and so it begins.

I'm sad because the seemingly enjoyable event of Prom has been overshadowed by the SAT, my AP Stats exam, and fretting over my future. I hate fretting over my future. Who cares about the SAT? I wish I didn't, but I do. Now my separation from my friends is becoming more evident in that I refuse to squander my money and hurt the environment and I am not going to their party after Prom. That's what I get for standing my ground, I guess. I wish that this school year was over, and I can get on with my senior year. Hopefully, I will have absolutely no life and won't go anywhere because of my rigorous academic schedule. I won't even have to try to go places. It will just be a given that I am always studying. Oh well. I'm really tired, and really stressed about the SAT. I need to stop it. So what if I don't go up. I'm just going to let it be. And if I totally bomb the AP stats exam, well then ok. Why not. I'll just take it again in college. And, no matter how well I do on the SAT, I'll still get in to a lot of colleges with my previous score. See, I'm already feeling better about myself. Good for me. And I have the summer to look forward to. Six weeks of new people and new experiences and fun without unneccesary drama. I cannot wait. I just have to make it through next Tuesday. Once again I'm sad that Prom's excitement factor has been extremely dampened. I'm looking forward to it. Really.

I seem to be under a lot of stress lately. It is evident in this pimple that is in the middle of my nose and makes me look like Rudolph. Ahh, the power of concealer. Hopefully all the stress will go away after May 4th, the dreaded day of my AP Stats Exam. On Saturday, I have to do a number of unfamiliar things, which are bound to be exhausting. I have to take the SAT. It tires my brain and makes me think about college, which I don't want to face until I have to. It also is just really hard and stressful. Then I have to get my hair done, something that I've never done before and that I don't plan on doing all that much. I also have to get my makeup done, and I never wear makeup. I will have to wear makeup from around 3 PM to really really late at night/early in the morning. It is a new experience. Also, I will have to wear a formal, strapless dress and high heels for a long time, also something I have never done. After all this Prom business, the next morning I actually have to go to church and lead in the Seniors because I'm the only Junior Marshall that goes to our church. Then I have a piano recital, and then I'm going to a pool party. The piano recital is stressful because I haven't mastered one of my songs and haven't practiced the others enough. I have no idea when any of my homework for the weekend will get done. And to top it all off, I have the AP Stats Exam. Holy freaking cow. Well, I'm going to go do my Pre-Cal homework, just another load on my back. Whatever. Carpe Diem. The weekend is almost here, which means it's almost over.

ahhh once again no updates. oh, here's one: i'm not paying $100 and my date isn't paying a separate $100 to ride in a gas-guzzling, stretch, white hummer limo for my junior prom. sorry!

nothing to post about. long day, long week ahead, holy cow saturday is going to be really long, bye.

Just got back from a day of college touring. Fun times. I had to wake up at 6 AM to be at Carolina by 8 for this 'Carolina 101' thing. Very informational. My tour guide wasn't the best in the world, there were probably many better ones we could have recieved. Darn. After the day at Carolina, we stopped by Duke and had a peek at the West Campus. Pretty. As we were driving in, it reminded me of Stanford's drive in, only totally easternized. When you drive in at Stanford, it is a straight road lined with palm trees leading up to the mission-style chapel, the Hoover Tower right behind, and rolling hills behind all that. At Duke, the road was lined with oaks and stuff, and the road led up to a huge, gothic-style chapel/tower. It was funny to see the similarities. After Duke, we went to Four Seasons mall to get Prom soes, then to Carrabbas for Dinner. Apparently it is somebody in the Greensboro area's Prom, because there were tons of limos and girls in Prom dresses. I wouldn't have chosen Carrabba's, but whatever floats your boat. Now I'm sitting here, lamenting the fact that: a) I'm not at college; b) I don't have a 'best friend'; and c) Stats stinks. So instead of staying awake, I'm going to sleep for a long time. Me gusta dormir.

yesssssssssss it's storming. i love storms.

Today I worked at the YL spaghetti supper. It was fun, I guess. I liked hanging with the people, and I like waitressing, but I had no other motives. I don't need money for camp or anything, I just donated my time. What fun. Now I'm sad because I have to wake up at 6:00 AM on a Saturday. Yeah, I'm going to Chapel Hill for a tour. 'Carolina 101'. Whatever. I guess I'm excited. I'm kind of in a bad mood because I'm so tired. I can't stop myself from saying whatever. This is turning out to be one of those forced blogs where I have to think after almost every sentence. I don't like continuing with those types. So I won't.

oh, and I didn't go rollerblading because of my aching back. It doesn't really ache, just kind of sharp pains when I put pressure on my left leg. But I'm sure you all really wanted to know that. Whatever.

My day was so average today. It really makes me kind of sad. I went to school, did some hard stuff, drove to pilot, came home, and did some homework. The only really exciting thing was watching CSI. And It wasn't that exciting. My back hurts too. It depresses me. All I want is to sleep. Forever. And be done with AP Stats. Forever. I wish that we knew what we were doing in that class. It helps if the teacher teaches, but whatever works. When she threatens to make us copy down notes from the book instead of listening to her, it almost sounds better. I would probably get more out of the section if I did it that way. I think I did good on our tests today, but just because I think that, I will not do good. And I'm really hoping that Mrs. George will let us not come to 3rd period for 2 weeks so we can 'work on our projects' at home. I wish. Just because I really want that to happen, it won't. I can honestly not think of one time when I've wanted something really bad and actually gotten it. Whatever. I'm not saying good things don't happen, because they do. I think I have too high expectations. Maybe being a pessimist is more fun. You are never dissapointed. But I really don't think an optimist can switch over to a pessimist of their own conscious thought. I would always be optimistic, deep down inside, and still be dissapointed if it didn't go my way. Maybe everybody is like that. I bet pessimism is just for people to cover up their true feelings, as if it makes it any better when they don't get what they really want. Oh well. I'm going to go to sleep now. I heart sleep.

Is a bad attitude contagious? It seems that way. Today was full of bad attitudes. First it was Jill because she didn't get enough sleep, then it was Mom, then it was Ms. Sarah Gammons at the HS regarding our AP Stats seating assignments. I mean come on. It has got to be some kind of illegal to stop me from asking Alex for help. He and I are on the same level. If I ask Ms. G a question, she sets me back like 27 steps to explain it to me, and she doesn't really ever understand what I'm asking. You know what they say... 'those who can't do, teach. those who can't teach, teach gym.' So true. Then Mom was in a bad mood again, then Jill about band or something, and finally it was Dad. Dad's was really random. He asked me to move t.v.'s in the middle of the OC and I asked if I could wait for a commercial break. I thought he said yes, so I kept on watching. After like 5 minutes he got really hostile and mean. Weird. Whatever. I only got in a bad mood because of the contagious bad moods. Now my hip hurts and I have to take an AP Stats test tomorrow. Uggh. But tomorrow, after school and pilot taxiing, I plan on rollerblading on the walking trail. Just me, my CD player, and some rollerblades. Ahh the joys of solitude. And endorphins from exercising. Ok, now I'm going to sleep for 8.5 hours. Halleluia.

example of my 'song sticking':

sbscheerqueen: i've had that freaking "i wish i was in the land of cotton" song in my head all day long!

I am slightly alarmed by events in my life lately. The first is my obsession with driving my mom's car. It is a Yukon XL. In case you don't know, it rivals the Ford Excursion in size. Huge. Massive. Ridiculous. I feel like I take up 2 lanes when I drive it. I can barely park it. When we went to Kyoto the other day, my attempt to park in just one spot failed and I ended up right smack dab in the middle of two spots. Why am I obsessed with it? Probably for the same reason my mom is. It is a power trip. I feel bigger than all of the cars on the road. Quite a change from my Corolla (who i have named billy). Billy is so small, he could probably fit underneath the Yukon. If it had an open back, I could probably park Billy in the trunk of the Yukon. I feel very powerful in Mom's car. I get to drive it tomorrow, and I'm really excited. The second alarming thing is my recent 'infatuation' with rap songs. Just the funny ones. I was exposed to a couple yesterday while listening to the XM radio in Mom's car. "Ladies is pimps too, go on brush your shoulders off." "You wanna be a wanksta but you aint got none" or something like that. They are funny. It is also funny to say it in 'white language' in front of people who have heard it before. They find it hillarious. Like today, I said to Audra: "Hey, I think I've got something on my shoulder, could you brush it off for me?" So tomorrow when I drive the tanker, I'll be sure to listen to some more rap. And then get it stuck in everybody's head.

I'm blogging right now because I promised Leash I'd post every day this week, and I probably won't have time to do a late night post. Too much homework and chores and stuff. My room is really messy because I have been trying to find some shorts and summery clothes. I guess I'll have to do some rearranging. And some laundry.

My grandparents made a visit this weekend. I didn't know my Dad's parents would be arriving on Thursday until it was already Wednesday night. Oops! I guess I'm out of the loop. They left yesterday... it was a fun visit. Now my grandma from England (la madre de mi madre) is here. She brought back some British candy. I much prefer chocolate from Britain to chocolate here. It's much sweeter. Her arrival is bittersweet, though, because I have to give up driving whenever I want. She gets to use my car while she's here. That whole thing is bittersweet because although I won't be able to sleep in late and drive myself places, I won't have to drive Jill and Charlotte everywhere. That is really nice.

I think I'll go do some laundry or something. And some homework. Yeah... that sounds good.

Hello All... I write to you in shorts and a t-shirt and I am still burning up. How the heck is it 88 degrees? I don't know. But it's annoying. I also write to you with a farmers-sunburn. Yesterday was a heck of a busy day for me. First I woke up at 7:30 to go to the March of Dimes, where I walked 6 miles around town. I am really sore and I walk like a grandma after I've been sitting down for a while. After MOD I had Rocka Fest where I worked all day at the Interact booth which was ridiculously underwhelming. We were sitting on the football field which has absolutely no shade. Needless to say, I'm sunburnt. Only, it's probably going to go away by Monday and I'll only have freckles as proof that I was out in the sun. Story of my life. After eating dinner with my Grandparents, I went to Mo' Rocka. It was good, though I'm sad I missed the bands from our school. I showed up in the middle of "Only on Sunday." They were pretty good. So now I'm really glad all of that is over, I was becoming a little bit stressed. Now I'm off to Church and stuff. Au revoir.

Holy Cow, guys!! We missed the 1st birthday of my blog! It turned 1 on March 6. Happy Belated Birthday, blog! And thanks to Brad for reminding me...

I am (fortunately or unfortunately... you choose) the queen of getting songs stuck in people's heads. All you have to do is start singing a catchy tune and people will sing along. I do it all the time. Example 1- I started singing "I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life..." before class. Later on, I heard a couple people singing it. My work was a success! Example 2- I heard Avril Lavigne ("did you think that I was gonna give it up to you this time") on the way to school, so I sang it at lunch and got Audra singing it. Then I wrote her a note with the lyrics. Definitely stuck. The thing is, I don't mind having songs stuck in my head, because I can either relish it or replace it with a new one, because I am the one who started it. When somebody else gets one stuck in my head, it is annoying and never goes away. That's what I do to people. Annoying, maybe... but I am enriching their daily musical experience. I sang the Sesame Street song in Spanish, very timidly, and got a chuckle out of Ms. Ucinska. I didn't sing it enough for it to catch on, though. Too bad. I often find myself singing about random things. I'll just sing my hello to somebody instead of saying it. Or maybe I'll sing some part of something I say. It randomly happens. My day becomes more and more like a musical and less and less boring. Whatever it takes, I say. For all of you dying to get a song stuck in your head (and I know a lot of you are...) I'll give you some suggestions. "I just died in your arms tonight... it must have been something you said" (Journey, I think...) or "Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head" (Blink 182). I can't think of any more right now. Have fun!

There's nothing quite like being serenaded by my slightly tone-deaf mother singing along to a dog food commercial on a Sunday night. Gotta love it. I love weekends. If only they happened more often. And if only my next three weren't jam packed with things to do. But next weekend will end up well... hopefully. I hope these bands don't suck after a long day of march-of-diming and rock-a-festing. Fun times. Hopefully it will be warm and I can get a farmers tan. Hey... at least it's a tan, right? Hah. So I apologize for my lack of subject matter on which to comment. I have to start exercising again to work off those Cadbury Eggs. Those are good. So maybe tomorrow I'll have some good things to comment on. For now, I must go finish The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I like English class. Mrs. Carson is so... thoughtful. Okey dokey... off to Jim and Huck and Tom.

I went to Hickory (h-k-weeezy) this weekend to have a Shmimmy reunion. It was much fun indeed. Now I'm sad to be back in Mayberry. I went to see Jerry Chapman and the Evil Herbivores along with Joel Calloway at the Good Life tonight, and it was also a lot of fun. I was there for a substantial amount of time, where I sat with Leash and roasted marshmallows (fun times!), sat on the couch with mi padre, and sang along. They really got into it, and had a great jam session on the last song. 'Takin Care of Business'. Tons of fun. I'm proud of myself for sitting on the couch with my dad and not in that loud room of boys my age. Sometimes I just like listening to the music, not having a social gathering. Back to Hickory. It was tons-o-fun! I had some great experiences. A Shabat (sp?) dinner with Shmimmy's Jewish friends, Lazer Tag with some more of her friends, watching The Prince and Me, shopping, sleeping for 12 hours, watching Wet Hot American Summer. Total fun times to the max. Okey dokey, it's now bedtime. Happy Easter, folks!

P.S.- I got yet another CD on Saturday after my CD post. Howie Day. Quite good. Oh, and on Sunday night, I had my first 'gig,' at the Church. Fun times!

Life is kinda funny. More specifically, high school is kinda funny. Everyone is worried about what people think or who is saying what or who likes who and why and stupid stuff like that. Things are akward a lot of the time, and people are totally immature. Sometimes I wish I could just tune out the rest of high school and fast forward to college or something. College will probably be just like high school, but at least a higher percentage of people will be mature- at least that's what I'm hoping. Maybe I should sit everybody in the high school down and tell them that life is a whole heck of a lot easier if you don't take everything so seriously. Have a little fun, people! Not the kind of fun that is only funny until the wrong person finds out about it, but the fun that lasts forever, and then you remember it later and it still makes you happy. This is the way I've lived my life so far, and I don't really have enemies. Some people may not like me, but I don't dwell on it, and it goes away. It can be so easy, yet most people make it so hard. Instead of dwelling on what look somebody gave somebody else and all the possible meanings, why not just think about funny things? High school is mainly annoying because nobody has self-esteem or self-worth. People only have self-preservation. What will make them the happiest in the long run. What friends will get them the right connections. Who cares?

Whoa... blogging at nigt is a whole other experience, and I like it. I seem to have the same theme when this happens, though. I guess that shows that it really is some sort of problem. Right now I'm concentrating on how fun the Biltmore trip is gonna be, and how great it is that I'm going to Hickory this weekend. My escape! I love it!! Oh now I guess it's time for bed. Life is funny. Sometimes comically funny, other times the odd kind of funny.

Lately I've been buying a lot of CD's. I got over the whole burning thing because by the time I got them on CD I was already sick of them and I never listened to it. Now I get a whole lot more songs that I wouldn't have gotten on a mix. I like this way a whole lot better. I used to have a bad CD collection, and now I'm building on it. I have some really good stuff. Every time I listen to a CD, I remember how I felt when I first listened to it. For example: Right now I'm listening to Fountains of Wayne: Welcome Interstate Managers, and I'm remembering how I felt and what I was doing when I got it. I was babysitting and I went with the kid to go get some donuts at Krispy Kreme, but when we got there he said he didn't want any so I went and got this CD and then we went to the Talent Show @ MAHS. Cool. Another CD that brings back memories like that is my Paul Simon: on my way... compilation CD. I got it after YLS one time and then that weekend I went to YL Windy Gap and had "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" in my head all weekend. It is like a domino effect, because I start thinking about memories a long time ago. Who needs pictures?? not me... just give me CD's.