sweet like candy to my soul... sweet you rock and sweet you rollll

Some days I feel like getting out of this house, but on days like today, I just want to sit around and not really do anything at all. The only time I ventured out was to go with kate to get a spiced chai latte (which was GLORIOUS) and chat, and then I came right back and kept on doing nothing. It's really fun. I'm not sure if my family appreciates it as much, though, because my stir-crazy self kicks in. I was playing around with salt and pepper on my dinner plate, I kept asking mom why "deal or no deal" wasn't coming on (as well as asking if every tv show that came on was deal or no deal, like this "IS THIS ONE DEAL OR NO DEAL?? YAYAYAYAY! oh, guess not.") I just feel a little crazy sometimes. Mom thinks it's funny. I like days when I could go the whole day in my p.j.'s. The only reason I'm not wearing them now is because Kate made me get dressed. Silly Kate.

Being home for Christmas after only one semester of college is a little weird. I mean, it's fun, but it almost feels like I never moved away. I have no school work, and no car, and I am hanging out with my high school buddies like it's summer again. The only difference is that we all have our new groups of friends waiting for us when we get back. I think it's kind of cool. How does that quote go? We can grow separately without growing apart. We're already a little bit more mature than we were in high school, and even the most immature of us can see how silly high schoolers can be.

Well I'm off to bed. Adios, amigos!

a dragonfly can fly backwards as fast as it can fly forwards.

That is just amazing! I got that from the book that Erchica gave to me for Christmas. It's my kind of book. I found it funny that the first fact I read from the book was one that I already knew! That just goes to show you that I use "incredibly useless facts" on an everyday basis. It says that this book (titled Bla Bla) is "something to talk about when you have nothing else to say." Seriously, I always have something to say, but usually because I'm already chock-full of these silly facts. They are great conversation starters. YAY THANKS, ERIKA! I LOVE THIS BOOK. The end.

merry Christmas!!!

I love this day. I hope you love it too. Other things I love are Christmas songs in general, but "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" especially. I really really love the version by Sixpence None the Richer. That's a band that I really like. Them and the Goo Goo Dolls. They have a really cool Christmas song out, too. I somehow just recently realized my love for both of those bands. They're just good.

Among my Christmas presents is the Freaks and Geeks complete series set. I watched the first episode, and I'm really excited about having it. It's just a good show. Another Christmas present worthy of noting is the hat given to me by Kate. Hats usually don't fit me and I end up getting depressed at the gargantuousness of my head. This hat, however, is different and fits me and looks cute!! Now my head can be warm when walking to class. Yay! All of my presents were very good. I like this "quality vs. quantity" outlook that my family seems to be tending towards. I guess it's part of us getting older. I think my disillusionment stage is over, and now I can accept Christmas for what it is now instead of how it usually was in the past.

I have missed blogging. I know it's been few and far between, but I think that's a part of me not being settled yet. Or being in college. Who knows. All I know is that I enjoy writing random commentary on parts of my life, but I don't know how frequent it's going to be. Of course I won't give this old thing up, because it is a part of my life that I love. I'm so sentimentally attatched to a blog. Being attatched to an electronic collection of my thoughts seems funny when I think about it, but I am. And now I think I'm rambling.

Once again, merry Christmas! I hope you had a day full of joy and fun and fellowship with your family. I did, and it was fun. Next is the new year!!! Yay for 2006!

aaaaaaaand i'm back.

I've resurfaced from exam week with hardly a scratch to be seen. I got all A's (with a few A minuses sprinkled in for extra flavor), with an overall GPA of 3.86. Not too shabby for my first semester of college at Carolina, if you ask me. Yay!

Now that Christmas break is in full swing, all I really want to do is sleep. Forever. Somehow I haven't been able to sleep past 9:00 yet since I've been home. That streak will hopefully end tomorrow.

Wow. I wanted to write but I'm entirely too tired. Just jotting down a note to let you know that I'm still alive.

xoxo
emma

umm, wow.

I have not updated in 10 days, and for that I apologize. Finals week has taken over my life. I didn't know it would be this bad! I have not yet succumbed to the ever-popular Aderol or caffeine highs. I have had 2 exams already and have my last one tomorrow at noon. The hardest was last Saturday (yuck! the day after classes ended!), then the next hardests was on Tuesday, and now the easiest is on Friday. They've been successively easier, which made me very very happy.

So now I'm going to go study Sociology. Soon it will be Christmas break!!! Happy Holidays!

brrrrrrrrrrrrr

Today it was so cold! Except in Chapel Hill it isn't snow weather. Well poopy.

Let me just tell you, I look hilarious in my cold-rain attire. Starting from the bottom, here we go:

• Blue/purple striped rainboots from Target. They are so great because they are warm and they don't get wet on the inside! I can stomp through all the puddles while others have to walk around them so their New Balance's don't get squishy. Silly New Balances.Those people should invest in rainboots.
• Jeans. Ok, that's the normal part. But they were tucked into the rainboots, which looked hilarious in my opinion.
• Big L.L. Bean Jacket. It's big and purple and fun.
• White mittens from Target. Mittens just look funny on people. I'm not exactly sure why, but they do.
• A headband/ear-warming thing from Target. It makes me look funny. Especially because nobody else walking around seems to be as bundled up as I am. I checked the weather, and it was cold, and getting colder! 37 degrees is clearly wintry weather.
• My UNC umbrella. I bought it today because my raincoat normally gets soaked through, walking all the way up from South Campus in the pouring rain and all.

I know this outfit might not seem so ridiculous, but when I get inside, it just gets funnier. Everyone is already settled and I look like I'm bustling in out of the arctic. Silly me.

I want it to snow already! yay snow!!!

hark the sound...

I am pretty much in love with the Carolina Basketball team. I wasn't really a fan at all before I came here-- the only school spirit I had was a little bit because I knew I would be coming here. Now I could explode with the stuff. I love watching basketball! I love knowing everything about the players. I didn't even know I was a sports fan until I came here. I made it a goal of mine to really pay attention to the games so I could talk basketball fluently with people who I already knew were fans. It's amazing. We just beat Kentucky, which really made my day. They're ranked #10 while we aren't even ranked! (because we are such a young team)

The basketball players' celebrity is also weird for me because I say that I like them in the same way that I like Jake Gyllenhaal or something. It's weird for me, then, when I see them on campus and remember that they're my age and there isn't as huge of a barrier for my getting to know them. It freaks me out a little. Like, I don't like Tyler Hansbrough because he's hot, but mainly because I randomly decided to make him my favorite player. It's also hard to pick a favorite player because they are all so wonderful at their own things.

Carolina fans are so crazy that they will wake up ridiculously early in the morning to stand outside in the freezing cold to get basketball tickets. I was at the Dean Dome this morning at 6:45 am to sign in with my bracelet, then I left and slept for like 3 hours in my dorm room, and then came back to stand in line to get 2 nose-bleed tickets to the Miami game. That was all they had left because my bracelet number was like 3,000 off the Magic Number. That's why I hate lotteries-- I never win. But it's all good. I'm sure I can find good tickets somewhere at some point. Who knows.

So, yeah. Go Tar Heels!!!

hmm

I was going to write a long post overanalyzing feelings, but I realized that I just wanted to get a basic thing down on my blog so that I could just move on and forget about it.

It's weird when you think you knew someone so well and then all of a sudden you change things, and then it's weird from then on. As if the friendship never happened. Do they ever think about how it used to be? It's not like the fact that we aren't "friends" anymore cancels out all that we knew about each other at one point.

Weird. Those feelings are interesting. I thought I was weird for thinking those thoughts, as if my thinking them indicated that I wasn't over the situation. I am completely over it in the sense that I know it will never go back to the way it was, and now that I've grown as a person I wouldn't want things to go back. I don't know. I just think about it sometimes.

I guess this is just me dealing with things. I knew it had to happen some time.

It happened.

I turned into a college student! As of right now, I have $7.61 in my checking account, I just finished my homework that is due at 2:00, I'm about to take a nap in the library, and I wasted a ridiculous amount of time on Facebook last night when I should've been sleeping. I never thought I'd see the day! Here are the reasons why I thought I could escape the stereotype.

1) I am good with money. I would always have about $100 padding in my checking account so that it was there if I really needed it, and I wouldn't have to worry about overdrawing. Somewhere along the line, that $100 disappeared and now I wait until my allowance comes in to spend money. I could always put the $100 buffer back in, but now, being a college student, I'd probably just spend it on random stuff and then my savings account would slowly drain away like my checking. I'm still good at budgeting my money, and I always have a good idea of how much I have in my account and what I should be spending it on. I've actually become a better judge of when to spend money, and I don't do it as frivolously as before.

2) Even though I am the worst procrastinator in the world, I still get things done the day before so that I'm not so stressed out before the class. But that was just High School. Now I add in time right before the class to get work done. The concept was pretty foreign to me at first, but now it seems normal.

3) Ok, the nap might not actually materialize, but I never thought I'd be this big of a proponent of the library. I mean, it's great. Its walls hold many important works that should help me in my studies, and it provides a good atmosphere conducive to studying, but I always thought I could just do my work in my room. Not so, my friends. At home, perhaps my room could double as a study room. Not at college. It's almost impossible for me to get any good work done in my room. I don't have any desk space and there are far too many distractions. I came a lot to do Chem Lab, it's really good for that. And when I need to just get work done in a big chunk, being at the library is a real help. Who knew?

4) When I first got Facebook, I wondered how people could find it so addicting. I mean, it's just a bunch of profiles and once you've seen your friends' once, you don't need to see it again. Oh boy. That was before Facebook did pictures and before I discovered Facebook stalking. Webshots is a huge facet of the appeal of AOL, and the fact that it is now in such a convenient form is quite awesome. Or horrible. Depending on how you look at it. It's like webshots to the extreme! Facebook stalking is also amazing, finding people and how you know them and trying to figure out everything about people you meet or who are in your class. And then there's wall writing. Lets just say that I never expected it to reach this level, but I am definitely addicted to facebook.

So, yeah. I'm a stereotypical college student. The funny thing is, I love it. Absolutely love it. I've been looking forward to this all through high school, and now it's here and I'm soaking up every minute of it. Every lovely detail of college is my favorite. It's hard to explain some parts of it, but I just love it. I was made for college. Yay! Even though I'm stressed because of exams, I am surrounded by tons of people, some of which are amazing, and the others of which I don't even have to care about. And then after that, I get to go home and hang out with no worries whatsoever until spring semester, and then I go back to the stereotype (this time with better classes). Woo! I'm going to rest my eyes a bit before my 2:00 class now. Zai Jian!

Tests stress me out more than just plain work. If I have a certain quantity of work that can be measured and has to be done by a certain date, I can do it. If I just have to study until I know something, I always stop before I should. Umm, so yeah. I want it to be Christmas already.

i am thankful for:

my wonderful old friends who love me
the lovely new ones i'm making
my family who loves me
my health
my life
goldfish & gushers
being able to go to a wonderful university to learn
having all five senses so that i can fully appreciate everything in the world that God put out there for me to enjoy
having a bright future ahead of me full of so much that i can't even imagine yet
wonderful food to eat and stuff my belly with on fun days like this
soft sheets
and so so much more!

thank you, God! it's amazing and i love it. all of it!

Oh sweet release!

I hate assignments that involve more than me just researching and finishing things on my own. I'm talking about ones like this one for Enst 35 that has been a huge weight on my shoulders for so long. Part of the assignment includes conducting an interview with someone in the North Carolina Forestry world who knows about invasive species. I hate having to actually talk to people. I feel stupid! But worst of all, I hate having to constantly worry about reaching someone, sending out countless emails and leaving countless messages, sounding like a complete and stupid idiot on the phone... I just hate feeling inferior and interviews make me feel inferior. I just talked to this guy for an interview, and he said he'd answer my questions and give me good links for research which made me really happy. It is a HUGE weight off my shoulders. But then I found out that Andy is interviewing him too. Silly Andy. So there's another guy but I need to think of hardcore questions to ask him to get the full potential out of the interview. I guess I'm learning how to be an adult and apply my learning instead of just choking and puking, but I'm so good at choking and puking. Poo. I hate feeling stupid. And I don't kwow why, but I just felt stupid for doing these interviews. My Environment class makes me feel stupid. Great. But I actually do feel like I'm learning, which is a new and welcome experience. I don't know. I just want this case study interview to be over. I was polite and probably sounded intelligent, it's just my first ever interview and I feel like the guys I'm interviewing can tell. I kept emailing within the department, and they probably were talking like "We should probably stop ignoring that stupid girl so that she'll stop sending us her emails." But maybe they think I'm nice and feel sorry for me. I don't know. I just want to have easy classes like math and chemistry and geology. Not classes that I need to apply critical thinking skills. Haha, just kidding. But really. It's so stressful and all I want to do is sleep forever. Christmas break can't come soon enough.

rah rah carolina-lina

This whole "college" thing is starting to sink in. It's starting to get past the stage in which everything is new, and I'm actually starting to believe that I'm going to be here for four more years. This is the beginning of my future. This is where I'll get all the knowledge I'll need to be a functioning member of society. It feels good to start thinking for myself. I think it's all sinking in because I'm realizing more and more that the life in MA doesn't involve me anymore. I mean, it's a little depressing, but not that much. Like, this weekend, I had a schedule all to myself that was completely different than my sisters' at home. I know it's been like that ever since I've gotten here, but I feel like I'm entering that part where I don't know what they're doing and they don't know what I'm doing. It's my independent life now. It's just weird that I'm consciously recognizing it happening. Ok, enough weirdness.

This weekend was fun! Friday night I went with the College Life kids to Chili's and then some of us went and hung out in Allan's room for a bit. It was fun, but I was tired and had to peace out early. Then yesterday I went to the football game and the basketball game. We lost by a field goal in overtime at the football game and that was so depressing. But we won the basketball game by like 30 so that was un-depressing. It was good to sit down at the basketball game after standing up for like forever at the football game. And I like basketball a lot. I got to see big ol' Tyler Hansbrough dunk... and get intentionally fouled by this guy from Catawba. He was a jerk. I felt so bad for Tyler when he was on the ground! It looked like it hurt. The announcer had to calm the crowd down when we kept booing the guy that fouled him later on in the game. "Number 44 made a mistake, let it go..." It made me laugh a little bit. So, that was fun. Then I came back to the room and chilled out and went to bed early so that I could survive waking up for the early service of church today. 8:10 is very early to leave for church. But I survived.

I'm sad that I missed the boat on the best concerts this year. First Coldplay, then Nickel Creek last night. I love those bands! Too bad I didn't know about them. I have to get better at concert-spotting. There will come a good concert that I will be able to see... one of these days.

Ok, now it's off to my 3rd Carolina sporting event of the weekend-- a soccer game. What a fan I've become!

83 degrees on november 9th? amazing.

So today I got new jeans. "Hot pants" if you will. No more is Emma Refvem a one-jeaned girl. I have two pairs. This drastically expands my wardrobe, so that I don't have to wear swetpants every day of the week to "save" my jeans for the weekends. I believe that reflects more on my lazy clothes-washing habits than on my lack of clothing, but whatev. I like having new jeans. I need to break them in. I love a good pair of jeans, most definitely.

You know what else I love? Emails from long-lost best friends. That's right-- I recieved one from Emmy today! Emmy Christina Albrecht Tedder. My long lost love. I miss that kid so much and it's good to hear that she hasn't disappeared off the face of the earth. She's a cool kid.

I also love being silly. I got to do a lot of that at Windy Gap this past weekend. I was a baker in the kitchen with Ms. Amy Stelling and we had a fun fun time. We braided bread! I got burnt on my arm from the cookie sheet! (it's okay because the cookies were good and i enjoy scars.) It was amazing. Windy Gap this time was a time for bonding with and loosening up around my new College Life friends. As our time in College Life goes on, I love it more and more. It was different to be on work crew instead of with the other kids or as a leader, but the adjustment taught me some lessons about what being a leader is all about. It's going to be a fun growing experience.

It's too bad that I procrastinate a lot at school because all I really want to do is start reading novels again. I bought "Life of Pi" and I absolutely cannot wait to start reading it. It looks quite interesting. I miss the thrill of being in someone else's mind for the short amount of time I spend reading the book. I feel like I can add those experiences to my own and it feels nice. So I can't wait to get all caught up on schoolwork.

The weather has been beautiful and really warm for November, and my mood has lifted along with the increments on the thermometer. Just another validation of the fact that I probably have Seasonally Affected Depression. When this cold snap comes, I'll probably get a little bit depressed. But that is also exacerbated by my sucky schedule. I want it to be next semester. I like the classes that I will have. More my style of classes.

Speaking of classes, I must study chinese. Zai jian, folks! (that means goodbye)

i am sad because both of my kitties died while i was away at college.

someone please save us, us college kids

I apologize for slacking on my blogging as of late. I find my time occupied by class, studying, hanging out, sleeping, and FACEBOOK. Oh the facebook will be the death of me. I'm trying to curb my addiction-- we'll see how that goes.

So Halloween was... an experience. It was fun to see all the costumes-- the most memorable to me were the phonebooth and characters from Bill & Ted's excellent adventure and tetris pieces. There were more, but I forgot them. There was an abundance of Anchorman crews (one of which I was a member-- Veronica Corningstone) and Team Zissous and facebooks and quailmen, which were all funny. I saw a few iPod commercials too (bright posterboard behind them, black clothes, an iPod, it was cute). All in all, however, a sober Franklin Street was quite sketchy. Being around so many drunk people was crazy. Haha, drunk people. I had interesting conversations with drunk people that night, I got knocked over by one, and also decided to "escort" one around. A hilarious situation arose from one of the conversations, though the person involved in the situation may or may not have any idea. It was also cool to see so many people from my high school/county. Everyone comes to Chapel Hill for halloween! The bad thing about Halloween was the aftermath. I got a solid 5 hours of sleep that night, and had to go to my 8:25 class that morning. Lets just say that I don't function well at all on 5 hours (being accustomed to 8 and all), and was zoned out the entire day. To top it all off, I had to spend every extra moment in the Library to work on my Lab Report. I finally got the nap today that I'd been looking forward to all week, since I didn't have time before. Craziness. The pictures were priceless, though. As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words.

I am going to Windy Gap this weekend and can't be more pumped about it! We're going to ride down there in Nan's Durango and jam out to a mix I've just thrown together, complete with some oldies jams to dance around to. We've started a mini girl's bible study that is quite reminiscent of The Setup. We haven't named it yet, but I'm working on it. It's going to be very fun! I really enjoy fellowship like that. We all get each other and can grow from each other and it's just gonna be good. Besides that, Windy Gap is going to be amazing just because it's Windy Gap! I don't have to worry about registering (because of the lovely Meredith Bryson who's taken up that responsibility for me) and I will let myself forget about homework. That's a good sign.

So, college. It's going well. I'm learning how to handle myself, and learning a few things about myself, and learning some cool stuff in classes, too. Like Chinese. Who knew? I've learned that I don't enjoy putting clothes away. My parents have always known this, only now I realize it's importance. I've learned that I am really interested in Environmental Studies class, but I've found myself to be a slacker in it. For no particular reason. It's just a bit of a time management issue, but at least I like it! I might get a B in it, but I'm okay with that because I know that I love it and I know that I'm learning and I know that grades don't define my life. That's a bit of a slacker point of view, but I'm quite tired of caring about GPA. I think this class is my form of "sticking it to the man"-- the "man" being GPA. I don't need to get into a school before graduating, and I'm not planning on going to graduate school immediately after college, and I don't even know where I'm headed in the future. Really, the reason I'm okay with having a B is because I realize that I got off to a bad start. I think I need to get this out of the way so that I get back into the groove. Once this class is over, hopefully my itch to rebel will be out of my system. I might not even get a B, I might get an A! I did do extra credit and I do relatively well on my recitation grades. We'll see. I'm just resigned to the grade in that class.

It feels good to blog. I forgot the feeling, which is sad. I've had this thing for so dang long, it's almost insane. Haha, weird. Ok. Now I'm going to pack for WG. Adios, amigos!

BOO!




(i didn't make it, i just found it on google image.)

good morning!

And welcome to the end of Daylight Savings. Oh, it is a glorious end... One extra hour in which to sleep and fully prepare for the day. It would be nice to always have an extra hour in the day, but I suppose that once it got to be a norm, it wouldn't be as nice as if it were every once-in-a-while. The downfall to the end of daylight savings is that we aren't saving the daylight and therefore it gets darker earlier. In the winter, it's hard for me to fathom that it stays light so late in the summertime. I forget what summer is like and feel like winter is going on forever. But I know that summer will eventually come. And with winter comes bundling up and snow! That is going to be fun.

Oh boy. I never have anything to talk about. I'm becoming boring.

My schedule's going to be slightly harder next semester, I think. I'm going to have to register while at Windy Gap and hopefully too much won't go wrong.

Umm, Purple pens are amazing! I love them so much!

Yeah. I got nothin.

a forward, but hauntingly close to home

TO ALL THE TRUE CAMP PEOPLE OUT THERE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A CAMP "LIFER" IF.

Abnormality is a compliment.

ACA standards are met religiously.

All your coworkers could be clinically classified as either pyromaniacs,
multiple personalities, or obsessive compulsive.

Being at home makes you homesick.

Dressing up only involves slightly cleaner clothes.

Everything you have has your initials on it.

It's socially acceptable to cry in front of your boss.

Most of your stories start with "and then there was this one time, at
camp..."

On the job training includes "the Cup Game."

Peanut butter is its own food group.

Sandal/watch tan lines are a competition.

Screaming and running at the same time is a coveted skill.

Sharpies and duct tape are worth more than gold.

The following letters make sense: JC, CIT, ACA, AED, CPR, and WSI.

Using logic could get you in trouble.

Water cures all ills.

Camp has been over for 22 minutes, and you're already thinking about next
summer.

You are convinced that there is no way you can date someone who is not a
camp guy/girl, because no one else really understands.

You can burst into song about anything.

You can make anything out of duct tape, including band-aids.

You can make up a song about anything.

You can shampoo, wash, and shave your legs, etc in less than 5 minutes.

You can think of 50 ways to use a bandanna off the top of your head.

You can walk the woodsy paths at night without a flashlight.

You feel naked without a Walkie-Talkie strapped to your body.

You cell phone bill in the summer is very small because of reception issues.

You don't think non-camp people can understand your summer job.

You've made friends with the "office people" or the camp nurse just so you
have a place to hang out.

You eat ketchup with everything.

You ever wonder why camp people give the best hugs.

You go to college just to fill time between summers.

You have a camp set of clothes.

You have a collection of outfits for theme weeks.

You have about 20 mosquito bites in 1 square inch of skin.

You have an entire volume of camp-friendly mixed CDs.

You have ever tried to dance inside a moving vehicle.

You don't do this for the money - and you mean it.

You have no clue what's on TV until mid-September, cause you never watch it
at camp.

You have to routinely prevent yourself from shouting, "walk, please!" or
"where's your buddy?" at random kids at the mall/at the grocery store/etc.

You know all 753 1/2 verses of "Boom-Chica Boom."

You know exactly how to get to camp from home by car, boat, plane or any
other means of transportation.

You know that laughter, hiccups, sneezes, itching, and yawns are contagious.

You can be blindfolded and lost in a remote location - and you'll still know
exactly how to get to camp.

You were disappointed to find that you cant major in "camp."

You never refuse free food.

You refer to your campers as YOUR kids.

You relate better to people 10 years younger or 10 years older than you than
to your actual age group.

You save anything and everything campers have ever made for you.

You still enjoy the same songs you did at 5 years old.

You value the friendship bracelet you got at carnival last summer more than
any other piece of jewelry.

You write song parodies for fun.

Your "real-world" friends have ever limited you to only 5 camp stories a
day.

Your barter system relies on hugs, backrubs, and chocolate exchanges.

Your car won't start until all seatbelts are buckled.

Your closer with your coworkers than with your own family.

You long for bug juice in winter.

Your friends know you're never home from June till September.

Your idea of a good song starts with the words "This is a repeat after me
song."

Your primary method of diplomatic resolution is rock, paper, and scissors.

Your tan lines are also your dirt lines.

Your teachers know you as a camp person.

Your voice quality at the end of the week is inversely proportionate to how
good it was.

Your water bottle and windbreaker are as essential as your underwear.

Your year only has two seasons. (Summer and Non-summer)

You've ever given up time off to comfort a crying camper.

You've ever had to read a policy on bathroom usage.

You've ever written a paper about camp for a class.

You refer to all your friends as "dude" even though you live no where near
the west coast.

You've used your frozen Nalgene as an icepack.

You've written down the camp address instead of your own.

You know exactly who you're going to pass this email onto...

I am stressed by school and depressed by the weather (darkness, mainly) and it is not very fun.

I don't have time to organize my thoughts. And I'm tired of doing journaly posts just because they are easy.

All I want to do is sleep.