As I get further and further into College decisions and things of that nature, Carolina keeps on rising up on my list. I originally didn't want to go there because I didn't want to go where 'everyody else' went. So I said no way. But then I realized that it was a really good college. Another pro is that Shmimmy and I will room together (!!!) if we both go there. Yet another pro is that I got the Morehead (sp?) Scholarship nomination (along with Alex... there's a funny story there, maybe another blog). I don't expect to win this nomination, because I know for a fact that I am not one of the 25 smartest kids in North Carolina. I don't have high hopes, but I do hope to make it past the first round. I think I can do that. But anyway. That's another pro. Another convincing point is that it is cheap. I hate spending too much money. I feel really guilty, and I don't want that feeling about the college that will ultimately play a huge role in my future. Dad finally admitted that the Corrolla that I currently have is really ghetto and he would think about getting me a new one but he also is thinking about how he is supposed to pay for Duke or Wake or Stanford. So if I go to Carolina, I might get a used car, and that is a hefty pro. Also, I think that if I wanted to go to Graduate School, I could go to a place like Duke or Stanford or Wake for that. It would be just as good. And I'm also thinking that I don't have to go to a big school like that to feel smart. I am not the smartest ever, just pretty smart. I don't even try to think that I'm the smartest ever. I'm most likely not the smartest person in our school. So why do I need to go to a huge school? I probably don't want to go to an expensive college to get a good education that I won't even use. I don't even know what I want to be yet. I just want to be happy with a job that I like and a life that I like. I don't even really like school all that much. I want to have fun. I don't think I want to have to worry about grades for four more years. I don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer. I want to enjoy my life to the fullest. I don't think that is settling, do you? I think Carolina is a good choice. I sound like I'm justifying why I can go to Carolina. I think I just want to get into the other colleges to see that I could go there if it was what I really wanted, but maybe I don't really actually want to go there. Does that make sense?

I don't think I handle stress very well.

I have a cold. I want to sleep. We have a big Calculus test tomorrow.

But it will be Friday. Halleluia.