As my future draws near, and as my life begins to take shape, my mind starts acting in weird ways. I start getting an itch to be free of all restraints. I want my future to be here right now! I knew it would happen to me, because it's happened on a small scale throughout my life, but I think I've built up too many idealistic thoughts of what my life is going to be like and I bet there will be many disappointments if I try to keep to that path. But, then I start thinking that life would not be much fun if I had low aspirations. Isn't the whole point of having a youth all about reaching for lofty goals? I think so. Anyway. So I start wanting to spend as much of my youth discovering many nooks and crannies of life and the world before I have to settle down. And it's not like I have to settle down if I don't want to, but I think that's what I want to do once I've figured out enough of what life is all about that I can share it with someone and then teach my kids some of what I've learned. I don't want to follow the typical path that everyone takes without figuring things out on my own. Establishing myself somewhere, in something, so that I can be independent if I need to. I don't want to be driving my kids to soccer or something all the time before I've spent some time bonding with the world and seeing things from a different perspective. I feel like a lot of people just follow the rules and then get to the middle of their lives and realize that they wanted something more before they trapped themselves in.

For me, experiences are so much richer when I can just be caught up in experiencing them with no other cares. I don't think about savoring it, and I don't obsess over a trivial thing that I would regret later, when looking back on it. The best experiences are those which, of course, are wholly experienced in the moment.

Oh, I don't know what I'm talking about. Life is confusing.