sweet like candy to my soul... sweet you rock and sweet you rollll

Some days I feel like getting out of this house, but on days like today, I just want to sit around and not really do anything at all. The only time I ventured out was to go with kate to get a spiced chai latte (which was GLORIOUS) and chat, and then I came right back and kept on doing nothing. It's really fun. I'm not sure if my family appreciates it as much, though, because my stir-crazy self kicks in. I was playing around with salt and pepper on my dinner plate, I kept asking mom why "deal or no deal" wasn't coming on (as well as asking if every tv show that came on was deal or no deal, like this "IS THIS ONE DEAL OR NO DEAL?? YAYAYAYAY! oh, guess not.") I just feel a little crazy sometimes. Mom thinks it's funny. I like days when I could go the whole day in my p.j.'s. The only reason I'm not wearing them now is because Kate made me get dressed. Silly Kate.

Being home for Christmas after only one semester of college is a little weird. I mean, it's fun, but it almost feels like I never moved away. I have no school work, and no car, and I am hanging out with my high school buddies like it's summer again. The only difference is that we all have our new groups of friends waiting for us when we get back. I think it's kind of cool. How does that quote go? We can grow separately without growing apart. We're already a little bit more mature than we were in high school, and even the most immature of us can see how silly high schoolers can be.

Well I'm off to bed. Adios, amigos!

a dragonfly can fly backwards as fast as it can fly forwards.

That is just amazing! I got that from the book that Erchica gave to me for Christmas. It's my kind of book. I found it funny that the first fact I read from the book was one that I already knew! That just goes to show you that I use "incredibly useless facts" on an everyday basis. It says that this book (titled Bla Bla) is "something to talk about when you have nothing else to say." Seriously, I always have something to say, but usually because I'm already chock-full of these silly facts. They are great conversation starters. YAY THANKS, ERIKA! I LOVE THIS BOOK. The end.

merry Christmas!!!

I love this day. I hope you love it too. Other things I love are Christmas songs in general, but "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" especially. I really really love the version by Sixpence None the Richer. That's a band that I really like. Them and the Goo Goo Dolls. They have a really cool Christmas song out, too. I somehow just recently realized my love for both of those bands. They're just good.

Among my Christmas presents is the Freaks and Geeks complete series set. I watched the first episode, and I'm really excited about having it. It's just a good show. Another Christmas present worthy of noting is the hat given to me by Kate. Hats usually don't fit me and I end up getting depressed at the gargantuousness of my head. This hat, however, is different and fits me and looks cute!! Now my head can be warm when walking to class. Yay! All of my presents were very good. I like this "quality vs. quantity" outlook that my family seems to be tending towards. I guess it's part of us getting older. I think my disillusionment stage is over, and now I can accept Christmas for what it is now instead of how it usually was in the past.

I have missed blogging. I know it's been few and far between, but I think that's a part of me not being settled yet. Or being in college. Who knows. All I know is that I enjoy writing random commentary on parts of my life, but I don't know how frequent it's going to be. Of course I won't give this old thing up, because it is a part of my life that I love. I'm so sentimentally attatched to a blog. Being attatched to an electronic collection of my thoughts seems funny when I think about it, but I am. And now I think I'm rambling.

Once again, merry Christmas! I hope you had a day full of joy and fun and fellowship with your family. I did, and it was fun. Next is the new year!!! Yay for 2006!

aaaaaaaand i'm back.

I've resurfaced from exam week with hardly a scratch to be seen. I got all A's (with a few A minuses sprinkled in for extra flavor), with an overall GPA of 3.86. Not too shabby for my first semester of college at Carolina, if you ask me. Yay!

Now that Christmas break is in full swing, all I really want to do is sleep. Forever. Somehow I haven't been able to sleep past 9:00 yet since I've been home. That streak will hopefully end tomorrow.

Wow. I wanted to write but I'm entirely too tired. Just jotting down a note to let you know that I'm still alive.

xoxo
emma

umm, wow.

I have not updated in 10 days, and for that I apologize. Finals week has taken over my life. I didn't know it would be this bad! I have not yet succumbed to the ever-popular Aderol or caffeine highs. I have had 2 exams already and have my last one tomorrow at noon. The hardest was last Saturday (yuck! the day after classes ended!), then the next hardests was on Tuesday, and now the easiest is on Friday. They've been successively easier, which made me very very happy.

So now I'm going to go study Sociology. Soon it will be Christmas break!!! Happy Holidays!

brrrrrrrrrrrrr

Today it was so cold! Except in Chapel Hill it isn't snow weather. Well poopy.

Let me just tell you, I look hilarious in my cold-rain attire. Starting from the bottom, here we go:

• Blue/purple striped rainboots from Target. They are so great because they are warm and they don't get wet on the inside! I can stomp through all the puddles while others have to walk around them so their New Balance's don't get squishy. Silly New Balances.Those people should invest in rainboots.
• Jeans. Ok, that's the normal part. But they were tucked into the rainboots, which looked hilarious in my opinion.
• Big L.L. Bean Jacket. It's big and purple and fun.
• White mittens from Target. Mittens just look funny on people. I'm not exactly sure why, but they do.
• A headband/ear-warming thing from Target. It makes me look funny. Especially because nobody else walking around seems to be as bundled up as I am. I checked the weather, and it was cold, and getting colder! 37 degrees is clearly wintry weather.
• My UNC umbrella. I bought it today because my raincoat normally gets soaked through, walking all the way up from South Campus in the pouring rain and all.

I know this outfit might not seem so ridiculous, but when I get inside, it just gets funnier. Everyone is already settled and I look like I'm bustling in out of the arctic. Silly me.

I want it to snow already! yay snow!!!

hark the sound...

I am pretty much in love with the Carolina Basketball team. I wasn't really a fan at all before I came here-- the only school spirit I had was a little bit because I knew I would be coming here. Now I could explode with the stuff. I love watching basketball! I love knowing everything about the players. I didn't even know I was a sports fan until I came here. I made it a goal of mine to really pay attention to the games so I could talk basketball fluently with people who I already knew were fans. It's amazing. We just beat Kentucky, which really made my day. They're ranked #10 while we aren't even ranked! (because we are such a young team)

The basketball players' celebrity is also weird for me because I say that I like them in the same way that I like Jake Gyllenhaal or something. It's weird for me, then, when I see them on campus and remember that they're my age and there isn't as huge of a barrier for my getting to know them. It freaks me out a little. Like, I don't like Tyler Hansbrough because he's hot, but mainly because I randomly decided to make him my favorite player. It's also hard to pick a favorite player because they are all so wonderful at their own things.

Carolina fans are so crazy that they will wake up ridiculously early in the morning to stand outside in the freezing cold to get basketball tickets. I was at the Dean Dome this morning at 6:45 am to sign in with my bracelet, then I left and slept for like 3 hours in my dorm room, and then came back to stand in line to get 2 nose-bleed tickets to the Miami game. That was all they had left because my bracelet number was like 3,000 off the Magic Number. That's why I hate lotteries-- I never win. But it's all good. I'm sure I can find good tickets somewhere at some point. Who knows.

So, yeah. Go Tar Heels!!!

hmm

I was going to write a long post overanalyzing feelings, but I realized that I just wanted to get a basic thing down on my blog so that I could just move on and forget about it.

It's weird when you think you knew someone so well and then all of a sudden you change things, and then it's weird from then on. As if the friendship never happened. Do they ever think about how it used to be? It's not like the fact that we aren't "friends" anymore cancels out all that we knew about each other at one point.

Weird. Those feelings are interesting. I thought I was weird for thinking those thoughts, as if my thinking them indicated that I wasn't over the situation. I am completely over it in the sense that I know it will never go back to the way it was, and now that I've grown as a person I wouldn't want things to go back. I don't know. I just think about it sometimes.

I guess this is just me dealing with things. I knew it had to happen some time.

It happened.

I turned into a college student! As of right now, I have $7.61 in my checking account, I just finished my homework that is due at 2:00, I'm about to take a nap in the library, and I wasted a ridiculous amount of time on Facebook last night when I should've been sleeping. I never thought I'd see the day! Here are the reasons why I thought I could escape the stereotype.

1) I am good with money. I would always have about $100 padding in my checking account so that it was there if I really needed it, and I wouldn't have to worry about overdrawing. Somewhere along the line, that $100 disappeared and now I wait until my allowance comes in to spend money. I could always put the $100 buffer back in, but now, being a college student, I'd probably just spend it on random stuff and then my savings account would slowly drain away like my checking. I'm still good at budgeting my money, and I always have a good idea of how much I have in my account and what I should be spending it on. I've actually become a better judge of when to spend money, and I don't do it as frivolously as before.

2) Even though I am the worst procrastinator in the world, I still get things done the day before so that I'm not so stressed out before the class. But that was just High School. Now I add in time right before the class to get work done. The concept was pretty foreign to me at first, but now it seems normal.

3) Ok, the nap might not actually materialize, but I never thought I'd be this big of a proponent of the library. I mean, it's great. Its walls hold many important works that should help me in my studies, and it provides a good atmosphere conducive to studying, but I always thought I could just do my work in my room. Not so, my friends. At home, perhaps my room could double as a study room. Not at college. It's almost impossible for me to get any good work done in my room. I don't have any desk space and there are far too many distractions. I came a lot to do Chem Lab, it's really good for that. And when I need to just get work done in a big chunk, being at the library is a real help. Who knew?

4) When I first got Facebook, I wondered how people could find it so addicting. I mean, it's just a bunch of profiles and once you've seen your friends' once, you don't need to see it again. Oh boy. That was before Facebook did pictures and before I discovered Facebook stalking. Webshots is a huge facet of the appeal of AOL, and the fact that it is now in such a convenient form is quite awesome. Or horrible. Depending on how you look at it. It's like webshots to the extreme! Facebook stalking is also amazing, finding people and how you know them and trying to figure out everything about people you meet or who are in your class. And then there's wall writing. Lets just say that I never expected it to reach this level, but I am definitely addicted to facebook.

So, yeah. I'm a stereotypical college student. The funny thing is, I love it. Absolutely love it. I've been looking forward to this all through high school, and now it's here and I'm soaking up every minute of it. Every lovely detail of college is my favorite. It's hard to explain some parts of it, but I just love it. I was made for college. Yay! Even though I'm stressed because of exams, I am surrounded by tons of people, some of which are amazing, and the others of which I don't even have to care about. And then after that, I get to go home and hang out with no worries whatsoever until spring semester, and then I go back to the stereotype (this time with better classes). Woo! I'm going to rest my eyes a bit before my 2:00 class now. Zai Jian!

Tests stress me out more than just plain work. If I have a certain quantity of work that can be measured and has to be done by a certain date, I can do it. If I just have to study until I know something, I always stop before I should. Umm, so yeah. I want it to be Christmas already.

i am thankful for:

my wonderful old friends who love me
the lovely new ones i'm making
my family who loves me
my health
my life
goldfish & gushers
being able to go to a wonderful university to learn
having all five senses so that i can fully appreciate everything in the world that God put out there for me to enjoy
having a bright future ahead of me full of so much that i can't even imagine yet
wonderful food to eat and stuff my belly with on fun days like this
soft sheets
and so so much more!

thank you, God! it's amazing and i love it. all of it!

Oh sweet release!

I hate assignments that involve more than me just researching and finishing things on my own. I'm talking about ones like this one for Enst 35 that has been a huge weight on my shoulders for so long. Part of the assignment includes conducting an interview with someone in the North Carolina Forestry world who knows about invasive species. I hate having to actually talk to people. I feel stupid! But worst of all, I hate having to constantly worry about reaching someone, sending out countless emails and leaving countless messages, sounding like a complete and stupid idiot on the phone... I just hate feeling inferior and interviews make me feel inferior. I just talked to this guy for an interview, and he said he'd answer my questions and give me good links for research which made me really happy. It is a HUGE weight off my shoulders. But then I found out that Andy is interviewing him too. Silly Andy. So there's another guy but I need to think of hardcore questions to ask him to get the full potential out of the interview. I guess I'm learning how to be an adult and apply my learning instead of just choking and puking, but I'm so good at choking and puking. Poo. I hate feeling stupid. And I don't kwow why, but I just felt stupid for doing these interviews. My Environment class makes me feel stupid. Great. But I actually do feel like I'm learning, which is a new and welcome experience. I don't know. I just want this case study interview to be over. I was polite and probably sounded intelligent, it's just my first ever interview and I feel like the guys I'm interviewing can tell. I kept emailing within the department, and they probably were talking like "We should probably stop ignoring that stupid girl so that she'll stop sending us her emails." But maybe they think I'm nice and feel sorry for me. I don't know. I just want to have easy classes like math and chemistry and geology. Not classes that I need to apply critical thinking skills. Haha, just kidding. But really. It's so stressful and all I want to do is sleep forever. Christmas break can't come soon enough.

rah rah carolina-lina

This whole "college" thing is starting to sink in. It's starting to get past the stage in which everything is new, and I'm actually starting to believe that I'm going to be here for four more years. This is the beginning of my future. This is where I'll get all the knowledge I'll need to be a functioning member of society. It feels good to start thinking for myself. I think it's all sinking in because I'm realizing more and more that the life in MA doesn't involve me anymore. I mean, it's a little depressing, but not that much. Like, this weekend, I had a schedule all to myself that was completely different than my sisters' at home. I know it's been like that ever since I've gotten here, but I feel like I'm entering that part where I don't know what they're doing and they don't know what I'm doing. It's my independent life now. It's just weird that I'm consciously recognizing it happening. Ok, enough weirdness.

This weekend was fun! Friday night I went with the College Life kids to Chili's and then some of us went and hung out in Allan's room for a bit. It was fun, but I was tired and had to peace out early. Then yesterday I went to the football game and the basketball game. We lost by a field goal in overtime at the football game and that was so depressing. But we won the basketball game by like 30 so that was un-depressing. It was good to sit down at the basketball game after standing up for like forever at the football game. And I like basketball a lot. I got to see big ol' Tyler Hansbrough dunk... and get intentionally fouled by this guy from Catawba. He was a jerk. I felt so bad for Tyler when he was on the ground! It looked like it hurt. The announcer had to calm the crowd down when we kept booing the guy that fouled him later on in the game. "Number 44 made a mistake, let it go..." It made me laugh a little bit. So, that was fun. Then I came back to the room and chilled out and went to bed early so that I could survive waking up for the early service of church today. 8:10 is very early to leave for church. But I survived.

I'm sad that I missed the boat on the best concerts this year. First Coldplay, then Nickel Creek last night. I love those bands! Too bad I didn't know about them. I have to get better at concert-spotting. There will come a good concert that I will be able to see... one of these days.

Ok, now it's off to my 3rd Carolina sporting event of the weekend-- a soccer game. What a fan I've become!

83 degrees on november 9th? amazing.

So today I got new jeans. "Hot pants" if you will. No more is Emma Refvem a one-jeaned girl. I have two pairs. This drastically expands my wardrobe, so that I don't have to wear swetpants every day of the week to "save" my jeans for the weekends. I believe that reflects more on my lazy clothes-washing habits than on my lack of clothing, but whatev. I like having new jeans. I need to break them in. I love a good pair of jeans, most definitely.

You know what else I love? Emails from long-lost best friends. That's right-- I recieved one from Emmy today! Emmy Christina Albrecht Tedder. My long lost love. I miss that kid so much and it's good to hear that she hasn't disappeared off the face of the earth. She's a cool kid.

I also love being silly. I got to do a lot of that at Windy Gap this past weekend. I was a baker in the kitchen with Ms. Amy Stelling and we had a fun fun time. We braided bread! I got burnt on my arm from the cookie sheet! (it's okay because the cookies were good and i enjoy scars.) It was amazing. Windy Gap this time was a time for bonding with and loosening up around my new College Life friends. As our time in College Life goes on, I love it more and more. It was different to be on work crew instead of with the other kids or as a leader, but the adjustment taught me some lessons about what being a leader is all about. It's going to be a fun growing experience.

It's too bad that I procrastinate a lot at school because all I really want to do is start reading novels again. I bought "Life of Pi" and I absolutely cannot wait to start reading it. It looks quite interesting. I miss the thrill of being in someone else's mind for the short amount of time I spend reading the book. I feel like I can add those experiences to my own and it feels nice. So I can't wait to get all caught up on schoolwork.

The weather has been beautiful and really warm for November, and my mood has lifted along with the increments on the thermometer. Just another validation of the fact that I probably have Seasonally Affected Depression. When this cold snap comes, I'll probably get a little bit depressed. But that is also exacerbated by my sucky schedule. I want it to be next semester. I like the classes that I will have. More my style of classes.

Speaking of classes, I must study chinese. Zai jian, folks! (that means goodbye)

i am sad because both of my kitties died while i was away at college.

someone please save us, us college kids

I apologize for slacking on my blogging as of late. I find my time occupied by class, studying, hanging out, sleeping, and FACEBOOK. Oh the facebook will be the death of me. I'm trying to curb my addiction-- we'll see how that goes.

So Halloween was... an experience. It was fun to see all the costumes-- the most memorable to me were the phonebooth and characters from Bill & Ted's excellent adventure and tetris pieces. There were more, but I forgot them. There was an abundance of Anchorman crews (one of which I was a member-- Veronica Corningstone) and Team Zissous and facebooks and quailmen, which were all funny. I saw a few iPod commercials too (bright posterboard behind them, black clothes, an iPod, it was cute). All in all, however, a sober Franklin Street was quite sketchy. Being around so many drunk people was crazy. Haha, drunk people. I had interesting conversations with drunk people that night, I got knocked over by one, and also decided to "escort" one around. A hilarious situation arose from one of the conversations, though the person involved in the situation may or may not have any idea. It was also cool to see so many people from my high school/county. Everyone comes to Chapel Hill for halloween! The bad thing about Halloween was the aftermath. I got a solid 5 hours of sleep that night, and had to go to my 8:25 class that morning. Lets just say that I don't function well at all on 5 hours (being accustomed to 8 and all), and was zoned out the entire day. To top it all off, I had to spend every extra moment in the Library to work on my Lab Report. I finally got the nap today that I'd been looking forward to all week, since I didn't have time before. Craziness. The pictures were priceless, though. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

I am going to Windy Gap this weekend and can't be more pumped about it! We're going to ride down there in Nan's Durango and jam out to a mix I've just thrown together, complete with some oldies jams to dance around to. We've started a mini girl's bible study that is quite reminiscent of The Setup. We haven't named it yet, but I'm working on it. It's going to be very fun! I really enjoy fellowship like that. We all get each other and can grow from each other and it's just gonna be good. Besides that, Windy Gap is going to be amazing just because it's Windy Gap! I don't have to worry about registering (because of the lovely Meredith Bryson who's taken up that responsibility for me) and I will let myself forget about homework. That's a good sign.

So, college. It's going well. I'm learning how to handle myself, and learning a few things about myself, and learning some cool stuff in classes, too. Like Chinese. Who knew? I've learned that I don't enjoy putting clothes away. My parents have always known this, only now I realize it's importance. I've learned that I am really interested in Environmental Studies class, but I've found myself to be a slacker in it. For no particular reason. It's just a bit of a time management issue, but at least I like it! I might get a B in it, but I'm okay with that because I know that I love it and I know that I'm learning and I know that grades don't define my life. That's a bit of a slacker point of view, but I'm quite tired of caring about GPA. I think this class is my form of "sticking it to the man"-- the "man" being GPA. I don't need to get into a school before graduating, and I'm not planning on going to graduate school immediately after college, and I don't even know where I'm headed in the future. Really, the reason I'm okay with having a B is because I realize that I got off to a bad start. I think I need to get this out of the way so that I get back into the groove. Once this class is over, hopefully my itch to rebel will be out of my system. I might not even get a B, I might get an A! I did do extra credit and I do relatively well on my recitation grades. We'll see. I'm just resigned to the grade in that class.

It feels good to blog. I forgot the feeling, which is sad. I've had this thing for so dang long, it's almost insane. Haha, weird. Ok. Now I'm going to pack for WG. Adios, amigos!

BOO!




(i didn't make it, i just found it on google image.)

good morning!

And welcome to the end of Daylight Savings. Oh, it is a glorious end... One extra hour in which to sleep and fully prepare for the day. It would be nice to always have an extra hour in the day, but I suppose that once it got to be a norm, it wouldn't be as nice as if it were every once-in-a-while. The downfall to the end of daylight savings is that we aren't saving the daylight and therefore it gets darker earlier. In the winter, it's hard for me to fathom that it stays light so late in the summertime. I forget what summer is like and feel like winter is going on forever. But I know that summer will eventually come. And with winter comes bundling up and snow! That is going to be fun.

Oh boy. I never have anything to talk about. I'm becoming boring.

My schedule's going to be slightly harder next semester, I think. I'm going to have to register while at Windy Gap and hopefully too much won't go wrong.

Umm, Purple pens are amazing! I love them so much!

Yeah. I got nothin.

a forward, but hauntingly close to home

TO ALL THE TRUE CAMP PEOPLE OUT THERE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A CAMP "LIFER" IF.

Abnormality is a compliment.

ACA standards are met religiously.

All your coworkers could be clinically classified as either pyromaniacs,
multiple personalities, or obsessive compulsive.

Being at home makes you homesick.

Dressing up only involves slightly cleaner clothes.

Everything you have has your initials on it.

It's socially acceptable to cry in front of your boss.

Most of your stories start with "and then there was this one time, at
camp..."

On the job training includes "the Cup Game."

Peanut butter is its own food group.

Sandal/watch tan lines are a competition.

Screaming and running at the same time is a coveted skill.

Sharpies and duct tape are worth more than gold.

The following letters make sense: JC, CIT, ACA, AED, CPR, and WSI.

Using logic could get you in trouble.

Water cures all ills.

Camp has been over for 22 minutes, and you're already thinking about next
summer.

You are convinced that there is no way you can date someone who is not a
camp guy/girl, because no one else really understands.

You can burst into song about anything.

You can make anything out of duct tape, including band-aids.

You can make up a song about anything.

You can shampoo, wash, and shave your legs, etc in less than 5 minutes.

You can think of 50 ways to use a bandanna off the top of your head.

You can walk the woodsy paths at night without a flashlight.

You feel naked without a Walkie-Talkie strapped to your body.

You cell phone bill in the summer is very small because of reception issues.

You don't think non-camp people can understand your summer job.

You've made friends with the "office people" or the camp nurse just so you
have a place to hang out.

You eat ketchup with everything.

You ever wonder why camp people give the best hugs.

You go to college just to fill time between summers.

You have a camp set of clothes.

You have a collection of outfits for theme weeks.

You have about 20 mosquito bites in 1 square inch of skin.

You have an entire volume of camp-friendly mixed CDs.

You have ever tried to dance inside a moving vehicle.

You don't do this for the money - and you mean it.

You have no clue what's on TV until mid-September, cause you never watch it
at camp.

You have to routinely prevent yourself from shouting, "walk, please!" or
"where's your buddy?" at random kids at the mall/at the grocery store/etc.

You know all 753 1/2 verses of "Boom-Chica Boom."

You know exactly how to get to camp from home by car, boat, plane or any
other means of transportation.

You know that laughter, hiccups, sneezes, itching, and yawns are contagious.

You can be blindfolded and lost in a remote location - and you'll still know
exactly how to get to camp.

You were disappointed to find that you cant major in "camp."

You never refuse free food.

You refer to your campers as YOUR kids.

You relate better to people 10 years younger or 10 years older than you than
to your actual age group.

You save anything and everything campers have ever made for you.

You still enjoy the same songs you did at 5 years old.

You value the friendship bracelet you got at carnival last summer more than
any other piece of jewelry.

You write song parodies for fun.

Your "real-world" friends have ever limited you to only 5 camp stories a
day.

Your barter system relies on hugs, backrubs, and chocolate exchanges.

Your car won't start until all seatbelts are buckled.

Your closer with your coworkers than with your own family.

You long for bug juice in winter.

Your friends know you're never home from June till September.

Your idea of a good song starts with the words "This is a repeat after me
song."

Your primary method of diplomatic resolution is rock, paper, and scissors.

Your tan lines are also your dirt lines.

Your teachers know you as a camp person.

Your voice quality at the end of the week is inversely proportionate to how
good it was.

Your water bottle and windbreaker are as essential as your underwear.

Your year only has two seasons. (Summer and Non-summer)

You've ever given up time off to comfort a crying camper.

You've ever had to read a policy on bathroom usage.

You've ever written a paper about camp for a class.

You refer to all your friends as "dude" even though you live no where near
the west coast.

You've used your frozen Nalgene as an icepack.

You've written down the camp address instead of your own.

You know exactly who you're going to pass this email onto...

I am stressed by school and depressed by the weather (darkness, mainly) and it is not very fun.

I don't have time to organize my thoughts. And I'm tired of doing journaly posts just because they are easy.

All I want to do is sleep.

HAPPY 500th POST!!!!!!!

(this is actually 501, but i had to congratulate the previous post with another one)

holy moley, guys. 500 posts. wow.

i love fall!!!

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. All random bad thoughts and insecurities and lonliness flew out of my head and I was able to just exist in this beautiful world that God intended for us to enjoy. My mind had been so cluttered and negative and hormonally depressed, but going to bed early and falling asleep to Mulan was the beginning of the remedy. I was able to wake up on my own before my alarm (one of life's simple joys), take a shower and take my time getting ready while listening to Nichole Nordeman. It made me feel happy, and I forgot the depressing thoughts. Then I went to church, my mood brightened even more by the lovely weather. The church service was good, too. I love the Summit. I want to try other places, too, but I'm liking the Summit so far. It's a good mix of contemporary and traditional, and the preacher is really good. And a lot of people from Carolina go, whom I've seen at Crusade and Young Life and just around campus. Anyway, the service brought my focus back to where it should've been before. It sounds a bit weird, but it's true. After church and lunch with Liley and Erika, I went and did my homework out on the E-haus lawn. It was so beautiful, though, that all I wanted to do was sleep. So I took a mini nap. And was just happy. So now I'm in the midst of procrastinating my homework, but I don't feel so overwhelmed with work. My room is clean and I've been listening to good music all day (which puts me in the greatest of moods), and Grey's Anatomy is on tonight. Good TV shows make my day. So, basically, this weekend was like a mini rollercoaster, with a good end. I got to see Paige and I got to see Elizabethtown (which was quite good) and I got to relax on Sunday, and I get to go home for a much needed Fall Break on Wednesday! Ok, enough procrastination. Time to get down to business.

p.s.-- while at Late Night with Roy on Friday, I realized how much school spirit I actually have. It's almost ridiculous-- I was really sad that I wasn't here last year. I miss Jawad and Sean and Rashad. (i don't remember the other guys, haha) And even though we might be bad this year, I'm still looking forward to going to the games and cheering for UNC. Oh, and Tyler Hansbrough is my favorite player. (Casey's too, we like the tall, basketball-playing type, hehe)

Oh geez. I'm such a loser. I'm going to bed at 10:00 on a Saturday? Yes. Why? Because I'm reallly tired.

And socially awkward, but we'll address that later.

I think I need fall break. And windy gap w/ college life. and food because i'm hungry.

quadding

and i'm back

After a long and fun weekend at home, I'm faced with the reality of too much homework and a week of school ahead. Eh, whatever. It should be fun.

My sony handycam is the most fun thing there ever was. It's fun to just break it out and start taping in a random place to catch fun and funny hangout moments. I broke it out this weekend and captured some hilarious stuff at Tay Ray Pony's house. A fun time was had by all.

Ugggh I was trying to post so I would have an excuse to be putting off my mounds of homework, but it's not working so well. I have a cold so I cough a lot. It's not so much fun. It's cold here in Chapel Hill. I want to be wearing slippers. I brought some home, so it's a definite possibility. Enough random sentences. Off to work. Uggghhh.

i'm a dweeeeeeeeb. total dweeb. i'm typing this post lying on the floor of what used to be Jill's room next to a bed piled high with clothes that i left behind and right now i'm lying literally face down in the carpet with my hands outstretched to reach the keyboard to type this randomness even though i can't see what i'm typing and have to lift my head every time i think i've made a mistake so i can correct it. so, yeah. it's funny for things to be different yet the same. our friends' hangout style is the same but we all have new styes with new people that are all diffferent from each other. also, hanging out at college is so much easier because everyone's within a short distance of each other. going somewhere in MA requires driving and therefore some higher degree of planning and it crushes some of the spontaneity of it all. i do love seeing old friends, though. it was funnnn. i love them. i'm like falling asleep on the floor right now. this is quite a comfortable position, actually. i wouldn't mind sleeping like this. maybe it's because i'm so dang tired. why am i still up if i'm so tired? seriously. i don't make any sense. typing is so much more fun when you are lying down. i feel like nothing is coming out like i want it to, but then it miraculously is spelled right on the screen. i mean, i guess we don't really look at our hands much when we type anyway, or at least i don't. my jacket smells like smoke from copollas. poo on smokey restaurants. second-hand smoke kills. it's true. i think this typing while tired and on the floor thing allows for my thoughts to flow more freely and things that i would normally cancel out of my blogging part of my brain are coming out onto the screen. silly thoughts.

change. i want some things to change. i welcome it with open arms, but just enough change. other things i want to stay the same forever. i wish i could know when things are going to change if they ever will. but that's the thing-- i can't control it and i need to relinquish my control or my thought that i could have control. my thoughts run rampant but my actions rarely reflect what i wish was happening. i can't change what's happening. but i pray that it will and that it will be a very happy and wondeful change.

wow. i realllly don't make sense. silly me.

xoxo, loves. that's all for the latenight post from the floor.

i'm going home this weekend and i am getting strep throat and i'm way behind in reading for my environment class.

that is all.

it's cold outside cause it's october

Dag, Oprah is getting serious. She gave a very impassioned speech today on her show about how they need to rise up in the streets to convict child molestors. And she has a new, less homey-looking set. She likes to be serious.

And I like to procrastinate. I'll keep doing it until it burns me, but it hasn't burned me yet so I'm good.. I have to be doing a chem lab today but I'm going to wait until after YL and go to the library. But I'm really pumped about going to the library this time. I get work done there and I forget there's an outside world. My dorm room is sooooo the wrong place to try and do work. I get too distracted and my posture gets bad and I just generally don't like it. So Library, here I come!

I played Frisbee golf with YL boys on Friday. I'll tell you why it was funny. Reason #1: It's just for boys. And I'm a girl. Which really isn't that bad, because the rule isn't set in stone and I was bored and it's YL people who are easygoing anyway. Reason #2: It's for boys who are good at frisbee. I'm not good at frisbee. When I try to throw it, it never goes the direction I want it to. Reason #4: It's for boys who are good at frisbee and therefore have their own frisbees that they have especially picked for their goodness at frisbee golf. I had a dinky frisbee that I got from the California Museum of Science. So I was embarassed to show them my frisbee. Reason #5: None of the boys were freshmen from College Life. They were all upperclassmen who were already leaders and had been playing Frisbee on fridays for a while. There was some senior in high school there, but he was good and a boy and had a good frisbee. I sat it out on the first round because I didn't feel comfortable enough, but then finally started playing at about the 3rd hole during the second round, after drawing much attention to the fact that I was insecure and nervous. They were like "honestly, what's there to be nervous about?" They encouraged me and gave me pointers, so I didn't feel so insecure towards the end. Now all that lingers is the embarassment of the awkwardness of it all. I mean, I don't even know if they sensed the awkwradness. I've rationalized that the more awkward situations I go into and come out of relatively unharmed, the more I'll learn how to deal with them in future situations. It would've been totally awkward if I hadn't have even attempted to play. So it was only halfway awkward, because I sat it out at first. This situation haunts me because last night I had a dream that I was shopping for frisbees and couldn't find a good one. It was a stressful dream, for sure. I woke up feeling insecure but I'd forgotten the dream, so I worked to remember it so I would understand the random insecure feeling. So, yeah. It makes me laugh. I need another YL experience to cancel the awkwardness of this last experience out. And that would be tonight. Hey, I'm a funny girl-- I can joke my way out of many weird situations. Yay!!

Oh boy. I'm going home this weekend. I told myself I would wait until Fall Break, but I'm not going to give up a chance to see my big brother! That would be silly. I miss Will, and the family is going to see him on Saturday (if everything works out as planned), and MA people are coming from here to there this weekend, so it all works out very well. I also don't have a big test (that I can think of) that I would be studying for anyway. So, yeah. It's hard for me to look forward to things past big tests. Like I look forward to fall break, but I also can't relax until after my Enst 35 midterm the Wednesday of fall break. And I can't look forward to Christmas without realizing that I will be completely done with this semester (and all the exams and such that that entails).

bloggity blog blog bloggggg. I like writing in my blog but I forget sometimes.

yay for sweatpants and t-shirts weather! my favvoorritteee. I'm such a bum in the winter and I love it. yayyy!!!

i'm in an oddly good mood, considering my current workload. hah. life is funny like that sometimes.

in conclusion, my favorite part of anchorman is when ron's in the glass case of emotion. and when he's on the phone to ed and tells him that he's always been a good friend.

in for real conclusion, the human torch was denied a bankloan.

someone please save us... us college kids

Ok, so college was making me feel stupid. Chem lab in particular, and a bit of Enst 35, but generally I was feeling like I turned dumb when I came here, seeing as how it was a bigger pond and how I seemed big in a small pond but really am just a normal fish. Well, now I feel better because I kept thinking it was inevitable that I would do poorly at college but I did well on my Chinese and Chemistry tests! I'm not so good at quizzes--in any class--but I sure can handle the tests. When I think about it, Labs were always the worst part of classes in HS, but now it's just like it's concentrated into the Chem Lab that I hate so very much. I don't really hate it, I'm just not good at writing lab reports. So, now I feel better about my ability to be good at school, and I think I'm going to have a good weekend. I won't procrastinate like usual. As my wise middle-school teacher of a sister said, it's better to spread the work out so you have time to stop and smell the roses. Which is true. It's hard to smell roses if you're stuck on a computer doing a chem lab all the time. Honestly.

So, I told myself I wouldn't go home until Fall Break, and I'd say I'm doing a pretty good job of it. A month seems like a pretty long time to wait until then, but if you think about it it's only like 2 more weekends after this one and then the next weekend is fall break! I mean, I do have midterms and all that, but I'll probably survive. I really am glad that I'm not going home, because I need to get settled. If I stay longer than I've ever stayed at a camp, it keeps college from feeling like a bunch of camps all at once, you know? If I go home now, I'll feel like I'm just starting the second half of GSW or something. And I don't want to feel like that. On the other hand, if I keep looking forward to things then I'll forget to be happy about things going on in the present time. Like we have a football game on saturday! If I were only concentrating on fall break, I'd forget to be happy about that. Yay Carolina sporting events!!!

For the record, stress makes my muscles hurt and I have very poor computer posture at this desk with this laptop. So then all my muscles hurt when I have to keep studying on the computer and doing Lab reports. Just for the record.

I'm going to do some homework that isn't due until Monday! shocker!!

the art of quadding

Right now, I'm leaning up against a tree in the lower quad, along with many of my fellow UNC-ers, enjoying this cool, end-of-summer-but-still-not-fall day. My chem lab starts in approximately 40 minutes, after which I will be done for the day. I thought that this would be the perfect time to blog.

Ok, so Chem Lab has taken over my life. I procrastinate my lab reports until Tuesday afternoon, and then I freak out and don't do well on them. Such was the case last night. I've been doing work during all of my spare time since Sunday. Tonight I have to study for Chinese, and then Thursday I have to catch up on my readings for Enst 35 and then it pretty much starts all over again. I just need to learn how to split up my work so I have a little bit of time all the time instead of a lot of time only some of the time. Right. I make sense.

Hehe, so a group of protestors just walked by the quad yelling "What's disgusting? Union busting! What's outrageous? Sweat-shop wages!" and "Hey hey, ho ho, sweat-shop rates have got to go." I don't even know what they were protesting. But they were loud.

Last night I was all stressed out by my chem lab and was debating not going to YL since it was just a dinner and not a real club, but I was like there's no way i can stand to do this chem lab for any more seconds. So I went to McAlisters to meet the YL people all by myself. It was really fun. I got to actually talk to the leaders for more than 15 minutes, and it made me feel so at home. I heart YL a lot. Aannnd I found out that College Life is gonna go to Windy Gap and do work crew in November. I'm soooo pumped about that. Young Life people are just so much fun to be around.

Quadding is my new favorite thing to do. On my long days when I have to stay up on campus all day, I take a break around lunch to just listen to my iPod and look at the trees and the sky and it's very relaxing. It's like taking a little nap, except without sleeping. And you get to see fun stuff, like people playing frisbee and prostesting and tightrope walking. Yeah, these guys are tightrope walking over on a rope between two trees right now. It's not too far off the ground, but it looks like it takes a heck of a lot of balance-- balance I certainly don't have. Oh yeah, and I think the protestors made it to the Pit. I hear them yelling again. "ONE we are the students TWO a little bit louder THREE we want justice for the workers!" Silly geese.

Ok, I'm gonna head off to Chem Lab now, but I hope you have a good day and thanks for joining me on my quadding experience today. Adios!

this weekend made me happy! for reasons that will remain a mystery to the public, as to not jinx it. lets just say that i'm verrrryy happy and leave it at that. yay!!!

p.s.- i might rush phi beta chi in the spring, because casey and megan are in it and they want me to. and i want to, too. we'll see how that plays out.

it's official.

My new chinese name means "Love Plum."

Ran (third tone) ai (fourth tone) mei (second tone).

Ran ai mei.

You can just call me love plum.

ni hao

Hey guys! I guess it's time for an update on my life, since I haven't been posting very regularly. The reason for this irregularity can be summed up in one word: College. When I'm not sleeping, I'm studying. And when I'm not doing either, I'm hanging out with my friends. It's just how it works. And then when I'm not doing any of those things, I'm wasting time on facebook and not having enough time to organize my thoughts into a coherent blog.

Today's top story: I got a new cell phone! It's glorious-- it flips open, has ringtones, takes pictures, is cheap because of the wonderful school which I attend, has awesome service on campus, and has unlimited minutes when I call people with Cingular, which most of my friends do. It's glorious. I am officially in love with it. It's the first time I've had a new cell phone since my original phone, which was before the flip-phone craze, I guess. So, yeah. That is good news. Super duper. Neato, gang.

In other news, I can speak Chinese. It's fun to know how to do something like that. Like, I can read some characters and speak out loud and say things like "I am an American." "I am not a teacher." Today in class, Li Laoshi made us say funny things. We were repeating our new vocabulary after her, and she'd arrange it to say different things than were in the book. We learned how to say "friend" and "boy" and "girl" and also a possesive pronoun. She started making us say "I don't have a friend." "I don't have a boyfriend." "I don't have a girlfriend." Way to make it more obvious, Li Laoshi. Thanks a lot. Hehe... Oh, teachers.

I also now have 2 nalgenes that I love. I love them a lot. More than life, a little bit. Allthough I do love life a lot right now. I now have a family of nalgenes-- A big pink one (the mommy), a big blue one (the daddy) and a little green one (the baby). Ironically, the baby is the oldest of the bunch. I just added a chaco sticker to my blue nalgene that already has a carolina logo and an apple logo and a sticker of a street sign that looks like it says walking but then has a hula-hoop around the person's waist. I love that one a lot. The blue nalgene looks like a boy. It has boy stickers on it. Except for the hula hoop, but whateva. It has a spot that I need to fill immediately, lest it gets under my skin and annoys me forever. The pink one makes me smile every time I look at it. It is pink with a pink lid and girly stickers-- a flower YL one and a big one that says "PEACE" with hearts and peace signs in the block letters. It also has that nalgene flowery-looking thing on it. The only annoying thing is that I put the PEACE sticker on too low so it crinkles at the bottom, but I think it will survive. Maybe I'll exacto-knife it. Another reason it makes me smile is that I have a yellow smiley-face splashguard. The PEACE sticker is yellow, so it coordinates and makes me happy. The street sign on Mr. Nalgene is also yellow, so the splashguard coordinates there as well. Yayy! Nalgenes make me happy!!!

So, um, yeah. I love hanging out. I love it so much, that I watched Anchorman Friday, Saturday, and Monday, just for fun. Group watchings of that movie are fun. I should have studied for Chinese on Monday night, but I loved the Anchorman proposition more than studying at that point, so I made flashcards simultaneously instead of devoting my full attention to studying. (Don't worry, I was a good student and woke up early to refresh myself with the language before taking the quiz-- and I think I did well on it, too.) So, yeah. I'm going to go watch America's Next Top Model in Liles and Erika's room tonight because I love to hang out with them. And I'm giving myself a break from doing schoolwork. Poo on schoolwork, seriously.

Yay! It's practically the weekend now!

sorry for lack of postage, but school has officially taken over my life.

hey, i can speak chinese!

wo bu shi xuesheng hao. "i am not a good student." except i'm missing all the tones, because i don't know how to do it with the keyboard.

basically, chem lab sucks and i spend forever on lab reports. yay.

raisin...

my kitty died. and that makes me sad. she was 17 years old, and we'd been friends since we adopted each other in Texas when i was one-and-a-half. i love her. even though she would always try to bite my head when i was sleeping, even though she had the roughest tongue ever, even though her meow was reminiscent of a bull-horn, even though she took forever to get settled on your lap, even though she would bat at my hand when i'd type on the computer, i love her. i've never known my house without her. i'm going to miss her.

i'm sad that i'm never home when my pets die.

congratulations! you're a seeder!

Today it rained. I was caught unawares, and walked the entire 15 minutes in the downpour back to my dorm room. Needless to say, I was soaked. But it was fun after I was completely soaked, and I even got to walk barefoot. Oh, and I got a bit of puddle jumping in, too. So it wasn't too bad.

YL's College Life started, and I am so excited. I like being in some form of my comfort zone. I don't know any of the people, and I'm going to be venturing into a new world of leadership, but I already know that I love Young Life. And I am naturally drawn to people who do YL as well. It made me really happy.

I'm addicted to sunflower seeds.

I like using any excuse for counselor handwriting. I like taking pictures.

The printers that are in the basement are cool, becuase I don't have to pay for them. Yay!

national geographic tongue

Ok. I definitely have not reached the stage in my college life to go to a coed Hoe Down safely yet. I can't handle it. I want to meet a good group of girls to be best buds with, but it's hard to do so when they are all trying to meet boys. A bunch of boy-crazy college girls looking for husbands or boyfriends or hookups is not the scene I feel comfortable in right about now.

It's an interesting thought, though-- relationships in college. When Eric Leathers gave me words of wisdom for college, I had a couple reactions to them. "Don't fall in love during your first semester" was his advice. My first reaction was-- that won't be a problem. The other was-- one semester of college is not enough time to do so. But now I see more reason to the sage advice. It's less about actually falling in love as it is the mentality. Going into college, you are bombarded with new people to meet. If the thought of finding the love of your life is in the back of your mind, it alters the way you think about everyone-- subconsciously, of course. Somehow you find yourself measuring everybody up to some imaginary standard you've built up for yourself. "Could I be friends with this person?" "Could I see myself with this person?" "I wonder if they like me." First impressions become a crucial factor of social interaction.

I've found myself falling back into my habits of overanalyzation while here. The moments when I can slip out of that mindset are the most free and most fun. I get so caught up in trying to find who I really click with that I don't just let things happen. Everything has an underlying meaning or something. Its hard to find what to focus on. There is so much free time, and I have to get over the fact that this is not camp. It's my new life. These people will be my "college friends," like the ones my sister and my college-age friends have. But I've only been here for 2 weeks. That is not enough time to find and bond with a group of good friends all at once. When I remember this, I switch back into the favorable mindset and stop overanalyzing things. Then I feel like a normal person again. And I like it.

I keep telling myself that I'll be happier when Young Life (or I guess I should start calling it College Life) starts. If nothing else, I can throw my energy into something with which I am very familiar. It's easier because I already know that I love YL.

So, yeah. Falling in love my first semester. I don't want it to happen. I want to find myself and my group of friends before I try to devote my energy to things I don't know how to do, namely relationship things. I have no idea how to deal with those kinds of things. My overanalytic nature is the worst thing in the world for that. For example: what is this post even about? Me trying to express some sort of coherent thought on a vague theme. It doesn't make sense, really. And neither does my brain when I think of any type of relationship-- friend ones or romantic ones or any other ones you can think of.

In conclusion, I'm tired and am trying to face the transition into college, and you are seeing the effects of that. There will be more on this stuff later, I guess. Until then, zaijian! (it means goodbye in chinese... hehe)

p.s.- i really like college, don't get me wrong. i really do. it's gonna be a really fun experience.

ooooooh that smelll

School stressed me out yesterday. I was overwhelmed with the fact that classes were going to be hard, and I felt like I was already behind for some reason. They all seem to be challenging in ways I am not used to. Chinese is hard because I have to learn how to move my mouth in totally different ways to produce the sounds. Environmental Studies is hard because we have to do a case study and interview people and have hard exams that are essays. I feel somewhat behind in Chem because I don't have a calculator and I want to do the homework. And it's online, which is not what I'm used to for numerical answer stuff. And maybe I should've read the chapter earlier. And freshman seminar doesn't look too hard, I just have to write response papers and it's just once a week. Not too bad.

I was going to go on an InterVarsity retreat this weekend, but I've decided to stay home and catch up on schoolwork. I'm not really behind, I just need to get in the groove. So this will be a "groovy" weekend. Except everybody's apparently going home or something. I just really need to go to a Wal*Mart. I need folders and a calculator and spiral notebooks and random things that will satisfy this Wal*Mart craving. But I don't have a car. Maybe when the fam comes to visit me. Who knows?

My posts are boring. I can't think. I have a chinese quiz tomorrow. They'll get better. Sorry.

i got my own VIC card today!!

I've survived my first week of college... and I didn't run out of meals! Surprising, I know. It's easier than it looks.

So, yeah. Not much to report, really. I woke up at 8:00 yesterday morning without the aid of an alarm or anything. I just opened my eyes and it was 7:55 and I didn't feel like I needed to go back to sleep. So I did some laundry, listened to some music, cleaned up a little bit... you know, housekeeping kind of things. It was really chill and fun... I like relaxing for long periods of time. I was a bit sad that Ashley couldn't make it from Boone, but I totally understand her reasoning. I, too, hate driving long distances by myself when I'm going to be at the destination for only a night. So the dinner we had planned at Top of the Hill was slightly altered for the circumstances. Nicole and Casey and Ashley weren't going to be there, and that made it only McKenzie, Nancy, Liz (nan's roomie) and me. Nan and Liz were a bit late (only by 30 minutes), but all-in-all it was a good meal. Not too expensive, and with extra to spare-- just my kind of meal! Afterwards, McKenzie and I headed down to see "Mediocre Bad Guys" playing at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was a cool setting; one could watch the football games, eat some dessert, and listen to a Jack Johnson cover band all at once! I liked seeing some folks from home, too. Gary, Jerry, and Les are cool guys. After that, Mac and I took the P2P. Point 2 Point. Gotta love the P2P. Especially when drunk people get on. It's funnier that way. And then after that, I went to sleep.

So I'm pumped that I survived my first week with only minor bumps and bruises. No, just kidding. I don't even have bumps or bruises! Sweet! I'm doing better than I thought. Speaking of college, I need to have a good study routine. I haven't really had to have one yet, because I haven't really had homework or anything. I've had reading, but I've done it from my chair. Not a good idea. That chair makes me want to watch TV and have ADHD, not read a book. Silly chair.

Speaking of my chair, I'm off to be lazy on this lovely sunday afternoon. Hasta luego!

boy, i'm tired.

Hey, folks! Not a lot has been happening in Emma-land. Just getting adjusted to college life. It takes a while, I think, to get in the groove. I still have to get used to the fact that this is school, but you are supposed to be more social than I normally am at home.

The most exciting thing to happen to me was the sighting of Sean May and Marvin Williams in Kenan Stadium while watching a Football practice that was apparently closed to the public with McKenzie, Jacob, and Dusty. It was fun times, definitely.

Other than that, I've pretty much been anti-social these past two days. I'm so tired and so not used to being social that I don't know what to do with myself. My classes are done by lunch, and then I have the rest of the afternoon to sit around until Dinner, which is when people do things. I feel bad about wasting away the afternoons because I never do anything at night, really.

This week was so long. I feel like I've been here so long, but I still don't really have a set schedule. My classes were just in the beginning stages, so I haven't had to go study. I need to spend some serious time in the Library to feel productive during the day. My butterfly chair isn't conducive to studying. I feel like I'm rushing myself so that I can hurry up and do nothing. I really like my classes; I feel like it is a good variety. I haven't had my freshman seminar or my lab or my recitations yet, though. Once I've had all I'm going to have, I think I'll start to get in the groove.

Also, I haven't really made a ton of new friends right away. I knew that I wouldn't really make new and best friends right away, I just forgot that it took time for it to happen. I've met plenty of people, but I like being with people who know me already, at least a little bit. That's why I like Cheerio and GSW people. I've already passed the odd stage with them.

Despite the exhaustion and the reclusiveness and slight awkwardness that has permeated my college life thus far, I think it's going to be great. I just need to get used to the fact that this isn't a camp that I will leave soon, it's college. It's my new home. I have to go to school and be social all at the same time.

I'll get better at it, I swear.

i get overwhelmed easily

Today was a good day. I did mainly nothing all day until it was time to go to the Convocation. I hung out with Megan and Shmimmy until lunch, then with Liles and Erika until I had to go shower. We watched old Laguna Beach and it was fun. Then I connected my own cable and showered and met McKenzie and Dusty at the convocation. It was semi-boring, but also interesting. It was like a reverse graduation. It was kinda cool. I met up with Kaila and Christian, and then hung out with Kaila until Fall Fest.

Fall Fest, while amazingly fun, turned out to be totally overwhelming in the end. I saw so many clubs and got so many free things... it was crazy! I was getting kind of wigged out towards the end, and found Julie from Cheerio and we both went to find Anna down at the field. There, we watched the Carolina Basketball players play volleyball. It was weird seeing them up close, because I will be seeing them in the Dean Dome (hopefully!!) later this year! Anna got a picture with Dean Smith. Craziness. I didn't see Dean. But it was still fun. Then I wandered around for a bit, saw Nan, and then decided to take the P2P so I wouldn't get raped. I wish I'd have just walked.

I forgot my Nalgene in the bus stop hut thingy. This is the 5th Nalgene I've lost. I'm cursed! I wanted to cry. I did let my eyes water, because I was overwhelmed and letting my contacts be re-hydrated (which they badly needed.) But, yeah. I am so sad. I asked Megan if she would look to see if it is still where I left it, but my hopes are not high.

I get so overwhelmed when there are so many people I don't know and I just moved here so there aren't a lot of people I know well, and everywhere I go I meet new people, and I am not in any clubs yet, and I just want to be in YL because I know what to expect. So I am going to go to bed. I made it past midnight-- that's a good sign. I went to bed at 10:30 last night- on my first night of college. It's probably not a good sign, but I was tired! Sheesh.

So, I'm having fun, but I'm ready to have more of a routine.

the end.

I just moved in here to college, and it feels so natural. I'm all moved in, chillin on my computer while listening to Paul Simon just like I've been doing it forever.

I think this whole college thing is going to be great. I can feel it.

don't sweat the technique

I procrastinate a lot. This is not good these days because I really need to be preparing for college. I need to pack and I need to read Blood Done Sign My Name. Instead of doing these things, however, I watch TV and movies and waste time on my computer and sleep. None of which are productive. I mean, I do have a whole week to pack, and I'm not bringing too much stuff. I need some boxes and stuff. Whatever. I'll get on the ball... later.

In other news, I like hip-hop/rap. I really do! It's actually quite good. Kanye West and The Game are two of my favorites. That new Kanye West song- "Gold Digger" is so catchy. I thought it was too much at first, but now I can't get it out of my head! I am also a fan of "Hate it or Love it" by Fiddy and The Game. It's so cool. Oh yeah! I almost forgot-- I like Ludacris, too. Good ol' Luda. I just like that they all rap with different beats. Kanye uses the beat in ways I wouldn't normally expect. So I like to listen to it. I sat in Wal-Mart and listened to the new Nickel Creek album (which I really want to get) as well as the new Mike Jones album. "Mike Jones, Mike Jones!" "Back then they didn't want me. Now I'm hot-- they all on me." It's good stuff. I don't like purchasing the music, but I like to listen to it. So now you know my guilty pleasure. Rap music. Craziness!

i'm not a gymnast.

While trying to showcase my amazing handstand skills to my campers this week, I made a fatal flaw. According to Lindsay, the globe-trotting 11-year-old in the cabin, I went up in a good handstand but tipped a bit too far over before returning to the ground in the correct manner. This slight hyperextension stressed my back muscles in a way that would haunt me for the rest of 5c, even to this very moment. After the handstand, I immediately knew something was wrong. I tried to stretch it out during the inital pain onslaught, but to no avail. Within 5 seconds, I had turned into an old man. I struggled to get down to the floor, where my sympathetic campers tried to massage the pain away. Liles also tried to help by shooing away the campers while my eyes were closed so that she could trick me into thinking it was still them, being creepy. Oh, Liles. I got some Ibuprofen that night, along with an ice pack to "numb" the pain that left me in a slightly bent position while walking and hindered my ability to sit and stand with ease. It did nothing, basically. The most comfortable position was lying on my back that night, but I can't fall asleep that way. I can only sleep on my side, which was the least comfortable way possible. This happened on Sunday, and I was feeling a little bit better by Monday night, for Spy Hunter. I took the slow group (as usual) and we chilled out until we decided to be a little bit hardcore. In the midst of cheating to gain the backpack of Meredith Bryson's group with the youngest girls, I saw the opportunity to have fun and look silly/intense all at the same time. I ran down the hallway of Millis and jumped the wall and hit the ground running to maintain the 15 feet within my camper as she squirted her water gun with all the fury she could muster. This was not a good idea. It was like pushing the Restart button on my pain. That night I went to bed all ice-packed and ibuprofened and prepared for another uncomfortable night. Tuesday wasn't so bad because the pain was easing up. I still had my old man moments when I had to bend down to reach something, or if I sat down for too long. Also, the nurse added two Aleve's (or something non-ibuprofen-y) to my regimen, making the pain less and less intense. I'm just nervous now that the pain will linger until moving-in day, where it will refresh itself and rear its ugly head again. I'm praying that won't happen. So, yeah. There's my 5c story. The moral of this story? Don't do handstands all the time when you know you're not that good at them. One day it will backfire.

p.s.- 5c = awesome!

yttup yllis

You know what I love? Silly Putty. It's awesome. I heard someone made it as a rubber substitute during WW2, since there was a shortage. Turns out it is the best toy ever (beside Slinky's). It has many properties. It can stretch, but it can also break if you pull it really fast. If you stretch it out and put it on newspaper or pencil writing, it will copy a mirror image onto the silly putty. I suppose if there is enough ink there, you could re-stamp it somewhere else. I would always do that. They have color changing silly putty which changes colors as you play with it. It is heat activated, which makes sense. It happens with any kind of Silly Putty-- the more you play with it, the easier it gets to stretch and the warmer it gets. Sometimes it gets kinda hot and you have to put it down. That's not that much fun. I just found some Silly Putty and it was actually kind of stale. I have to warm it up. I think a good warming up session, with the addition of some of the natural oils from my hand, will make my Silly Putty as good as new. Maybe. I like that Silly Putty comes in eggs. I don't like it when silly putty gets stuck in the carpet. It's gross, because it doesn't come out easily. I like that Silly Putty isn't as sticky as gum. I like that you can break it apart and put it back together like it's as good as new. I don't like it when the Silly Putty people falsely advertise. I got some Silly Putty in a purple, sparkly egg. The putty inside was not purple or sparkly. It was normal colored and not sparkly. I was looking forward to purple putty. I was disappointed. It was a sad day. But now I'm over the fact that it wasn't what I originally wanted, and it's still good Silly Putty. If you will excuse me, I'm going to go play with my Silly Putty some more. The end.

i love my hair

When I was little, I used to gaze in amazement at the teenage girls in church as they ran their fingers through their long, silky hair and put it up in a ponytail without a brush and made it look so great. At the time, I would never have believed my hair could do that. I was at the shoulder-length, kid, "i'm outside all the time and don't have time to brush or condition my hair" stage. There's no way I could run my fingers through my hair, let alone put it up-- with or without a brush. My mom could put pigtails in it, but that was the extent of my hair styles. I went through a time in my later-kid/pre-teen years when I would brush it back into a ponytail almost every day. Always. I couldn't stand to have it down. I always go through stages like that with my hair-- when I either wear it solely up or solely down or solely in a half-ponytail or something. If I went to school with my hair down, it usually ended up in a ponytail or bun by the end of the day. As I've grown older, I've gotten better at dealing with my hair. I've found the way to put just enough hair in the half-ponytail so it won't hurt my head and won't look weird and won't accent my flyaways or frizziness. I've found a way to put up my hair in a ponytail without a brush and make it look loose and the ponytail part curl in just right. I've found the exact right way to work the hair band so the bun has a good messy-to-functional ratio. (So it looks cute but also stays in for a while.) Most recently, I've found how to make my hair look cute-ly sloppy (if that makes sense.) At least I think it looks cute. It's my favorite kind of hairdo. I'm wearing a sloppy side-bun right now. It's comfy and matches my long shorts and t-shirt look. So I am indeed like the girls I used to look up to at church.

I've always gotten compliments on the color of my hair. People always comment on the fact that it is such a pretty red, and that nobody else in my family has it and how weird that is. I used to get so mad when people called me strawberry blonde, because that would mean my hair is mostly blonde, which it is not. I'd correct them, saying that it was of an Oak-colored variety. It truly is Oak colored most of the time. In the winter, my hair looks auburn/brown most of the time. I worry if it's going to change forever and I will have lost my only claim to fame. (I like to be dramatic sometimes.) But then summer comes around, and I spend all my time in the sun and my hair does start to turn blonde. Especially the hair in my bangs-- my mom once asked if I had gotten it highlighted. It becomes very vibrant and alive in the summer, and that's when I like it the best.

I feel weird talking about how much I like my hair, but it's not like I have anything to do with it. It's there, and I happen to like it. I think the reason I haven't been turned off by my red hair like most redheads tend to do is because I didn't get the entire package. I don't have the skin of a redhead in the summer. Sure I get really pale in the winter, but I don't get sunburned and tons of freckles in the summer. I actually get a little bit tan. Sure, I have my share of freckles, but not nearly as much as would be expected.

So, the moral of the story today is that I enjoy being a redhead.

this is a haiku
today instead of a post
nothing else to write.

holy cow. i'm going to college.

I am getting minorly stressed out, mainly because I have to seriously downsize my posessions and buy new things for my dorm room. I have to move completely out of my room now and into the basement, I have to sort out which clothes I actually wear and which can be given away to Goodwill (or something), and I have to throw away all the crap that has been piling up over the past four years. It's gonna be crazy. But not too crazy. I know once I get settled in at college I'll be fine, and I know that I will never have not enough stuff for college, so I'll be good. I'm just a little nervous. I think the fact that my room is like a clothes-explosion makes it harder for me to focus. I haven't unpacked or done a load of laundry since I got back from Tahoe, and I'm running critically low on clothes. I'm pulling out the backup wardrobe.

But I have like 4 weeks to do this, so it won't be too bad. And I have more Cheerio time ahead of me (5c, anyone?) so that will be a relief. I can escape the stress there for a little bit.

I don't really have anything great to say.

Oh yeah, I need to shower. Badly.

sad face.

Okay. You guys know me pretty well. And if you don't, just look in the archives and I'm sure there's a post about what makes me cry. Two in particular that I want to concentrate on today in this post are: 1) when other people cry; and 2) when animals are in distress (i.e. the turtle commercial). That said, here's my post.

I cried a lot today when watching Whale Rider (the movie with Keshia Castle-Hughes). My mom was leaving to go somewhere and needed to tell me something, but the timing couldn't have been worse. Keshia had just given a tear-filled speech, so you know my eyes were tear-brimmed, and all the whales just got beached, and I paused it while one was dying. When mom asked what I was watching, I answered (in a shaky voice) "Whale Rider..." and then she said "Are you alright?" and then I burst out in a sobby cry "All the whales are dying!" I couldn't handle it. It was too much. It was like the volvo turtle commercial to the n-th degree. I just cried and cried and couldn't stop. I was a mess. It all ended up okay and I felt like it was a good cry. My mom has decided that I need to be an animal rescuer when I grow up. I might cry to much to have that job.

I was worried when I randomly bought Whale Rider that it wouldn't be good. I think Emmy told me it was good, and I saw it at Blockbuster when I was making a random, mass, pre-college DVD purchase so I thought why not? So I kept asking my family if they'd seen it or heard about it or wanted to watch it, but they had no feedback so I just took the chance and watched it. I'm glad I bought it now. It's one of those good movies that doesn't have a typical storyline or stereotypical characters or anything. It was really good. So even though it made me cry, it also made me happy. I felt restored or something randomly cheezy like that.

So the moral of this story is that I thought Whale Rider was good and I'm glad that it is a part of my College DVD collection. the end.

welcome to august

as well as some sort of summary of the summer. (haha. summary, summer, summer-y)

This was pretty much the most jam-packed of any of my previous summers. (I've only been home for 2 out of the 10 weeks of summer so far!) Each activity was different and great in its own way. I had a chance to interact with my different types of friends on all levels. Lets start from the very beginning (a very good place to start) :

Cheerio. What can I say? I love those people so so much. Spending six weeks with them was better than I could've asked for. I was sad to leave them, but my Cheerio family is one that will last for a long time. I will see these people again, and I am sure of it. And I wasn't as sad leaving Cheerio this particular year because I have to get ready to have fun in college, and I can't be sitting there being sad to leave these good friends when I know I'll meet more fun friends and a ton of them are going to be there anyway.

Week after Cheerio (at home). I spent practically every day with my MA friends, which was so much fun. We all know we'll be leaving each other for college, but we know we'll visit each other and keep in touch, and that those are not just empty promises. This hanging out for a week helped me get over Cheerio, too, because I wasn't going from being with fun people 24/7 to being completely void of their presence.

Hawaii. So beautiful and so wonderful to spend it with my extended family. We haven't had a get-together like that in a while, and Hawaii was the perfect setting for such an occasion. Going from such structured and non-stop action at Cheerio for so long to the complete antithesis at Hawaii with no responsibilities at all was a little weird to get used to. As was seeing the entire family there together again. Reestablishing our family dynamic with everybody there at the same time (almost) and all a lot older was a little bit odd for me. I was in a weird mood at the beginning of the trip randomly, but once I got over that mood, that silly reestablishing thing didn't really make sense anymore. But you guys have been with me long enough to know how much I overanalyze things. To a fault. So, yeah. Can I just tell you how beautiful Hawaii was? Our condos were in such a chill environment... you stepped outside of our door to the pool and then a few feet away was a small beach. We didn't have to pack up and make a big trip to the beach all together, we could just wake up whenever we wanted and lie around all day. (lay? lie? who knows.) SCUBA was fun, but I expected to see more sea life than I did. Turtle Town? Come on. I think I heard someone call it Turtle Ghost Town. Eh, whatever. It was fun being under the sea for a while. It just so happened that the dives that us kids decided to opt out of were the best ones. Hawaii was awesome.

Mountain Lodge (Tahoe). I like to make this analogy to people who are familiar with Cheerio-- Cheerio : Cheerio Adventures :: Young Life Camps : Mountain Lodge. They took away our watches and waited until the last possible minute to tell us our activity for the day. I ended up with some sort of minor injury from each day (if you count sunburn as a minor injury). After an obstacle course (kinda) at Donner Lake, we went kayaking on the Truckee. Jill and I managed to stay in our Kayaks the whole time until we reached the second half of the very last rapids. I ended up with three scrape/bruise combinations on one half of my body, one of which made it hard to sit down (if you catch my drift). The second day, hiking, left my feet a bit achey and my muscles a bit sore. But the view from Castle Peak was definitely worth it. The third day, on Tahoe, I don't really count as an injury. My elbows and arm muscles hurt from tubing, but we all know how that goes. The fourth day was definitely the most injury-prone, what with Mountain Biking and Boarding. Just general soreness came from Biking- a result of my low cardiac fitness, I'm sure. Boarding produced minor scrapes all over my body as well as a seemingly bruised tailbone. It definitely hurt a lot that night. The last day, Friday, was the most fun, I think. We jumped off a little cliff into freeeeezing cold water and then walked up the river to this gorgeous natural pool where we jumped off the cliffs some more and tried to dam up the river (which was cold and was probably snow a few days before). We managed to blow the record out of the water. I was so sad to leave Mountain Lodge. I only knew 10 other people (boys, no less) going in, but I became close friends with all of the people by the end. Bonding with the people on such a deep and spiritual level left me so sad when I left. I mean, honestly, what are the chances I'll see these particular people from Arizona and California again? Slim to none. Except for Joe, who's going to App. So. I said I'd summarize Tahoe but it's proving harder and harder to leave things out. It was amazing. I wish I were still there. But I'm excited to keep going with my life, because I know I'll meet cool people like that at more YL things I do in the future. The end of this part of the story.

And now I'm home. I have to unpack and do laundry and weed out all of the clothes I never wear before and move my stuff to the basement and pack for college and all that fun stuff. But it's going to be fun because I'll be in college. Yayy!!

Ok. The end.

short post from an internet cafe in Maui!! Hawaii is great- scuba diving and lying out and general fun things of that nature. up next is Tahoe! I'll be back on August 1st, guys, so don't get too depressed.

xoxo
emma

there's that thunder again

I'm not very good at packing. I pack too much or too little, and I don't have very good suitcases. It's hard to pack for two consecutive and quite different vacations. Hawaii and Tahoe require different clothing. It's also difficult to organize with a duffel.

So this weird thing has been happening to me lately. I'll think of random poetic lines that describe what is going on around me. For example: fireflies. One time they looked really pretty at Cheerio so I thought of a random line for a poem, but I never want to finish the poem. I'm not a poet so I would ruin the moment if I tried to capture it. Same with pictures. I'm not a photographer so I spend more time being frustrated that I can't capture the moment than I do actually appreciating the moment. Then I listen to John Mayer and it makes me feel happy again. 3x5... I'm hearin' ya, John.

I think this has been happening because of my lack of mental outlet. I'm so used to blogging that I get a bit weird without it. Musings with Emma at camp was kindof like blogging, but I had to make it funny and I had to edit it and it had to be about stuff that everybody can relate to. It was still fun, though. Sometimes it sucked and nobody laughed and I felt like a loser, but other times it was fun and I made people laugh (which was my goal for the summer).

I am ready for college. I'm ready for the experience. Good or bad, over or underrated, boring or exciting, scary or tons of fun, or a mixture of everything, I want to experience it. It's weird, like my mind hasn't settled on the fact that things are going to be different next year. This step seems so natural. I always imagined it as some far off and distant land which will be totally new and scary and different. As it's gotten closer, I've realized that's not the case. It's just the next step in my life. And my bestest friends that I have right now won't be too far away. And I'll make new bestest friends. Because it's inevitable. Yay!!

now that's what i call a chaco tan

Thunder in the mountains sounds so much deeper.

and now for some musings...

And I'm back.

I have been since Saturday, but my mind has been running too fast to be able to sit down and post. Now that my room is clean and it's cloudy outside, I can finally calm myself down. It's hard to concentrate with a room that still needs to be cleaned.

Cheerio aftermath hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Shmims suggested it might be this way because we are about to go off to college; we can look forward to meeting more people and having fun. I ditched the GSW reunion (which was also the last day of Cheerio) mainly because I didn't want to try and shove my Cheerio feelings aside that quickly. And also because I didn't miss everybody that much to pay $20 to see them. Everyone says that Gov's School is the best summer of their life, but they've never experienced Cheerio. Or any camp, for that matter. I also ditched the reunion because I was too emotional and tired. I came home and upon realizing that my new swimsuits weren't exactly the right size, I just sat on my bed and cried. I needed a nap (n^2 and stargazing on the last night kept me up too late) but I really needed to get unpacked. So I dumped everything in my room and have been tripping over it ever since. But today it's clean, thank goodness.

So. Cheerio. It was wonderful. I love all of my friends there and had the most wonderful time. There are many inside jokes, but I'll leave them like that- inside. It had its hard times and awkward times right along with the awesomely fun times. I'm really glad I got to get paid to have so much fun. I also enjoyed the campers- being used to 12-year-olds all summer, I was nervous about having the 14-year-olds, but it was just as much fun. The girls were great.

It's hard to write everything down. So I won't. Let's just say I'm sad to be gone but glad to be back. "To everything turn, turn, turn..." you know.

Surprisingly, I've been hanging out with my friends every night since I got back. This week just so happened to work well for everyones schedules, so we're all free to just chill. It's really awesome. I'm looking forward to Hawaii and Tahoe, too.

Ok, now I'm just rambling. Too much to say, not enough to say about it all, not enough attention span.

e-haus is where it's at.

I love camp. This summer is so far ridiculously awesome. Except we kinda have mean girls in our cabin, but they'll be ok. They like me so they listen to me. Too bad they might've stolen my CIT's iPod. One day at a time is what I say. Other than that, they're just normal twelve-year-olds who are a little selfish. Twelve-year-olds are the new thirteen-year-olds. It's true.

In other news, my feet are the tannest part of my body. My chaco tan makes it look like my feet are just dirty. but it's really tan!

I like porch time. We get to sit out on the porch of our cabin and stay up late while our campers sleep, and one counselor has to be on the porch at all times. When I'm not making prank calls to my porchmates' friends or writing silly Camper Development forms, I'm off visiting everybody or checking my email. We have some seriously fun times. But when we can't go off porch, we never really get any visitors. Eh, what can you do.

I'm blogging in my free period because I'm bored! yay!! I'm going to go lie on my bed.

love,
emma

This place is so ridiculously gorgeous. I can barely take in the gorgeous view. It astounds me every day. A picture would not even do it justice. Nothing except seeing it in person works. The lights are so small and the mountains are so vast and big and blue and the clouds are so flat and, when the sun goes down, they look like cotton candy. The trees are accented by the fluffy cumulous clouds and the green grass looks even greener. I can't really describe it, but I love it more than anything else in the world right now.

The stars are so beautiful, too. Campout night was awesome, just sleeping under the stars and looking at their beauty. I woke up at like 3 AM and put on my glasses and appreciated it for like 2 seconds and then fell right back to sleep- content that I witnessed the beauty. I wanted to get my star map, but people made fun of me. That doesn't normally stop me, but I was tired. Star map or no star map, the stars are so amazing. Awe inspiring.

With views like these, how can we blame it all on science? There has to be something more. Galileo, I agree.

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me! happy birthday to meeeeeeeee.... happy birthday to me.


the big 1-8. w00t!

bloop bloop bloop

I'm on my free period so I thought I'd type. Umm, but there's nothing to say.

Lifeguards are the elite.

Belaying is awesome.

Molly-Meredith Burkhart is swinging on a chair.

It doesn't make sense, see? I'll update later.

Emma Refvem- Iroquois
Camp Cheerio
1430 Camp Cheerio Road
Glade Valley, NC
28627

write to me. don't be bashful. i swear i'll write back. seriously.

Tomorrow until July 9th, kids.

my valedictory speech.

"Hello Everyone... like, honored guests and all that... (goldwasser's note: you botched that one...)

Vanilla Ice once said: 'Alright stop, collaborate and listen. Ice is back with my brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn of the lights, and I glow. To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal; light up the stage and wax the chump like a candle.'

Just kidding, I won't make you sit through Vanilla Ice. Here's my real speech.

You know how everyone goes home saying that they're going "back to their roots?" Well maybe there's more to that saying than we initially realize. I personally used to cringe at the thought of having only one place to stay my entire life. Roots are stuck in one place and don't really allow for much exploration. But when I got to thinking about it in AP Biology class one day, I realized that there is a whole lot more to this whole root analogy. Mr. Bodnar was talking about how the roots are essential to the survival of the plant. Instead of listening to Mr. Bodnar, I started thinking. Roots are where the plant gets its nutrients; home is where we gather what we need to go out into the world. Whether we want to admit it or not, we listen to some of the advice our parents give us. Roots anchor and support the plant; home gives us a place to fall back on when our plans don't turn out exactly the way we intend. Home grounds us, but also allows us to grow and change and go out into the world. Mount Airy is where the class of 2005 has roots. This high school will be the foundation for the rest of our lives-- we've learned so much in its dilapidated walls. For example: I learned from Mr. Dickson some excellent hand exercises to use on long essays, from Mr. Bretz that plants are the dominant organisms and that squashes are, in fact, sexy. From Dr. Dobbs I learned that aluminum is really spelled with an "i"-- to be pronounced "aluminium" and from Mr. Bodnar that I learned that I definitely do not want to be a possum on his front porch. From Mr. Castillo I learned that "a picture is worth a thousand words" and Mrs. Gray taught me how to "factor that rascal." I'm sure we all remember the quadratic formula from Mrs. Martin's nifty song. By now I think that we've finally learned what we're actually allowed to wear to school and also that our new superintendent has quite a good sense of humor. I learned when to avoid the Library and exactly where the senior parking line was drawn and how to run up three flights of stairs in one minute to avoid getting a tardy and which lunches to avoid in the cafeteria. More importantly, I've learned the value of true friendships. The ones that will stick by you while ignoring all of the ever popular "drama" that seems to plague high schools are those that will be valuable forever. No matter how suffocated and trapped we may feel here, Mount Airy has filled us with pieces of our personality that will ground us and support us and give us the motivation we need to grow and go out into the world. No matter where our paths may lead- to explore the far off corners (editor's note: pronounced "carners" at graduation b/c i was distracted by someone yelling to let tereka know that he was there.), to defend our country in the military, to become a vital link in the work force, to expand our knowledge even further in college or even to become rock stars-- we all have this common ground here in Mount Airy. No matter how much we may change, the knowledge we've attained here will be the connector that allows us to hang out just like no time has past. So, Class of 2005, be free! Explore the world and find your niche while you are young. Always remember that, even if you don't want to ever see this place again, Mount Airy is your foundation and will always be a part of you. Congratulations. Holy cow guys, we made it!"


i said all of that- including the vanilla ice. matthew welker told me he'd pay me five dollars if i did it, but i was like "i don't need the five dollars. i'm gonna do it anyway." i had told people i would do it, but then i decided that i really wanted to lighten the mood or something so i did it. goldie was freaking out in her seat b/c she thought i had changed my whole speech. hehe.

a bit of third person for your liking

Emma had been wandering around her house for days with nothing to do. Nothing at all to do- at. all. She had a sinking feeling that she should be doing something, a remnant of the feelings that plagued her for the entire school year. If she really would sit down to think about it, she would see that there were no deadlines and no responsibilities because this is summertime. So she watched some Dawson's Creek and wandered around the internet for a while before deciding to trek over to North South street for a while.

Peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich in hand, she made the journey to Bray's Recapping service for multiple reasons. One had to do with the fact that her oil needed to be changed 6 or 7 hundred miles ago and her car had recently been making sounds that would alert any normal person of certain demise. The other was just a routine tire-rotation. So she dropped it off at the friendly and somewhat podunk mechanic's and walked up to deliver the yummy lunch to her starving mother at the high school. She then hung out with the English teachers for a while whose respective demeanors had taken a drastic change for the brighter since the end of school less than 24 hours ago at the time.

The next hour was spent sitting outside of Bray's, talking to whichever mechanics happened to stop by. Dean Bray then made conversation with her for a while, friendly and reminiscent of how small-towns are usually stereotyped. Her experience with this stereotype wasn't negative; in fact, she realized the charm of small towns in that moment. She considered getting angry about the ridiculous wait she was experiencing, but then realized that she had nowhere to be and nobody to get mad at since most of them seemed honestly sorry to be taking a while. Plus, nobody likes an annoying customer. For that one hour, it didn't really matter that she might be late coming home which might make her sister have to take on the driving responsibilities presented by Jill and Charlotte's need to be in Pilot.

She wasn't late, much to the joy of Kate, and ended up making the trek to Pilot and back. At about 4:49 she started on her way to Chile Verde to meet up with her Senior Leader friends for one last dinner get-together before they all parted ways for the summer. It was a fun dinner, they sat outside so they could be as loud and free to talk as they wanted. It's fun times like this that she will miss about her Senior year. Not all of the silly drama and ugly homework, but the fun and carefree hanging out. She unfortunately had to cut out early on the hanging out- missing the trip for ice cream in favor of going to SCUBA class.

The class itself wasn't bad, it was being underwater in that dirty, dirty, disgusting, nearly vomit-inducing RCC pool water that really got to her. Only one more class and 4 quarry-dives to go on until she can finally be set loose to explore tropical waters, though. Once at home she wrote some thank-you notes and ate some delightful raspberry pie while anxiously awaiting the announcement of our 2005 American Idol. Carrie Underwood it is! She knew it all along. Her faith in this "country girl with heart" was never shaken. Sure, the rocker could've won, but it just seemed unlikely. The votes previously grabbed by Vonzell would surely go to Carrie. She wasn't that attached to this season, though, because it came on during the timeslot of Gilmore Girls. She does owe her alliegance to House somewhat to American Idol, because House came on immediately after the singing extravaganza and she'd watch it with her family. Ahh, Primetime TV. It takes a little planning, but optimal viewing experience can be obtained.

She now sits at her computer and thinks about the joy she will be experiencing in T minus 6 days when she will be at Cheerio. But first she has to get through Graduation- a monumental task indeed.