generally having a fun time! The Sumner's and Leathers' came over to play an assortment of games and have dinner and play more games and joke around and play more games and more games and more fun and it was just great! So many games and so much fun. We ended up playing Cranium, Catch Phrase, Trivial Pursuit, and Farkel. The night was capped off by Eric Leathers having to chew up a chap stick for like 30 seconds. Fun times, for sure. I love being silly and loud and insane. Even though I was accused of cheating on multiple occasions, and I apparently can't keep from talking after everyone's answer in Catch Phrase, I still love playing those games.
Now I'm excited about making a road trip with my new favorite girls to Nashville, TN for the Passion conference. I'm really excited about bonding and learning and having an all around amazing experience. Yay! So that's also fun.
Ok, I'm so tired and have to get up early for the road trip tomorrow, so I will sign off this first post of the year saying that I'm excited that my blog has made it all the way to 2005. It's been a long one, and I'm excited about it. 2006 holds, along with other marvelous things, the 3rd anniversary of the beginning of this blog. I'm getting excited! This post is crazy because I'm so hyper and a little bit ADD and my back hurts for some reason and I'm typing really fast and making a lot of mistakes. Sounds like it's bedtime for me!
Now I'm excited about making a road trip with my new favorite girls to Nashville, TN for the Passion conference. I'm really excited about bonding and learning and having an all around amazing experience. Yay! So that's also fun.
Ok, I'm so tired and have to get up early for the road trip tomorrow, so I will sign off this first post of the year saying that I'm excited that my blog has made it all the way to 2005. It's been a long one, and I'm excited about it. 2006 holds, along with other marvelous things, the 3rd anniversary of the beginning of this blog. I'm getting excited! This post is crazy because I'm so hyper and a little bit ADD and my back hurts for some reason and I'm typing really fast and making a lot of mistakes. Sounds like it's bedtime for me!