half of the time you're gone

and you don't know where, you don't know... where.

I think my work ethic doesn't exist. I honestly can't bring myself to actually do anything unless I don't think about it until I'm already in the zone. Like, had I thought about cleaning my room, it wouldn't have been done. But I didn't think about it until I found myself folding laundry. My reading, on the other hand, is a conscious effort. I really need to read something. It doesn't matter what, exactly, just something. I usually wait until the last possible moment to sit down and do the stuff. I go outside on the hammock, intending to put a dent in the schoolwork, but it never works. I end up sitting and thinking about life and nature. Which isn't bad, don't get me wrong, it's just not what I need to be doing.

I like thinking about life when I have nothing else to do. It lets me sort things out. That's why I think I'll always be able to maintain some sort of sanity throughout my life- they always say that people who pray are less stressed out. They also say that introspection leads to a healthier lifestyle, all around. If you think about what you're doing, you're probably less likely to continue doing harmful things. Personally, when I go for days without actually thinking things through, I'll go a little bit crazy. Then I take a little extra time sorting everything out. Writing it out makes it a lot easier, too. I'll just follow my brain where it wants to go, letting me talk out all the bits floating around in there so I can be clear and able to think more clearly.

Sometimes I wish I had better posts. Most of them are too journal-y. Eh, I'm not too worried about it.