there's that thunder again

I'm not very good at packing. I pack too much or too little, and I don't have very good suitcases. It's hard to pack for two consecutive and quite different vacations. Hawaii and Tahoe require different clothing. It's also difficult to organize with a duffel.

So this weird thing has been happening to me lately. I'll think of random poetic lines that describe what is going on around me. For example: fireflies. One time they looked really pretty at Cheerio so I thought of a random line for a poem, but I never want to finish the poem. I'm not a poet so I would ruin the moment if I tried to capture it. Same with pictures. I'm not a photographer so I spend more time being frustrated that I can't capture the moment than I do actually appreciating the moment. Then I listen to John Mayer and it makes me feel happy again. 3x5... I'm hearin' ya, John.

I think this has been happening because of my lack of mental outlet. I'm so used to blogging that I get a bit weird without it. Musings with Emma at camp was kindof like blogging, but I had to make it funny and I had to edit it and it had to be about stuff that everybody can relate to. It was still fun, though. Sometimes it sucked and nobody laughed and I felt like a loser, but other times it was fun and I made people laugh (which was my goal for the summer).

I am ready for college. I'm ready for the experience. Good or bad, over or underrated, boring or exciting, scary or tons of fun, or a mixture of everything, I want to experience it. It's weird, like my mind hasn't settled on the fact that things are going to be different next year. This step seems so natural. I always imagined it as some far off and distant land which will be totally new and scary and different. As it's gotten closer, I've realized that's not the case. It's just the next step in my life. And my bestest friends that I have right now won't be too far away. And I'll make new bestest friends. Because it's inevitable. Yay!!